Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

nomoretears
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 208

20 Feb 2015, 1:24 pm

...I dont think I can deal with them! It just seems like a lot of drama.
First, its hard for me to find someone im interested in. When I do, I get elated and excited.

Then everything comes crashing down. I become very unhappy.

Recently I had a crush, but that fizzled. I figure I said something wrong and scared him off (as usual). I havent heard from him in two months. :(

I dont see how people can constantly go through this stuff. :/



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

20 Feb 2015, 5:26 pm

Well, I don't get elated you see. I simply look forward to spending some time getting to know someone, and perhaps there will be a connection and things will progress, or perhaps not. It's usually not anyone's fault if we aren't compatible so it's no big deal.

Also I'm pretty good at moving on. If I get rejected, I'm no longer interested, as I don't want to date someone who doesn't want to date me. So, rarely is there heartache. And personally I think there are many worse things in life than heartache anyway, and it's definitely worth risking heartache to find someone special. The potential rewards strongly outweigh the potential hurt.



aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,287
Location: Canada

20 Feb 2015, 5:37 pm

I was like that once. I didn't know how to deal with emotions of any kind at the time. I also gave into self-defeating tendencies (ie. meet someone who likes me and then kinda sabotage it because "whats wrong with her? Noone is ever interested in me.")

Now, I see it as I want to spend time with the gf and I can do it without any real pressure from anyone including myself.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


nomoretears
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 208

20 Feb 2015, 11:43 pm

At first I dont get elated, but after awhile I cant help it. :( I guess this is when I get comfy and say all the wrong things. I guess im sensitive because getting dumped hurts me. Ive had guys straight up disappear.



ForeignObject
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2014
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 208
Location: Underneath the ring.

23 Feb 2015, 6:10 am

nomoretears wrote:
At first I dont get elated, but after awhile I cant help it. :( I guess this is when I get comfy and say all the wrong things. I guess im sensitive because getting dumped hurts me. Ive had guys straight up disappear.


I'm couldn't have typed it better myself. I know how you feel.


_________________
Yes, I am transgendered! How'd you know?


nomoretears
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 208

03 Mar 2015, 6:19 am

ForeignObject wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
At first I dont get elated, but after awhile I cant help it. :( I guess this is when I get comfy and say all the wrong things. I guess im sensitive because getting dumped hurts me. Ive had guys straight up disappear.


I'm couldn't have typed it better myself. I know how you feel.


Im glad someone understands. :)
I guess in 2 or 3 years ill find another crush and mess that up. :/
I guess if I want to be successful in relationships I must never become to comfortable.



DavidTaylor
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2015
Posts: 12
Location: 4012 Coburn Hollow Road Carlock, IL 61725

05 Mar 2015, 9:34 am

A relation can go long and long untill and unless you dont bring any communication lapse. It doesnt matter whether you contact the guy/girl first or he/she does. Don't maintain ego in this matter at least!



queensamaria
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 345
Location: Illinois

05 Mar 2015, 11:22 am

I have never been on a real date.


_________________
"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it" - Maya Angelou


ForeignObject
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2014
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 208
Location: Underneath the ring.

08 Mar 2015, 1:53 am

nomoretears wrote:
ForeignObject wrote:
nomoretears wrote:
At first I dont get elated, but after awhile I cant help it. :( I guess this is when I get comfy and say all the wrong things. I guess im sensitive because getting dumped hurts me. Ive had guys straight up disappear.


I'm couldn't have typed it better myself. I know how you feel.


Im glad someone understands. :)
I guess in 2 or 3 years ill find another crush and mess that up. :/
I guess if I want to be successful in relationships I must never become to comfortable.

I had boyfriends (not many) and when I get comfortable with them, I just lose control and am emotional putty in their hands. Being this emotionally sensitive hurts and I have a hard time being not comfortable when I get to know that person. The last boyfriend that I had cheated on me and I came home to find out that my bedroom smelled of female. I want to date, but I really don't know how to not get emotionally attached too quickly.


_________________
Yes, I am transgendered! How'd you know?


Kiriae
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2014
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,349
Location: Kraków, Poland

08 Mar 2015, 10:20 am

I find dating boring and troublesome.

1. I have to decide I want to date someone. Not easy since I am generally not interested in people.
2. I have to change my routine and leave my house to go to an unknown place full of sounds, lights and people.
3. I have to talk with someone I barely know and try to find something to talk about, while ignoring all the things bombarding my senses.
4. I have to decide when it is time to say goodbye. I am usually too late - it happens long after I start yawning and go in semi-shutdown mode.
5. It takes 3 days for me to rest enough and get back to my disturbed routine.

Just leave me alone please.



nomoretears
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 208

10 Mar 2015, 7:36 am

Kiriae wrote:
I find dating boring and troublesome.

1. I have to decide I want to date someone. Not easy since I am generally not interested in people.
2. I have to change my routine and leave my house to go to an unknown place full of sounds, lights and people.
3. I have to talk with someone I barely know and try to find something to talk about, while ignoring all the things bombarding my senses.
4. I have to decide when it is time to say goodbye. I am usually too late - it happens long after I start yawning and go in semi-shutdown mode.
5. It takes 3 days for me to rest enough and get back to my disturbed routine.

Just leave me alone please.


Very true. For me #2 is especially true. I have to rearrange my routine to go do something different. Then when the relationship or whatever ends, I have to switch the routine again. work work work



KayteeKay
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2015
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 146

14 Mar 2015, 8:01 am

nomoretears wrote:
...I dont think I can deal with them! It just seems like a lot of drama.
First, its hard for me to find someone im interested in. When I do, I get elated and excited.

Then everything comes crashing down. I become very unhappy.

Recently I had a crush, but that fizzled. I figure I said something wrong and scared him off (as usual). I havent heard from him in two months. :(

I dont see how people can constantly go through this stuff. :/


Getting your hopes SO up on a person you barely knew and thus didn't or "barely" knew, well, is something you might wanna rethink.