Confused by non-reciprocal conversations!

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CryingTears15
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02 Mar 2015, 4:07 pm

I am a sixteen-year old Aspie girl. I also have a (probable) attraction to girls, and I have come across a girl who I am interested in. I also would just like to be her friend, because she might be straight and she's friends with a guy I also like.

So I started thinking about how to talk to her. I came up with asking her about what she thought of a character in our assigned book, (she's in my English) class, which I thought was cool because we're teenagers and this character has some morally questionable and...sensual exploits. The main character also "takes home" another girl with a boyfriend later.

So I asked her, and she just went, "yeah" a lot. I tried to keep the conversation up, but she just kind of was like, "yeah". :T

I don't know if she wasn't interested in our conversation or me.

My brother says everyone in high school is really nice because in middle school, they realized how dumb "popularity" is. And he's got a few friends who hang out with everyone.

Also, his (really, really popular) friend says that if someone does that, they either say "yeah" a lot or they're an [expletive]. Except he talks to her, so why didn't he tell me if she was one or the other? :(

I wanted to ask her about the play she was in, but then she'd be like, "Why are you asking me?" And then it was too awkward to keep talking.

Is it too awkward to talk to her now? :?



SocOfAutism
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02 Mar 2015, 4:53 pm

I'm sure someone younger and more "with it" will answer you soon. It's been *ahem* quite a few years since I was your age.

1) Teenaged girls are notorious for giving mixed signals. I think you have to keep doing what you just did, which is test the water a little and then back away. Just see how she acts for awhile before you try things out again.

2) Maybe she needs to think about it. She could be not sure if she likes girls or boys- maybe she never even thought about it before.

3) Your brother and his friends are not likely to be able to help you that much. I mean, keep asking, but remember that they don't know much more than you, even if they're older. Especially if you're interested in a girl. You're now competition. They might give you the wrong advice on purpose to throw you off.

4) Girls act differently in romantic relationships than they do in friendships. You said you might just want to stay regular friends? If you keep observing her and testing the water here and there you should get a better idea of if she'd be a better friend or romantic partner.



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2015, 10:21 am

It seems like you like both guys and girls; am I right?

I wish I were actually "there" to really evaluate this.

I think the above advice is decent--considering we're not "there."

Probably, a "going with the flow" kind of orientation is best.

Truthfully, if a girl is straight, she might not like it if a person of the same sex is pursuing her for romance.

Just like I feel uncomfortable if some guy had the "hots" for me.



CryingTears15
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03 Mar 2015, 4:04 pm

True. But I never made it apparent I liked her. I just tried to talk to her, and not in a flirty way. orz



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2015, 7:17 pm

I guess it's a matter of "finding the right time."



CryingTears15
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03 Mar 2015, 8:06 pm

I think the girl and boy in question miiight be dating? orz



kraftiekortie
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04 Mar 2015, 1:06 am

Never seen "orz."



CryingTears15
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04 Mar 2015, 2:57 pm

It's a person on their hands and knees, defeated.



kraftiekortie
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04 Mar 2015, 7:05 pm

I know this seems pretty drastic right now. It certainly did when I was 16.

But this is only a temporary setback. Don't let this deter you from seeking romance in the future.



Taylor1002
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05 Mar 2015, 3:54 pm

I wonder if she was bored with the conversation. I often give short replies like "yeah", when I feel like that, because I want the person I'm talking with to change the topic...have you tried talking about things that might interest her more?