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Fosf
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15 May 2007, 2:59 pm

I'm bad at making new friends, and I think it's mostly because I find the most people just plain boring. So I have no interest to see them and talk to them. This is quite problematic, because sometimes I feel like making new friends, but I'm not interested in anyone. I usually get along with my old friends, but sometimes I feel like there is nothing left to talk with them.

Does anyone of you have the same problem?



Tim_Tex
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15 May 2007, 3:02 pm

I've had that problem before, but I don't currently have that problem.

Tim


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willem
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15 May 2007, 3:14 pm

I do not have that problem. Why do you want to make new friends if you're going to be bored by them? There's also an element of interest in the person involved here (or lack of such interest). If someone is your friend, then it will happen that the topic of conversation isn't always interesting to you in & by itself, but because it's important to your friend it's nevertheless worthwhile to talk with him or her about it, or at least lend a listening ear.


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Kosmonaut
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15 May 2007, 3:22 pm

that's why they invented sex. something to do when you run out of things to say.



IcelandicGuy
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15 May 2007, 3:25 pm

I have this problem too, I sometimes feel like I have no interest in meeting other people but of course I have no interest in being a "loner" either.



Sopho
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15 May 2007, 3:31 pm

People are incredibly boring. Talking to myself is much more interesting than any conversation I could have with a human.



girl7000
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15 May 2007, 3:36 pm

It's difficult because some people, like NTs tend to do the 'small talk' thing or tend to speak very generally and vaguely about a lot of topics and I prefer more focused conversations and ones that have a definite end and beginning.

I think for me it is that I get bored of certain behaviours or methods of conversing rather than people themselves - although often the 2 go together!

I also prefer email and (sometimes) phone to interacting in person.



Fosf
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15 May 2007, 3:37 pm

willem wrote:
Why do you want to make new friends if you're going to be bored by them?


I'm always hoping I had interest in people, because there are still some certain people I like very much, and I know there must be more people I would be interested in. I'm too critical, I know... :?



Mitch8817
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15 May 2007, 3:42 pm

Don't expect so much of them and you won't get as bored.


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cecilfienkelstien
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15 May 2007, 3:43 pm

Sopho wrote:
People are incredibly boring. Talking to myself is much more interesting than any conversation I could have with a human.

:D Thats me too. I always have time to listen to myself talk. I find NeuroTypicals to be boring, and I quickly run out of things to say to them. But as far as aspies go. I never tire of what they have to say!



Sopho
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15 May 2007, 3:43 pm

I expect f**k all and I still get bored. :)



Mitch8817
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15 May 2007, 3:47 pm

Sopho wrote:
I expect f**k all and I still get bored. :)


haha :? They must be really boring where you are.


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Starbuline
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15 May 2007, 4:07 pm

I get bored of people easily.



blacktext
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15 May 2007, 5:21 pm

I find myself more disappointed than bored. A very simple friendship is perfectly fine with me. I don't expect to be entertained by my friends. However, I often become disappointed.

For example I'll make a smart friend only to find out they're a right-wing fascist; maybe meet someone who is very kind only to find that they're a religious fundamentalist; get to know a person who's legitimately funny - but they abuse drugs; etc.


From my observation most people overlook core red flags if they really enjoy one aspect of a person. Not being social I find it nearly impossible to do this. Nor do I want to change what I'm willing to accept.



skahthic
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16 May 2007, 1:10 am

I have people that i guess i call "friends", people that i've met outdoors and stuff. But i don't feel like talking to them or seeing them really. If i happen to see them when i'm out then it's ok. I don't feel much in common with most of them. I can't imagine spending a whole day with most people--- I'd go bonkers! There's a few close friends I have, and these are the ones that have lasted the test of time--- i've known them for years and they are real and accepting and also on the odd sides of life. There is also my boyfriend, who took the online Aspie test today and he came up as "most likely an Aspie". go figure. Maybe that's why we get along so well...
Most people, I'm afraid, just don't hold my interest and/or do things I think are not "friend-like".



Aysmptotes
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16 May 2007, 1:46 am

I would like friends but the people that I can't relate to more and talk to better are all like 30 to 50 year old men. I know that sounds odd that a 19 year old girl can have a better conversation with a 30 year old guy with a wife and kids than with her own peer group, but it is a strange relatity. I meet these people who go back to college and I take classes with them, but nothing outside of the class room since that is socially unacceptable, and I am not good at maintaining friendships outside of the original context. But at least I have someone to talk too.

But my own peer group, I just can't understand them sometimes. Talking about the most mundane things like shoes, manicures, who's hot, who's a b***h, all that crap. I can never have a conversation like that.

skahthic wrote:
There is also my boyfriend, who took the online Aspie test today and he came up as "most likely an Aspie". go figure. Maybe that's why we get along so well...


Yeah my boyfriend has quite a few aspie traits as well and I tease him about it. I think why we get along so well. We both share an reluctance for interacting with people, although he is much better at it, he understands when I am uncomfortable and automatically knew what situations I don't want to be in. Like I found out for quite some times that his father has been wanting to have lunch with me for quite some time, but he has said no for me without telling me about the situation. And I am so thankful. And ironically his father is a counselor for people with autism. haha. So thank god for aspie boyfriends.