Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

TigerFire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,904
Location: Cave Spring GA USA

31 Mar 2006, 10:17 am

This is really hard to tell everyone this but I'm no longer engaged. I guess I never was. I've been lying to my self about what my former fiance' always wanted from me. She only wanted my great friendship that I've been giving her but now I can't even talk to her anymore because I've made her afriad of me. I've over powered her with my love for her and she's shied away from me. This really hurts and I don't know if I could love anyone any more. Maybe I can still love someone.
There's this girl that goes to my church. Since 2004 she's been without her parents. Her mother had an afare with our former youth pastor and the youth pastor shot Olvia's father. Both of them are in jail. She's been living with realtives. She always allowed her to hug her but when I try to talk to her everything comes out all wrong. I've been overlooking her for a good while. I really care for this girl and maybe I even love I mean love her a lot but when I'm around her I feel hopeless in getting out in what I truely feel about her.
You all have been really great friends to me any maybe even thoses so called enemies that I've made have been really great friends to me. Thank you all.


_________________
Beauty is in the eye of beholder but to a theif beauty is money.


aspiesmom1
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 498
Location: Texas

31 Mar 2006, 11:29 am

Perhaps you should think about stepping back from a relationship right now, and deciding what you really want/need. Also I think it's important that you find out for *you* what romantic love means.

You talk about your great love for the girl you thought you were engaged to, and in the same paragraph go on about your love for another girl.

While you can have other friends when in love with one person, generally a deep love of that kind is only possible between you and one other person at a time.

Just my .02


_________________
Mean what you say, say what you mean -
The new golden rule in our household!
http://asdgestalt.com An Autism and psychology discussion forum.


sc
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,434
Location: Fortuna California

31 Mar 2006, 11:47 am

That is very unfortunate, I cannot really relate to it however.

I am sure it is something drastic of a feeling.



Fiz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,821
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom

31 Mar 2006, 3:24 pm

I'm sorry to hear this TigerFire, having been engaged myself in the past and breaking up from that, I know how hard it can be. What I suggest you do now is not think about having another relationship just yet, because if you have another one, whether you like it or not, your next one will be like a rebound relationship. Besides its too soon now. You have to figure out what you want and by the sounds of it you don't really know that yet. Its best to just take life a bit slower for the moment in order to suss everything out. Again, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your fiance. Take care.



larsenjw92286
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: Seattle, Washington

31 Mar 2006, 3:37 pm

Oh, my, gosh!

I am sorry to hear that!

I think you should have watched what you did in the past.


_________________
Jason Larsen
[email protected]


Keeno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,875
Location: Earth

31 Mar 2006, 4:03 pm

One thing I've learned about AS is that it's harder for us in breakups with fiances or boy/girlfriends, than it is for other people.

This is due to the intensity of our attachments. We need someone who can reciprocate our intense, attached love just as intensely.

TigerFire, I'm sorry to hear what happened, and commiserations. Hang on in there and stay strong.



TigerFire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,904
Location: Cave Spring GA USA

31 Mar 2006, 5:06 pm

Fiz wrote:
I'm sorry to hear this TigerFire, having been engaged myself in the past and breaking up from that, I know how hard it can be. What I suggest you do now is not think about having another relationship just yet, because if you have another one, whether you like it or not, your next one will be like a rebound relationship. Besides its too soon now. You have to figure out what you want and by the sounds of it you don't really know that yet. Its best to just take life a bit slower for the moment in order to suss everything out. Again, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your fiance. Take care.


Thanks Fiz. Thank you very much you don't know how much that means to me. Take care.


_________________
Beauty is in the eye of beholder but to a theif beauty is money.


TigerFire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,904
Location: Cave Spring GA USA

31 Mar 2006, 5:07 pm

Keeno wrote:
One thing I've learned about AS is that it's harder for us in breakups with fiances or boy/girlfriends, than it is for other people.

This is due to the intensity of our attachments. We need someone who can reciprocate our intense, attached love just as intensely.

TigerFire, I'm sorry to hear what happened, and commiserations. Hang on in there and stay strong.


I'll stay as strong as I can.


_________________
Beauty is in the eye of beholder but to a theif beauty is money.


ADoyle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Dec 2005
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 913
Location: Southern California, USA

05 Apr 2006, 9:14 pm

I've been there, but I'd say that a divorce is harder than breaking an engagement. Even breaking an engagement is tough, but a rebound relationship is a very bad idea. I find that the best thing to do is take a long break from dating, there's no rush to get involved so quickly.


_________________
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei