Why are other aspies so judgemental and rude to me

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Heathie123
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14 May 2016, 5:34 am

Hello Everyone;
Any time i try and befriend a fellow aspie i am met with a barrage of judgement and rudeness.
This presents in ways such as "Dont use your aspergers as an excuse for being annoying, i wasnt allowed to" or "if you want friends you need to just learn how to behave like everyone else" or "just because we both have aspergers doesnt mean we need to be friends".

Why are you all like that? :'(


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14 May 2016, 7:49 am

It's called "Being Direct, Truthful, and Up-Front".

Some of us can't help but to to be blunt with our words. Some of us feel that political correctness is deceitful and dishonest. Some of us try to lay down the rules before they get broken. There is a lot of overlap between these groups.

Likely it's nothing personal.


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Welshe
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14 May 2016, 8:13 am

I have met other aspies that are not like this but i do admit i have met my fair share of those and it never lasts :|



spinelli
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14 May 2016, 9:28 am

These people could just be posers.



AspieUtah
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14 May 2016, 9:41 am

Heathie123 wrote:
Hello Everyone;
Any time i try and befriend a fellow aspie i am met with a barrage of judgement and rudeness.
This presents in ways such as "Dont use your aspergers as an excuse for being annoying, i wasnt allowed to" or "if you want friends you need to just learn how to behave like everyone else" or "just because we both have aspergers doesnt mean we need to be friends".

Why are you all like that? :'(

Ignore them and move on to those who don't have or exhibit such judgment and rudeness. There are plenty of autists in the world. I don't waste my time with those who treat me in such a way.


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14 May 2016, 12:02 pm

Heathie123 wrote:
Hello Everyone;
Any time i try and befriend a fellow aspie i am met with a barrage of judgement and rudeness.
This presents in ways such as "Dont use your aspergers as an excuse for being annoying, i wasnt allowed to" or "if you want friends you need to just learn how to behave like everyone else" or "just because we both have aspergers doesnt mean we need to be friends".

Why are you all like that? :'(



I don't know what you are like and why those things were said to you so I can't really give you an accurate answer.


Aspies are normal people too. They have thoughts and feelings and dreams and opinions just like everyone else. They can also be bigots, prejudice, judgmental just like anyone else. You are not going to get along with every aspie and have things in common with every aspie. Not every aspie is going to understand you. They also have pet peeves just like anyone else and also get annoyed just like anyone else. It's like with NTs too, not all of them will get along and stand each other or like each other because they are also all different too just like us. Neither two NTs need to be friends just because neither of them are on the autistic spectrum.


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nick007
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14 May 2016, 10:34 pm

Maybe those Aspies are just jerks/aHoles. I know there's plenty of Aspies on this forum who would love a friend including me if you wanted to message some to have a penpall or whatever.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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15 May 2016, 12:46 am

Heathie123 wrote:
Hello Everyone;
Any time i try and befriend a fellow aspie i am met with a barrage of judgement and rudeness.
This presents in ways such as "Dont use your aspergers as an excuse for being annoying, i wasnt allowed to" or "if you want friends you need to just learn how to behave like everyone else" or "just because we both have aspergers doesnt mean we need to be friends".

Why are you all like that? :'(

Because those people are what I call "dicks". Being an aspie doesn't automatically make someone an intolerant dick, but unfortunately, it doesn't prevent someone from being one either.

My advice? Don't give up. You can find friends in the most unexpected places. WP is a good place to start though, as it's generally easy to weed out the good from the bad here.


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Summer_Twilight
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15 May 2016, 10:35 am

Don't take it personally people with Asperger's are often straight forward along with having poor people skills. Other times they have can have a lack of empathy so maybe it's why you are having a hard time communicating with them.



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15 May 2016, 10:54 am

You have any potential combination of recipients who may be over-sensitive to input/feedback/etc., critics who go over-board in their disdain for anything that does not conform to their tastes/beliefs/prejudices/dogmas/etc., people who lack experience in dealing with the skeptics/critics/debunkers/disinformation-agents/misinformation-agents/mental-disturbed/etc., people who are unable to control their thoughts/emotions, and of course, most people in this world have not yet learned the importance of laying down their mace (whether verbal or material).

You might also just be dealing with teenagers or pre-teen individuals rather than adults. Ultimately, the determining factor as to one's level of aggression is in how much they are infected at the psychological/molecular-level by aggression-particles, similarly to how individuals tend to have rather abnormal-behaviours when intoxicated by drugs or alcohol. Just pass it off as them being under the influence of phenomenon that the people of ancient cultures may have called spirit-possession (but now I have figured out how to explain the phenomenon without using archaic/paranormal-vocabulary).


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27 May 2016, 9:46 am

I was diagnosed late(19) so that stuff about "wasn't allowed to act this and that kinda way" didn't really apply to me. But I do think that if someone does some kinda thing that they shouldn't blame it on autism all the time. Many times I don't know stuff and other times I do know stuff and just don't care. But if ever I'm reprimanded on something I never say "oh well I'm autistic so you know I don't pick up on these things". I would be telling the truth if I did say so but I don't think I should make excuses if I'm wrong.



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05 Jul 2016, 9:23 am

Heathie123 wrote:
Hello Everyone;
Any time i try and befriend a fellow aspie i am met with a barrage of judgement and rudeness.
This presents in ways such as "Dont use your aspergers as an excuse for being annoying, i wasnt allowed to" or "if you want friends you need to just learn how to behave like everyone else" or "just because we both have aspergers doesnt mean we need to be friends".

Why are you all like that?
First, we are not ALL like that. Some of us simply see political correctness as both deceitful and a waste of effort.

Second, a person may say, "Don't use your Asperger's as an excuse for being annoying" because they may think that you are being annoying, that you are using your Asperger's to excuse your annoying behavior, and that they may feel this way regardless of whether or not they were allowed to get away with being annoying themselves.

Third, a person may say, "If you want friends, then you need to learn how to behave like everyone else" because they may think that your behavior is so "out there" that you drive potential friends away.

Fourth, a person may say, "Just because we both have Asperger's doesn't mean we need to be friends" simply because it's the truth. There is no imperative to be friends with anyone for any reason. People are friends because of, or in spite of, both their differences and their similarities, so just because you want to be friends with someone places no onus upon them to reciprocate.

Fifth, "rudeness" is in the mind of the recipient. Making eye contact is rude to some people. Others believe that being asked "Are you okay?" is rude. Still others think that it's rude to go un-noticed in a crowd. Maybe the people you think of as rude and judgmental don't intend to be that way - maybe they are sincerely trying to be helpful.

Finally, I don't know you, so I could be completely wrong about any or all of this. I don't know your "friends", either. This whole concept of "relationships" is as baffling to me as the IRS tax code, so maybe you should just ignore everything I've said in this post.