No desire to socialize

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I am 19 and over the course of my life I have never had a desire to socialize. This has sometimes led to issues: feelings of loneliness, feeling out of the loop, and other feelings that go along with being isolated.

But now, at 19, I still have no desire to socialize but also no negative consequences of not doing so. My internal dialogues and deep thoughts satisfy the feeling of having to socialize adequately.

Is this normal for anyone else? Do you any of you find this unhealthy to do, though I have no negative feelings about doing so?

same sentiment here, but i get depressed being alone despite enjoying it (as contradicting as it sound).

I'm 22 and I live in my head. Honestly, I enjoy it.
Though i find it fine, others around me hates. This makes me shun away from people more.
For me, I have only a handful of close friends whom i trust. Other then meeting them, I'm quite happy to be by myself. My psychologist told me that, we do need to socialise; human interaction keeps us from getting depressed. Perhaps, like taking medicine, we need them(people) in small doses.

Thanks for the post, describes my own situation.

I have told countless people before that I live inside my mind, so it is curious that you say the same.

its nice to know im not alone, and you're not alone too

I don't think there's anything wrong with that as so you truly have no desire to socialize.

But posting here on these forums makes me feel like you desire some degree of social contact, if albeit minimal. Would you agree?

Not really, I just self diagnosed this year and am still confused on a few things. Honestly have no desire to socialize, even when people ask me to do something I more than usually find an excuse out of it. The only times I do socialize is when I feel that there is an obligation to do so.

And now that I think of it, when I am in a social environment, I am usually annoyed because I want to think about things to myself, but people keep interrupting my flow of thoughts. And when I bring out what I think is going on in detail about certain things, say a show that is happening in the background, people usually look at me dumbfounded, wondering why or how I would be thinking so in-depth about something that seems so depth-less on the surface.

I'm more concerned with my thiughts or milieus to a point where I don't want to socialize at all. I have to interrupt myself at times when I need to socialize (in public settings or social settings) to remind myself of the "importance" of socializing. I have to think of it as a daily game or excersize,but some days I straight up do not want to at all or I am drained, even then I have to remind myself it's important, especially with family or friends. My wife is an important person, so on days where she really wants me to communicate, I will struggle and tell myself I need to, and fight off the nagging thoughts of "I'm too tired" or "It's pointless, the ensuing conversation isn't going to be necessary" but its important to build bonds with not just NTs but other aspies. However I have ZERO problem with sitting in the same spot not moving and just zoning out to think for 6+ hours. It's just a matter of getting a good, comfortable internal routine of knowing and actually communicating when it is necessary and knowing when it is necessary.

I.E.: I'm not feeling good or I need help; tell myself "its okay to ask for help or say you aren't feeling well"

I.E. I really don't like talking on the phone when she calls on her way home, not because I don't want to talk to her, its because she's on her way home, she can tell menwhen she get's here and I'm too worn out to even be able to pay attention over the phone/ there's too much interference for me to be on the phone. --- okay, bad example, I'm still working on this one.

All in all I don't think this is a bad thing, as long as it doesn't harm your mental or physical health.

Even us Aspies are humans, even though we feel Alien or Robotic, we still need some socialization as Social Sentient Mammals.

Interesting perspective on it. I would like to believe that I am pretty competent when other people initiate the conversation, though it may be a very brief one.

And as for distinctions, I'd like to say I am an alien while NT's are the robots, as they all act the same, as if hard wired to social situations.

I understand that very well, but that also depends on the situation of the conversation. I'd say I either start off strong when approached and taper off from there or I am too engrossed in thought and I don't even realize I am being spoken too, which seems to really anger people for some reason.

Oh I definitely feel alien or foreign more so than robotic. I have actually only met two other aspies that related more to robots, most others I meet would agree with the analogy that we are the aliens and the NTs are the robots. I only relate robotically when I have a strenuous routine or schedule in place for long periods.

I.E. I worked a night shift doing blood Q.C. for the Red Cross, I had a very specific frame of time for everything from eating to sleeping and then switching sleep schedules twice a week to account for days off and important time out of work during the day. The routine was nice, but after a year I was starting to wear out, depersonalize myself, and I went from1 1/2 to 3 packs of cigarettes a day.


Funny thing about that job as its subject oriented to the thread. I didn't socialize there for the first 2 months, then I got a little out of control with the thinking out loud and trying to fit in thing. So I spent the remaining time there trying to avoid socializing, which became impossible.

I am exactly like that. Now I have no desire to socialize. I changed my number, I'm avoiding people.

But this eventually changes, and after several months I want to socialize, so I go out to make friends.

Then after several months I lose interest and dump all my friends, ignore them, and keep myself alone.

After being alone for another long period, I switch over to the other side.. and so on, in an endless circle.

Wouldn't the fact that you get lonely at least indicate Some desire to socialise?

I just realized the mistake I made when I re-read my original post. I meant to write that in the past it created issues, but as of lately there have been no issues of loneliness whatsoever; I feel at peace when in isolation.

I can go up to two weeks fine with zero socialization, but after that I get depressed and desire to get together with friends I guess in the same way I desire aspirin for a headache. It makes the blues go away. As for isolation, well... I need solitude for at least three hours a day. I find people exhausting and that's usually the time I rest/ take time to be creative. I can't think around people.

I guess luckily for me, the main friend I hang out with also has AS, so he understands it.

I also have no motivation to socialize, I find it wrong if I've completely isolated myself from others for long. I do have friends and family members but even though I don't like to spend time with others or talk so much and I don't feel lonely or anything about.

I have often heard that autistic people have no desire to socialize. In fact one said that is often the difference between Aspies (high functioning autism) and traditional autism (aside from developmental problems). Aspies do desire social interaction but often lack the ability to get them.