Social Skills Help vs. Social Interaction

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Kiki1256
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 815
Location: Somewhere...

09 Dec 2017, 9:52 am

I think the only true way to learn social skills is to actually interact. What do you think?



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,120

09 Dec 2017, 9:59 am

I think coaching is helpful, say from an NT spouse who knows exactly what sort of social clues you missed. As well as the NT context of the social situation.



Kiki1256
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 815
Location: Somewhere...

09 Dec 2017, 10:04 am

BTDT wrote:
I think coaching is helpful, say from an NT spouse who knows exactly what sort of social clues you missed. As well as the NT context of the social situation.


True. It is helpful. What I was saying was that coaching alone without actually interacting probably doesn’t help. It’s like going to the gym and eating a gallon of ice cream afterwards.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

10 Dec 2017, 12:50 am

Actual, real-life experience is essential. Kiki is right.

It's like the difference between playing a driving video game and actually driving on the road.



shortfatbalduglyman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,740

10 Dec 2017, 9:09 am

Kraftie Kortie

When adequately simulated, a driving video game could be, in some ways, good practice for driving

But sooner or later you need to drive on the road

There are limits to simulations, games, and training

Actually I used to imagine what it would be like to simulations social interactions

But in real life, sooner or later, someone has the nerve to tell me I did or said something bad or wrong

And they respond by, saying and doing things, that might appear grotesquely disproportionate

:D


The best case scenario is that both parties go holding hands skipping off into the sunset

The worst case scenario is subject to the other parties' imagination :cry:

Besides, what about when someone else say or does something I find bad or wrong :?:




:cry: :cry: :evil: :cry: :cry: :cry:


:mrgreen:



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,120

10 Dec 2017, 9:49 am

The problem with Aspies is they often don't know the rules of the road. You aren't going to get very far if you insist on driving on the wrong side of the road in many American cities. Learning what is socially acceptable to say and not say before opening your mouth will help you go a lot farther.

NTs get hints via body language when they are veering off where they shouldn't. Aspies don't get these clues and blindly go where they shouldn't.

What is socially acceptable is constantly changing. It doesn't matter as much to NTs who get social clues and can adapt instantly.



Kiki1256
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 815
Location: Somewhere...

11 Dec 2017, 9:09 pm

BTDT wrote:
The problem with Aspies is they often don't know the rules of the road. You aren't going to get very far if you insist on driving on the wrong side of the road in many American cities. Learning what is socially acceptable to say and not say before opening your mouth will help you go a lot farther.

NTs get hints via body language when they are veering off where they shouldn't. Aspies don't get these clues and blindly go where they shouldn't.

What is socially acceptable is constantly changing. It doesn't matter as much to NTs who get social clues and can adapt instantly.


That’s why it’s important to observe how people act.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

12 Dec 2017, 3:47 pm

Kiki1256 wrote:
I think the only true way to learn social skills is to actually interact. What do you think?


I don't know. I think you need to know what social cues are and what they look like to learn them. Some people do learn social skills by interacting while others need more help with it through therapy and being given social stories. Even children shows teach social skills too.

I also think you need to know what the rules are for social skills and for interacting and that starts with coaching or reading about them.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.