do you find autistic girls attractive?

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MONKEY
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01 Sep 2009, 10:32 am

Veresae wrote:
Depends how high or low functioning. If she's any lower functioning than the average aspie, then usually I don't find her attractive, and even if she is relatively high functioning certain little things can really turn me off. >.>

I knew a girl who was more medium-functioning autism in high school...while she wasn't stupid exactly (I'm sure she was very intelligent in some ways), I found her so naive and repulsive and irritating and giggly and immature and with an annoying as hell voice. (Think Spongebob's style of speaking, except her actual voice was different.) And to top it all off, she had a crush on me. So yeah...wasn't good. Classic example: in high school theatre class the kids were doing a skit in which a girl was being on trial for masturbating in class, and several of the other students were basically called up there pretending to be eye witnesses. The autistic girl was one of the "eye witnesses" and showed through her response that she clearly had no idea what masturbation was. And she was so gleeful in her ignorance. In another time we were playing charades, and when she went up she so completely misunderstood what she was supposed to be doing, but was still so gleeful and giggly about it. I find such...gleeful ignorance and immaturity to just be really icky.

With aspie girls it's hard to say. Oftentimes they have things that attract me to them--they're more likely to share interests with me than non-aspie girls, it seems, and I like the strangeness. But...and I hate to stereotype, but so many of them are so trapped in damage. While I can definitely be friends with someone who is as damaged and depressed as I, it's hard for me to be anything more in many cases because...someone who can't get themselves to change, to grow and mature, someone who doesn't have enough faith in their abilities to improve as a person if they try--that is someone I find hard to date, because whenever I ask her how her life is her response always makes me feel so miserable. How could I fall in love with someone like that? That would imply the most intense care I had, and that would make my well being dependent on her's--and she would always be damaged, always be sad. >.< Just having some issues or being depressed isn't what I mean, though...that's all fine...but someone who would never grow up without help...that's not appealing.


She sounds adorable :3 I so want her as a best friend lol.
Being a mostly straight girl (I allow some exceptions :wink:) I will comment on the boys. I know quite a few autisic boys (both aspie and autie) and I am friends with some of them. Well, I have had loads of crushes on aspie dudes for some reason, I don't know it's something about their sense of humours and their sensitive side that gets me. I don't just seek out aspies though of course I don't care what brain structure they have, it just so happens that I find myself having a natural attraction so aspie-like boys. I like their eyes too how they have that daydreamy look to them *drools* anyway like I said I don't just go for aspies of course lol.


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01 Sep 2009, 10:38 am

I used to be best friends (or so I thought) with a female aspie who completely went and f*cked me over. Hence Im never going near one ever again.


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bdhkhsfgk
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01 Sep 2009, 12:10 pm

I find aspie girls awesome, i've met a few of them at my psychiatrists, and they're hotter, kinder, more patient, caring and cooler than nt girls, i have a crush on one particular aspie girl, i will probably ask her out soon, and i view girls like this; Aspie girls>Nt girls. AS girls are too cool for them anyway :D. I think about them every day, they simply amaze me.



polymathpoolplayer
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02 Sep 2009, 1:24 am

I honestly don't know any here locally, but after seeing some of the Youtube links showing women with Aspie eyes I have to say I almost get hypnotized by looking into their eyes and I find that experience very compelling.



Hailey
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02 Sep 2009, 1:38 am

innocent, kinda naiive and pure.



Last edited by Hailey on 06 Sep 2009, 7:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

bdhkhsfgk
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02 Sep 2009, 2:05 am

Hailey wrote:
innocent, kinda naiive and pure.


Perfect description of aspie girl, they're so adorable<3

Aren't they? 8)



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02 Sep 2009, 2:08 am

I see FreeSpirit resurrects another old thread from the dead! :lol:

AS girls? I don't know... I haven't met many of them. The few that I have met have all been cool in their own Aspie way :P and I can definitely see a long-term friendship/relationship with an AS girl, even like a best friend, just like I could with an AS guy. But romantically? I'd be open to the possibility, but I think I'd prefer AS guys more. Either way, I'd definitely find an Aspie, guy or girl, without too many serious issues and with some level of social skill (doesn't have to be high level) to be attractive. It's just too draining to be in a relationship where everything revolves around the other person, and not shared between me and the other person. :?

I know there are always exceptions (e.g. nerdy types), but generally speaking, as a bi AS guy my own history with various kinds of people has been:
NT straight guys - can't stand them
NT nonstraight guys - varies wildly, depending on the person
NT girls - short-term, situational relationships only (annoy me after a while)
AS girls - long-term relationships, possibly romantic
AS guys - long-term relationships, romantic

I have enough social skill to small talk and banter with everyone, but I short out the fastest when dealing with NT straight guys. With AS girls and guys I barely have to talk and it's usually good. :)


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bdhkhsfgk
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02 Sep 2009, 2:31 am

Stinkypuppy wrote:
I see FreeSpirit resurrects another old thread from the dead! :lol:

AS girls? I don't know... I haven't met many of them. The few that I have met have all been cool in their own Aspie way :P and I can definitely see a long-term friendship/relationship with an AS girl, even like a best friend, just like I could with an AS guy. But romantically? I'd be open to the possibility, but I think I'd prefer AS guys more. Either way, I'd definitely find an Aspie, guy or girl, without too many serious issues and with some level of social skill (doesn't have to be high level) to be attractive. It's just too draining to be in a relationship where everything revolves around the other person, and not shared between me and the other person. :?

I know there are always exceptions (e.g. nerdy types), but generally speaking, as a bi AS guy my own history with various kinds of people has been:
NT straight guys - can't stand them
NT nonstraight guys - varies wildly, depending on the person
NT girls - short-term, situational relationships only (annoy me after a while)
AS girls - long-term relationships, possibly romantic
AS guys - long-term relationships, romantic

I have enough social skill to small talk and banter with everyone, but I short out the fastest when dealing with NT straight guys. With AS girls and guys I barely have to talk and it's usually good. :)


I am bi too, here's my view on the sexes, NT's, and aspies

NT straight guys- SOme of them think they arew so hot and cool, but inside i think they are afraid, not attracitve at all.

NT Gays- They attract me, much more open, kind and interesting, they are some of the kindest people ever, no matter what people say, they are wonderful.

NT girls- ....................... they are just b*tchy, most of them.

Lesbian girls- I love them, but i would only have a chance on them if they were bi, and when it comes to BISEXUAL girls, i can hardly think of anything more lovely, except the following:

As guys: They're cool.

Gay AS guys: I absolutely ADORE them.

AS girls: They are simply wonderful, they're not b*tchy, irritating................ I don't think it would be a problem having a relationship with them, i can see they are much more caring, hot, and tolerable.

Lesbian AS girls- NO WAY, i don't like that :eew:

Bisexual as girls- The most fitting relationship for me, they are.................STUNNING<3



Hailey
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02 Sep 2009, 7:16 am

fg



Last edited by Hailey on 06 Sep 2009, 7:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Stinkypuppy
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02 Sep 2009, 9:38 am

bdhkhsfgk wrote:
NT straight guys- SOme of them think they arew so hot and cool, but inside i think they are afraid, not attracitve at all.

Definitely agree here! :eew:

Quote:
NT (straight) girls- ....................... they are just b*tchy, most of them.

Yeah, most of them seem that way. :? Personally I think they're great for learning and testing social skills, as if you do anything wrong you're going to figure it out from them at some point. I noticed that I can attract many of them by being really confident provider, but I get frustrated and lose my patience with them when I get tired of providing and they get bored and turn to other people... :roll:

Actually, now that I think of it, I think NT nonstraight girls would be similar to NT nonstraight guys for me -- highly variable and dependent on the person.

I did not do a breakdown of AS folks by sexuality because, well frankly I think all AS folks are bi or still figuring themselves out! :lol: bdhkhsfgk I know you're still in the process of accepting your bisexuality (in your "! !!" thread) so I didn't want to say that earlier, didn't want to pressure you or anything...


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02 Sep 2009, 10:18 am

Hailey wrote:
I am absolutely not a nice person. I mean I can be nice, but most of the time I'm an absolute jerk. My AS girlfriend tells me that's one of the things that make me attractive. Im outgoing, selfish, difficult, and bitchy. She says she likes the whole bad girl image. lol kinda weird hah...but we all have our prefernces, I like her shy personality and cute face. But yea, I am not nice


Is your girlfriend the chick in the avatar?



bdhkhsfgk
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02 Sep 2009, 10:23 am

Stinkypuppy, i could never learn social skills from hetero nt chicks, i would get into a mental hospital, but i MAY not need to, because i can remember there several chicks who had a crush on me in secondary school, the thing that seemed cool with me was that i was quiet and introverted, sometimes i guess ya don't need to learn social skills, just be and introverted aspie boy.



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02 Sep 2009, 11:03 am

bdhkhsfgk wrote:
Stinkypuppy, i could never learn social skills from hetero nt chicks, i would get into a mental hospital, but i MAY not need to, because i can remember there several chicks who had a crush on me in secondary school, the thing that seemed cool with me was that i was quiet and introverted, sometimes i guess ya don't need to learn social skills, just be and introverted aspie boy.

It's considerably easier to pick up the social skills from straight NT girls when:
1) you start young, the earlier the better... it's always going to be hard but starting in teenage years is HARDER! :(
2) you have a much more stable relationship (e.g. best friend) on hand to keep you mentally up when the relationship with the straight NT girl gets rocky (which invariably happens) or ends

... but for some inexplicable reason, from having read a variety of your posts, my sense is that you've picked up more social skills than you might think you have. Maybe they didn't come from straight NT girls, but somewhere else. At any rate, I'm just saying that straight NT girls are a convenient, but not the only source of getting and testing social skills. :)


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bdhkhsfgk
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02 Sep 2009, 11:15 am

Stinkypuppy wrote:
bdhkhsfgk wrote:
Stinkypuppy, i could never learn social skills from hetero nt chicks, i would get into a mental hospital, but i MAY not need to, because i can remember there several chicks who had a crush on me in secondary school, the thing that seemed cool with me was that i was quiet and introverted, sometimes i guess ya don't need to learn social skills, just be and introverted aspie boy.

It's considerably easier to pick up the social skills from straight NT girls when:
1) you start young, the earlier the better... it's always going to be hard but starting in teenage years is HARDER! :(
2) you have a much more stable relationship (e.g. best friend) on hand to keep you mentally up when the relationship with the straight NT girl gets rocky (which invariably happens) or ends

... but for some inexplicable reason, from having read a variety of your posts, my sense is that you've picked up more social skills than you might think you have. Maybe they didn't come from straight NT girls, but somewhere else. At any rate, I'm just saying that straight NT girls are a convenient, but not the only source of getting and testing social skills. :)
I hav enot tried flirting, but i don't need to, because my introverted is considered cool, and that alone is awesome :P And social skills, many of my as friends have no social workers, but i have, so i don't have so big social skills, however, there is no way i will become as social as them, and i think that may damage me because of my view on humanity. They have also ignored me a few times, but if they think about forcing me to have good social skills, i will abandon them all.



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02 Sep 2009, 12:04 pm

bdhkhsfgk wrote:
I hav enot tried flirting, but i don't need to, because my introverted is considered cool, and that alone is awesome :P And social skills, many of my as friends have no social workers, but i have, so i don't have so big social skills, however, there is no way i will become as social as them, and i think that may damage me because of my view on humanity. They have also ignored me a few times, but if they think about forcing me to have good social skills, i will abandon them all.

The nice thing about being able to step away from any sort of relationship (romantic or platonic) with a straight NT girl is so that you don't feel forced into keeping up with the social skills. I tend to see social skills like job skills; they're great to have as tools, but are a lot easier to gain if not crammed down your throat. Oh yeah, I'm not suggesting that a romantic relationship with a straight NT girl is required to get social skills. We can still get a lot from a platonic relationship. Also, straight NT female teenagers are very different from straight NT females in their late 20s, so age can very conceivably be a factor.

Social skills will never come as naturally to us as they do to NTs, and we really don't need to be as good as them with the social skills either. However social skills are great for those times when our many AS strengths cannot compensate for our AS weaknesses. I don't think social skills are intended to be used 24/7... so I don't think you should change your generally shy introversion. :) Social skills are just useful to have when you need them. Just think, maybe one day you can save someone's life with timely use of a social skill!! :P


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02 Sep 2009, 12:56 pm

Stinkypuppy wrote:
bdhkhsfgk wrote:
I hav enot tried flirting, but i don't need to, because my introverted is considered cool, and that alone is awesome :P And social skills, many of my as friends have no social workers, but i have, so i don't have so big social skills, however, there is no way i will become as social as them, and i think that may damage me because of my view on humanity. They have also ignored me a few times, but if they think about forcing me to have good social skills, i will abandon them all.

The nice thing about being able to step away from any sort of relationship (romantic or platonic) with a straight NT girl is so that you don't feel forced into keeping up with the social skills.
:hail: