Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Miyah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 741

12 Oct 2010, 2:27 pm

I recently went to a bridal shower over the weekend for a friend who is getting married as I am close and I will be one of the bride's maids. However, she has a friend who is also a bride's maid and she is a lot lower functioning than I am and is about 40 but has the mind of a 13 year old. She has the tendency to overreact to a lot of different things if she feels like someone isn't complimenting her when they notice other people. She has been known to pout like this for months at a time to year if you happen to do or say something that she doesn't like.

At the bridal shower, for example, she wanted to be the center of the universe as soon as I showed up and started sassing off at myself several times and to several of the ladies in the event. She also seemed to talk about her and never really gave my friend any compliments and talking about how she was going to get shut out once my friend got married. I had even offered to be her friend but she snapped and practically acted extremely rude and clicky which resulted in me leaving the room to cry.

The point that I would like to mention here is that I feel like I need to stand up for myself but I don't want to be harsh but firm at the same time since the rehersal dinner is in a few weeks and then the wedding is the next day where we have to get dressed, stand together, and even take photos for the wedding.

What should I say the next time she sasses off to me like that?



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,660
Location: Houston, Texas

12 Oct 2010, 2:58 pm

Miyah wrote:
. . . What should I say the next time she sasses off to me like that?

I'm thinking this must be kind of an Aussie expression, right?

Any chance you might be able to do the great turnaround and instead of getting angry finding it humorous, and appreciating her in the process ? ? (and being on standby to matter-of-factly coach her zero, one, or two times, but no more than that) (note: I can only very occasionally pull this off)



CanadianRose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Sep 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 564
Location: Canada

12 Oct 2010, 4:16 pm

As you are one of the bridemaids - I think it would be best if you concentrated on who's SUPPOSE to be the "center of the universe" on that day - THE BRIDE (okay - you all can concentrate on the groom too as it's also his "special day"). Really - the event is all about the bride and the bridesmaids are there to support her.

Anyways - keep reminding this to yourself as you are dealing with the bridesmaid from hell. "I'm here for my friend, the bride. I'm here for my friend, the bride...." If the bridesmaid from hell is getting extremely annoying or tetchy - take a deep breath and say to her, "I'm sensing some tension building, lets put aside our differences and concentrate on the bride and her needs - this is her special day."

Remember, keep breathing. Deep breaths. Salubrious oxygen is a good thing when dealing with a persnickety person, like the bridesmaid from hell. You don't want to have a reaction to her negativity and find yourself ready to cry as this will not look good in the wedding photos. When bridesmaid from hell is being unbearable, take a deep breath and keep saying, to yourself or out loud - "let's try to be calm and strong - we are here for the bride - it is her special day."

I hope that your bridesmaid dress is attractive, something that you can wear at another event and comfortable. (I have had HIDEOUS bridesmaid dresses that should be burned as soon as the wedding is over!!). I also hope that you catch the bouquet. Please refrain from beaning it against the bridesmaid from hell :lol: . Clutch it tightly and remember - "it's the brides special day ... I'm here for her...."



Miyah
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 741

13 Oct 2010, 1:28 pm

Oh yes they are great looking dresses and victorian looking mixed in the a 1950's look. I think I like that idea about telling this woman calmy that isn't about her or myself and it's all about the bride and the groom for that matter. The one who is getting married has been trying to reach this friend of hers but hasn't had any known luck in trying to get a hold of her so far.