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ava777
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23 Jan 2013, 6:40 pm

She calls me everyday and I feel annoyed by it. She calls usally when I'm in "ritual mode" this further frustrates me. I think if she gave me a little space, then I would be able to deal with her a little bit better. She's the only real friend I have so I don't want to damage our relationship.

I tried giving excuses, returning phone calls a little later, all the typical NT stuff.
I feel like I'm walking on eggshells waiting for the phone to ring as soon as I wake up.

Thanks to anyone who read this.
What would you do if you were me and you had a friend like mine?



mereexistence
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23 Jan 2013, 8:20 pm

If she's your friend and you're close, open up with her and explain how you operate and how to work around your needs (while taking hers into account). It's possible that she's sensing your frustration anyway and will be thrilled to have an answer as to how to avoid triggering it.



ava777
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23 Jan 2013, 10:04 pm

Thanks...I'll try that first.



ava777
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24 Jan 2013, 3:55 am

The bigger issue is she passively manipulates me to try and adopt her beliefs. I don’t think she’s trying to be malicious about it, but regardless, I’ve been manipulated almost my whole life and I need at least one friend who accepts me just the way I am and trusts that they want me to have my own dreams and not theirs. She taught me everything on how to set boundaries and deal with as*holes at works.

Now I feel like I can’t even talk to her because she inserts her own opinions into conversations with the INTENT to try to pressure me to be someone I’m not.

That’s the heart of the reason I don’t want to talk to her on the phone everyday. It’s so hit and miss too. I can talk to her one day and she’s really supportive as long as I don’t talk about what I TRULY believe in. I listen to her Christian ideas and I have no problem listening, but screw me if I talk about GAY RIGHTS.

So I just need some distance, I could probably talk to her every other day. I don't how to put it in words, except that she's trying to change me into what she thinks is "RIGHT"



mereexistence
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24 Jan 2013, 8:39 am

It's possible that you're just incompatible. It's a very common thing to try to push your ideas on others, which is usually viewed as a "good" thing to do - it takes a certain amount of maturity to know how to hold back on that, but it's normal (and almost acceptable in society) for that level of maturity to be absent.



namaste
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25 Jan 2013, 12:28 pm

if you want to get rid of her talk abusively and degrade her she will get out of sight sooner or later

if you want her friendship then continue with the rut


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