Aspies and Social Awkwardness v. Social Anxiety

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Do you experience social awkwardness or social anxiety?
I experience social awkwardness. 15%  15%  [ 19 ]
I experience social anxiety. 5%  5%  [ 6 ]
I experience both. 80%  80%  [ 99 ]
Total votes : 124

nick007
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03 Dec 2011, 5:44 pm

I had a lot of social anxiety as a kid & teen. I think some of it was due to bulling & other problems I had with others partly due to my social awkwardness & other disabilities I was born with that no one was really aware of & certainly did not understood. My social anxiety got a lot better after I started working. I worked 10months as a dishwasher & talking to cooks, servers, managers, other dishwashers, & also being near the atmosphere of others socializing helped me get a little comfortable. Then I worked at WalMart doing floor cleaning for 25months & after that I did custodial stuff for 3 months at a sporting goods store. I am still awkward but not nearly as much partly because I'm not that nervous. I'm still very quiet in social situations & I do feel anxious sometimes but it's a lot better than how it used to be


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zer0netgain
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05 Dec 2011, 9:03 am

I can see one leading to the other, but both can be independent of each other.

Socially awkward means you don't interact properly with others...but you can be very social in spite of it. Until you realize how badly you interact with others, you have no reason to start avoiding social situations or feeling stressed by them.

Social anxiety is just a fear of social situations. You might be completely "normal" around other people but find the interaction stressful or scarey.



AlbanyNY2015
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24 Oct 2015, 11:41 am

I have just been diagnosed as "Extremely High Functioning" Asperger's and, through online research (clinical and personal stories), I'm seeing figurative big, red, neon signs, with "THIS IS ME" all over them. In fact, I can also trace symptoms back as far as my mother, who we always knew was "off," but we were never sure why.

My question, I'm afraid, is a bit (possibly) convoluted, because I also suffer from OCD (obsessive thoughts) and ADHD, but even thought I've asked this of a therapist before, it's more important to me now, I think.

When I first requested a test a few years ago, I was denied because, "I presented too well," and the doctor basically brushed it off as "So what if you are?"

I have always considered myself an extrovert, outgoing, I've been told I'm approachable, I love social interaction. On the other hand, I (ashamed) tend to find people with a certain degree of social awkwardness difficult to deal with or understand, and I tend to get "annoyed," which is a feeling I don't like to have.

So, while I have been enjoying the freedom of my diagnosis for a week, I was struck by a terrifying thought last night (which prevented me from sleeping).

Is it possible that I "perceive" myself to be far more 'socially intune' than in fact, I am? Meaning, do "I" think I'm doing fine, but people around me are reading, "Whoa! What's up with her?" Normally, I would assume I was just being sort of 'paranoid,' which is common, but once before, I asked a therapist to prove that I wasn't a psychiatric patient sitting comatose in a ward somewhere, and this "life" I was leading wasn't a figment of my imagination.

The reason I ask (among others) is that my mother *clearly* did not know that she didn't fit in, and I never understood how someone could be that "clueless." But now, I'm wondering if I am, too.

My therapist's only answer (to my question about the psych patient) was, "So what if it is?" And she has verified that I'm not crazy. (sigh)

So, am I alone in this type of cognitive ir(rational) reasoning?



AnonymousAnonymous
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26 Oct 2015, 6:17 pm

I experience both. Whenever my mom forces me to be social, I know this will cause my anxiety to increase and in turn, I feel that I will embarass myself by being socially awkward, therefore social situations I try to avoid.


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AlbanyNY2015
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26 Oct 2015, 6:32 pm

My therapist assured me today, that I don't "present" with the outward appearance of most Aspies, but suggested it was because my Mother, who we think was more socially-awkward, modeled behavior which I learned was not effective.

The therapist opined that I "overcame" Mom's shortcomings by learning to navigate the world, but that the processing/reasoning difficulties are my internal struggle, because I hide most of my outward anxiety behind laughter and sarcasm.

She also referenced The Big Bang Theory, and told me I had all the "good" traits about all of the characters, but not all the "obvious" traits would necessarily be found in one person. She said, "you are sort of what Sheldon would be like if he were human, and funny."

This diagnosis is actually a relief, but I'm still dealing with a lot of issues (such as OCD & ADHD) and we don't have a definite "diagnostic" result yet, other than it's "positive."



izzeme
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28 Oct 2015, 7:24 am

Both.

I am quite socially awkward indeed, and this is the cause of my social anxiety.
I have been bullied over my social differences my entire youth, so i am very much afraid to let those differences show nowadays: i don't want to be labeled "the weirdo" again.

I am aware that this is irrational as adults are not as bad as teens and adolescents, but it's just like a fear of open spaces, enclosed spaces, speaking in public... all of them are irrational, most sufferers know this, but they still experience the fear...



Varelse
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29 Oct 2015, 3:53 pm

I've got both, and I think they kind of feed each other. Anxiety leads to awkwardness, and awkwardness leads to discouraging social feedback (or avoidance) and it just builds on itself in a closed loop that can be hard to adjust.



Malaise
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04 Nov 2015, 4:24 pm

Social awkwardness has been an on-again, off-again problem. This didn't matter much when I was very young, as there weren't a lot of strict norms in kindergarten, but it eventually became a problem and I eventually learned to not draw attention. Still, I'm not and will probably never be charismatic, impressive, or popular. The most I can do is hope it comes across as unpretentious or that people assume glasses and strangeness mean I'm some kind of secret, absent-minded genius (I'm not).

Social anxiety I eventually developed due to bad experiences and just not understanding very well, but it's gone way down the past few years.



existentialterror
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09 Nov 2015, 4:25 pm

Experience both. Being so awkward makes me EXTREMELY anxious.



goatfish57
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12 Nov 2015, 8:12 am

Both, I have tried all types of coping techniques when I am out in public. But in the end, I come home exhausted, confused and frustrated.


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Butterfly88
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13 Nov 2015, 12:44 pm

I experience both but the anxiety bothers me much more than the awkwardness. If I'm awkward and people think I'm weird, that's their problem. But the social anxiety makes it very hard to meet people.



sport
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08 Apr 2020, 9:29 am

I have both and my dad would get on me if I said too much.He was of the [real] old school better to be seen and not heard.



rick42
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08 Apr 2020, 11:22 am

I experience both.My Social Awkwardness has led to no one accepting me and has prevented me from even finding dates,which created social anxiety.Due to my Social Anxiety,I have pretty much stopped bothering even trying to initiate conversations with other people within the last couple of years.



sport
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08 Apr 2020, 12:11 pm

I was so lucky to find a great person the 2nd time.She has to put up with my problems but having a high IQ she can make things work for the better.



zenaspie
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09 Apr 2020, 8:00 pm

I think social anxiety is mainly the fear of being judged, feeling not good enough. I think people with social anxiety can form conversations and can catch up clues and have NT thought patterns. Both can happen, I have #2 6 years now but before I got it, I know I couldn’t understand how to have Contact with other peers. You can get misdiagnosed pretty easily. :?: