My neighbor thinks I am "high and mighty"...UGH!

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Tokiodarling21
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12 Jun 2011, 5:15 pm

So I was walking from my ride from church this afternoon when I noticed the neighbor's porch leaking (and since her cat was sitting in front of where she'd claimed to have been busying herself watering her plants (she looked like she was moving them to me) since I have bad depth perception, it looked like the cat was relieveing itself on the porch. I tried to reason with this woman about my concerns but she was giving me a rather surly attitude about it (and mind you this is a grown woman!) and said I was just looking for a reason to be "High and mighty". She only wanted praise on her gardening skills rather than a solution to a leaky porch because to a neat freak such as myself, I really don't enjoy having other people's belongings in my space. And also I didn't even intend to talk to her, she just showed up! I was going to pay my other neighbor a visit and ask him (nicely) if he used an ash tray when he smoked because his cigarettes get stuck in his porch (my overhang) and that can be a fire hazard if you're not careful!
I really felt embarrassed as this lady talked at me (I hardly got a word in because she was fussing at me over a puddle of water for crying out loud! :roll: ) she made me feel like the stupidest person on the face of this earth (or at least in the neighborhood) I hate that...UGH! :x



MollyTroubletail
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12 Jun 2011, 5:21 pm

Maybe it's not a good idea to keep giving your neighbours advice. People can get quite irritable about that. You may get called a "Know It All" and other such things. Sorry you had a bad day.



LostAlien
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12 Jun 2011, 5:43 pm

MollyTroubletail wrote:
Maybe it's not a good idea to keep giving your neighbours advice. People can get quite irritable about that. You may get called a "Know It All" and other such things. Sorry you had a bad day.

I agree about not giving advice, but I'll add an exception, unless it effects you. Does this leak effect where you live? Will it cause damage to your property? etc.

If it effects you, you have a reason to speak up, some people react badly to it though regardless of reason.

I'm also sorry that you had a bad day.


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CockneyRebel
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13 Jun 2011, 11:28 am

I agree that it's not a good advice to give advice, unless your neighbour asks for advice.


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jojobean
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17 Jun 2011, 4:05 am

that was rather rude on her part...I would not have been offended at all.

and we are supposed to be the socially inept ones....urggg the hypocracy!!


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17 Jun 2011, 4:22 am

Ah, I've found the trick with NTs is that they hate being corrected or given imperatives. You have to speak as indirectly as possible for example imperatives should be given as questions - "your car is in my drive way, move it." should be said as "Hey, would you be able to move your car out of my driveway?" I think it has to do with applying subtle social pressure by creating a situation where by not complying with your request they make themselves look rude. I don't know why it's more effective, but it is.


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catlover02
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17 Jun 2011, 12:54 pm

Tokiodarling21 wrote:
So I was walking from my ride from church this afternoon when I noticed the neighbor's porch leaking (and since her cat was sitting in front of where she'd claimed to have been busying herself watering her plants (she looked like she was moving them to me) since I have bad depth perception, it looked like the cat was relieveing itself on the porch. I tried to reason with this woman about my concerns but she was giving me a rather surly attitude about it (and mind you this is a grown woman!) and said I was just looking for a reason to be "High and mighty". She only wanted praise on her gardening skills rather than a solution to a leaky porch because to a neat freak such as myself, I really don't enjoy having other people's belongings in my space. And also I didn't even intend to talk to her, she just showed up! I was going to pay my other neighbor a visit and ask him (nicely) if he used an ash tray when he smoked because his cigarettes get stuck in his porch (my overhang) and that can be a fire hazard if you're not careful!
I really felt embarrassed as this lady talked at me (I hardly got a word in because she was fussing at me over a puddle of water for crying out loud! :roll: ) she made me feel like the stupidest person on the face of this earth (or at least in the neighborhood) I hate that...UGH! :x

hugssssssss. I am really sorry that you had a really bad day. :(