Do you ignore people whom you're mad at?

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frohman2
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25 Apr 2009, 9:11 pm

Depends for me...



Filip
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26 Apr 2009, 3:36 am

poopylungstuffing wrote:
I frequently ignore people I am angry with..often because I don't know how else to deal with them....the problem is that sometimes it is difficult to stop ignoring them. As a result, there are some people I have continued to ignore for years...Often I am not particularly angry with them anymore...I just can't break the cycle. It might be increased in instances where there is a mutual disagreement and they ignore you as well.


That's so totally me. I ignore them for a very long time I can't break the circle anymore. Sometimes I even don't remember anymore why I am mad. And yes, I think I ignore them because I don't know how to fight and make up afterwards.

It's not the right way to do so and not very healthy, but I can't act differently.



CaptainTrips222
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26 Apr 2009, 11:08 pm

This topic caught my eye, and is very interesting. Basically, yes, I ignore people I'm angry with. Sometimes because I feel they've ignored me first, or don't think very highly of me, and I can't figure out why, so I just blow them off and look the other way to spite them. Sometimes it's because I can't get over something they did, and use silent treatment as a punishment because the time for appropriate retribution has long passed.

Funny thing is, that's when they decide to come around and try to be cool. It's like they can dish it out, but can't take it. And usually I just keep ignoring them, because my attitude goes something like this, "You've had your chance."



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27 Apr 2009, 8:28 am

i ignore people i'm mad at.after the massive argument and nearly coming to blows :lol:


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29 Apr 2009, 11:01 pm

I ignore people, although I think it's better to try to work it out with them if you can, because after so long, it can really drain you mentally. Some say it is a form of emotional abuse, but I try to do this only when someone did something truly deserving, or when nothing else works.

I think our black and white thinking, obsessive thoughts, and long memories play a big part in this.



mikebw
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30 Apr 2009, 12:00 am

No, I'm non-discriminating. I ignore everyone equally.


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zee
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30 Apr 2009, 11:23 am

Yes. Sometimes I try to resolve the issues at first, but it never seems to work out, so I just start ignoring them because I don't know what else to do.



iMark
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30 Apr 2009, 12:11 pm

do i ignore people that i am mad at?

yes, but only insofar as friendly social interaction. otherwise i keep it civil businesslike and concise with no idle chatter gossip or personal interest at all. this way there can be no complaints about attitude harassment or insult.

they do complain that i am cold and impersonal but that always seems to be what they wanted in the first place.

why do people complain when they get what they ask for?



llama123
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01 May 2009, 4:25 am

no but for an person with asperges and autism its difficult to do something else



misswoofalot
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01 May 2009, 7:57 am

I definately ignore people when I'm angry and they have hurt or upset me, especially if I'm not that close to them. I refuse to talk to people just for the sake of keeping the peace. I keep a dignified silence. Alternatively, if it's my family I tell them exactly what I think most of the time.



pbcoll
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01 May 2009, 9:16 am

I think whether it's the best approach or not depends on the specifics of the case - whether it's an honest disagreemen, a mistake or a deliberate insult, for example, or whether we're talking about close friends or mere acquaintances, etc. In my experience, the only way to deal with schoolyard bullies is to hit back, but with friends reconciliations are often possible and desirable. With acquaintances, I do tend to just ignore those I'm angry with - I do basic politeness like replying if they greet me first, but cut any small talk short; any conversation is strictly business.


CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Funny thing is, that's when they decide to come around and try to be cool. It's like they can dish it out, but can't take it. And usually I just keep ignoring them, because my attitude goes something like this, "You've had your chance."


I've had the same happen to me, and have done the same, for the same reasons. With one girl who stopped talking to me out of the blue, some time after I also stopped even greeting her, she started to talk to me again (I'm civil to her but cut conversations short) and even invited me for her birthday drinks (an invitation that I simply didn't reply to and didn't go to, without excuses or explanations). Another girl, she did essentially the same (only that she still expected my help), and I gave her a similar treatment, acting as cold and aloof towards her as I possibly could. Now she's being extra friendly - but I'm simply not interested any more, as far as I'm concerned she's shown herself to not be worth the trouble.
Essentially, if I judge it to be deliberate insult, and not a social mistake, I won't forgive it - my criterion being that if it's something I wouldn't do as a mistake, and the person appears to have normal social skills, then it's a deliberate insult. I don't want revenge (see my sig), but if I don't like you any more, why would I not avoid you? However, this may not be the best approach, maybe a more confrontational (but still calm) one would be better.


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diana62
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02 May 2009, 4:57 pm

I maintain a cold silence that can last for a long time. If no apology is forthcoming,
then I burn bridges. If by chance, I see this person I am mad at socially, I am civil but cold.