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Jamesy
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29 Dec 2010, 9:34 pm

According to my brother i have zearo social skills.

What can I do from here :? There is always that nagging feeling in teh back of my head saying "You have got asperges socalising will be impossible for you so don't even bother trying"



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29 Dec 2010, 10:35 pm

I was told that coaching and training can help a lot, through the local organization, and that I should check it out. It's a developmental disorder, so I do know what you mean about the 'it won't get better' idea but Temple Grandin says never to give up on learning and improving...



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29 Dec 2010, 10:45 pm

There are plenty of illuminating articles on socialization on this site and elsewhere you can try understanding, so I wouldn't give up on being normal right away.

But something to keep in mind is that you will actually be better at socializing with people with similar interests because you are naturally more excited and knowledgeable about specific topics. There are sometimes not many of those people, but I find engineers to be the most understanding; I usually get along great with them. Join a club or something that is geared towards one of your interests.

If you can't act normal don't waste too much time with normal people (i.e. non-engineers non-interest group) unless you have to; when I talk to them they kind of treat me like a circus performer. They are amazed at me (how much stuff I know about different topics) but in the end I am still a freak to them.

This isn't to say that normal people are mean. Read the article on small talk; our lack of body language and expression triggers stress in them, so they avoid close relationships with us. It is a sad misunderstanding. Although, you could try practising socialising with them to see how normal you can come off as, just don't be disappointed when you think you are close to someone and you find out you actually aren't (this will happen to a lesser extent with the other groups).

Hope this helps.



Jamesy
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29 Dec 2010, 10:51 pm

jus cause i have poor social skills does not i am not normal



MidlifeAspie
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29 Dec 2010, 11:18 pm

Jamesy wrote:
jus cause i have poor social skills does not i am not normal


Who wants to be normal? 8)



Jamesy
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30 Dec 2010, 10:29 am

LOL true 8)