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keono
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03 Apr 2015, 10:54 pm

I've always been... weird. That's according to my peers, anyway. I'm hyper intelligent, according to iq tests done by psychologists (a private school I attended, needed them to be done in order to get financial assistance) by the order of the fourth standard deviation.

I was told I have rage issues. I always have. But... I only rage when my routine/task is interrupted. I rock myself to calm.

Music helps me sleep. Rock music... techno... dub step...

I have watched people for hundreds of hours in malls, and learned how to fit in and react I'm small social gatherings. Good God, keep me away from a crowd.

I am told I over analyze EVERYTHING. I mean like, once is a coincidence, twice is a pattern, third time is a law.

I've got undiagnosed dyslexia, I read a single sentence about seven times and average out what it said, in the time it takes someone to read one sentence.

I'm over emotional, according to my old friend (who I had to leave to continue my job).

I think I'm am asperger guy. I took the tests online, yeah, yeah... but I took them. 177/200 neurodiverse.

Here's where I need advice. I figure if you're still reading after all of that, you may actually care... I told my wife I might be an aspie, and she says, "don't jump to conclusions, she's sure there's nothing wrong with (me)."

I'm afraid that if I'm diagnosed, she will, as she put it, think there's, something "wrong with me"

And I'm not sure if I should even get tested. What benefit would that label give me? I'm certain I'm an aspie. I literally tell people I was born on the wrong planet, then I found this site...

Please help after your eyes stop bleeding from my long post?



the_phoenix
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03 Apr 2015, 11:10 pm

You're married? That's pretty good.
As for me, I'm undiagnosed
and think I'll keep it that way.
I'm glad that when I was a kid,
the only label they put on me was "gifted."

...


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keono
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03 Apr 2015, 11:28 pm

The only legal label I had was the high IQ, however, all the pieces fit. My latest knowledge binge is on aspies... and I fit into the categories. I can think of a hundred unique times when I'm out, see someone close, and I won't even recognize them. My own grandfather! Whom I lived with! I thought I was crazy. The media portrays asperger's like it's a ret*d (medical definition) kid in a pile of math books... yeah, I teach math... but it's not like that.



Kiprobalhato
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07 Apr 2015, 11:44 pm

there's nothing wrong with your post. how long have you been married? i think you'd really do good to explain and tell your wife why you believe you'd be on the spectrum, and what that spectrum is if she doesn't already know, there's a great chance she'll understand you better. clearly whatever else may be 'wrong' with you doesn't bug her too much since she married you...

Quote:
And I'm not sure if I should even get tested. What benefit would that label give me?


hm, a formal diagnosis can help you receive services or accommodations - if you would ever need or want them. security. personally, i had no part in my own diagnosis so i can't tell you about living before then..


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keono
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08 Apr 2015, 6:49 pm

I'm not very skilled at predicting her reactions, perhaps that's why I married her. We've been married since 2011. I'll do that. wish me luck



will@rd
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08 Apr 2015, 7:11 pm

keono wrote:
I'm afraid that if I'm diagnosed, she will, as she put it, think there's, something "wrong with me"


:lol: If you have autism, there is something wrong with you. If that's the case, you've been dealing with specific handicaps all your life, they just didn't have a name before - you may have heard them referred to as "Why can't you just be like everybody else?" and "You could do whatever you set your mind to if you'd just try harder," or maybe "What the f**k is wrong with you?"

If any of those phrases are painfully familiar to you, you've already received society's diagnosis. Personally, I find the paper one from the psychologist far less degrading.


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MjrMajorMajor
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08 Apr 2015, 8:31 pm

I don't think that seeking labels is for an excuse, but many seem to equal that with a cop out. Labels are shorthand for understanding, and distilling experiences to workable medium. It may not be that something's wrong in all cases, but that there are differences that need to be acknowledged.

Some people do feel that difference=bad. If someone values conformity above all, then it might be a good time to evaluate shared values.



keono
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08 Apr 2015, 9:24 pm

:idea:

will@rd wrote:

"Why can't you just be like everybody else?" and "You could do whatever you set your mind to if you'd just try harder."

Yes to these... repeatedly. I was told by my guidance counselor in high school, "if you try really hard, you might be able to become a manager at McDonald's" I had a 3.94gpa in college. I know it was low, but I had a major argument with my world lit English teacher, as there was NOTHING wrong with my final essay. Lady have me a "c" because I disagreed with her. I teach math now...

Sorry.