I can stand up for myself easier when texting/emailing

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Joe90
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Joined: 23 Feb 2010
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08 May 2012, 6:02 am

I always have difficulty standing up for myself. But I find it much easier through text or email. I can think of exactly the right things to say, and often I can be pretty convincing and the other person normally feels guilty and goes all apologetic, so I must have the standing up for myself skill in me somewhere, but I have colossal difficulties verbalizing it in front of people.

When my ex-boyfriend sent me an angry text message claiming I was seen holding hands with another man in the town (which I wasn't but I always get accused of things I don't do), I sent a message back saying that I honestly did not hold hands with another man in the town. For about two or three days after that we sent countless texts to eachother arguing about it, but I was good, I stood my ground well, and I didn't get too aggressive nor too soft. But, come to think of it, we've had a lot of arguments over texts, but we've never actually verbalised an argument to eachother, so maybe he's not good at standing up for himself either, although he's probably better at me because I have ZERO self esteem.

Does anyone else find standing up for yourself through email or text far easier than to someone's face?


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feddup
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Joined: 27 Mar 2012
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08 May 2012, 6:54 am

Texting seem to have VIP access to my gut. Yes, I to have much easier expressing myself through text. Honestly, I think it is so for everyone regardless of condition. We are educated in internet anonymousness. Millions of people spilling ther gut in ways they would never do normally.

The difference is for me at least. I can participate in high standard texting., but I can't even explain myself on simple things for family and friends when talking with them. It is something I think a lot of and don't have definite answers to.

"Texting-Cure" is a known phrase.

Self-Esteem is one thing. I do not think that is what stopping me. The high amount of influences gained while in social situations have antennas captivated so throughly there are very little left for verbal conversation. Most of the energy is used for observing.

Simple test like. How many times do you read over your text before you apply/send? Texting allow for perfection, planning and full focus. Elements you would want in a verbal situation, but don't have.

Other elements like fear for exposing your fragile self-esteem or fear for exposing a very rich mind. Automatically put loads of strains on you in verbal communication, you do not want to disappoint.

There are many explanations and theories. Only good cure I have found is the advice: Free yourself and give a damn what others think.

Helps a little, but there are groundbreaking problems. Such as the internal need for planning. :wink: