is it normal to still have feelings for an ex years later?

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frodosam
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26 Feb 2009, 5:07 am

This is normal, you can't erase the memories, they were a part of your life for better or worse



Lene
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27 Feb 2009, 5:59 am

I still miss my ex :( He dumped me but seemed to have changed his mind a couple of weeks ago (after contacting his ex who doesn't appear to have replied)... I don't know if I should contact him again (but I really want to)

The thing is, I'm seeing a new person (a friend who had a crush on me for ages). Intellectually, this guy treats me better, is funnier and cares more for me, but has a history of many relationships, gets bored easily and is good at manipulating people, so I don't feel I can trust him and I'm still very upset at the break up with my first bf. I feel dishonest staying in the relationship (it's long distance, and I don't want to end it by phone, but then I have to wait ages to see him). I'd really like to remain friends with this guy, but when I went out with my ex, he ignored me, and I think it will be the same again...

Complicated :(



frodosam
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27 May 2009, 4:32 am

:)



Last edited by frodosam on 28 May 2009, 3:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

amazon_television
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27 May 2009, 11:30 am

My last 2 girlfriends (who between the 2 I spent 6 of the last 9 years with) are both still very good friends of mine; my feelings are strong enough that I wouldn't even want to get back together with either of them for fear of things not working out and losing the connection that we have. Both break ups were VERY bad and in both cases it took years and a ton of work on both sides to repair things, but there was enough there that it was totally worth the effort.



KittenWithAWhip
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27 May 2009, 12:16 pm

'Closure' does not exist. Part of that is because emotion is a chemical reaction in your brain that forges permanent pathways. The more you think of that person, the deeper etched they become in your head, literally. That doesn't mean, though, that we are at the mercy of every memory--it just seems that way sometimes. :roll:


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