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ladybumble
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Tue Jan 11, 2011 6:55 am

Hello there

i just wanted some advice regarding my children

First my Daughter she is age 8, from around age 4 when she started nursery class at school we realized there was a problem as she had her shoes taken off her in the first week and we were pulled in most days regarding behavior, we put this down to the move from nursery to school nursery where it was more structured but then in September when she started full time in the reception class her behavior was worse, she hit children, refused to do work, fidgeted, etc and at home would scream for upto an hour if we sat with a book (her homework) and asked her to read it. slowly she became known as a bully etc and we were called in most days at the school but the teacher explained that she wasn't bullying she was simply getting frustrated and lashing out. my daughter attended this school till in middle of year 1 then we removed her as communication broke down with the school as they started threatening us over her behavior and making her sit in the heads office for long periods of time and stopped telling us about her behavior then ambushed us 6 months later with a huge file of incidents. we moved her to a new school and thought it was all behind us as she behaved but slowly things started to happen and we were called in again about her being silly (the class clown) not listening, disrupting the class and hitting children. we have since moved area and schools again and her teacher in y2 said she was a strict teacher but even she had difficulty keeping my daughter in check and there were incidents in the playground so the school wrote a letter to the gp and she was referred to a specialist and has had an assessment for ADHD and we have filled in questionnaires and are awaiting the results. Last year in y2 my daughter's behavior at home was really bad. hitting herself, pulling her hair out, running out of the house into the road and expressing she wishes to die and not going to sleep till late and hurting her brother alot. since being in y3 with a different teacher she has calmed down quite abit but still has silly moments at home and still hits her brother when she gets annoyed and we still have to encourage her quite alot to do homework and anything academic.

she also would rather lie than tell the truth, steals or is sneaky and likes to pour her drinks into toy things to drink out of making a mess, she seems immature and has difficulty explaining things when talking or on paper and especially on paper at school she tends to be repetitive or miss out key information and likes to rush her work and doesn't care if it looks messy. and doesn't seem to take pride in her appearance either and very talkative in class and to people she barely knows rabbiting on about things not letting the other person answer or will tell me something she did in class but go on so much it becomes a lie

what do you think?


My son is 6 he has from birth been a difficult child but it is only now that we are looking at his behavior because we have been preoccupied with his sister/

from birth he demanded my attention didn't like me leaving him even for a second, i also noticed then we he could talk from age 15 months he became quite shy and would only talk to me, his sister and sometimes his dad but no-one else unless he really got to know them and even then he still didn't always, the children down the street didn't think he could talk even when he reached the age of 3 and if he ran away(got lost) in a supermarket he wouldn't talk to the staff, from age 2 1/2 to 4 1/2 he hated walking anywhere even when we drove to the town and just walked from the carpark to the shops and would whin, scream, refuse to walk etc,
when he started school at 4 we were told he was excluded from some activities because when he had a fight/argument with another child he would refuse to talk and tell his side of the story effectively going mute, he moved house and school with his sister and there doesn't seem to be any issues with muteness.

but my son's behavior has gotten worse he started soiling himself from age 3 and 3 years later has been diagnosed with chronic constipation but we have been told it is behavioral and self inflicted as he refuses to listen to his bowels when he needs to go and has to be told daily to sit on the loo and given medication to keep him regular. He has always been stubborn about dressing himself, eating things he doesn't want etc and he now has become very rude swearing when he gets told off or annoyed, saying he didn't do anything and not taking responsibility for his actions, he never used to lie but it is becoming more frequent, he has stepped up his annoying of his sister to the point that when she hits him he will stamp his feet and scream but not admit he was in the wrong or just annoy her constantly. when we go to town as soon as my husband goes to a different shop he will run all over and get told off by the staff for climbing the wrong way up escalators and knocking clothes off rails etc and laugh when i tell him off and not listen ( doesn't help that his sister does them same) then when my husband is back he will take my son's hand and my son will scream and get annoyed because he is holding his hand and be rude etc.

when i took him to my gp about his behavior my son refused to look or talk to the doctor but instead touched everything, jumped on the examining table, switched the fan on and off and generally made a nuisance of himself. He is fine at school as far as i know, the teacher has said he is bright and is doing really well with reading and spelling and already on books higher stages than his sister at that age as she refused to read them although she is doing well now.
the teacher did mention that he sometimes doesn't concentrate and can be silly especially when he plays with a certain boy but otherwise he is ok at school but at home or out and about he is a real handful and defiant



MidlifeAspie
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Tue Jan 11, 2011 11:04 am

Sounds like you need to discuss your concerns with your pediatrician.



WorldsEdge
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Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:06 pm

You might want to ask over at ADDForums.com (link). They've got several sub-forums on parenting and the diagnosing of children, with some quite knowledgeable members. I've got a diagnosis of ADHD-Primarily Inattentive (link) to go along with my ASD, and I lurk over there sometimes. The site is not as active as WP, but assuming you get responses they'll probably be good ones.

Quote:
Sounds like you need to discuss your concerns with your pediatrician.


I agree that playing doctor over the Internet can be hazardous to all involved, but we were personally burned by our first pediatrician, so I gotta chime in on this one. He was a nice guy and I have no doubt he had our son's interests at heart, but as a former Air Force doctor and decidedly "old-school" in his approach, he was still pushing the "boys talk late" mantra on us when at age 2 our son had a vocabulary of about eight words, if that, and those only spoken as single words. Screaming fits that could run for hours were proof that he had "healthy lungs." :roll:

We were dumb enough to go along, since he's our only child and we figured he knew best. Things didn't change until we moved out of state and took him to his new pediatrician for the first time. After about thirty seconds with him, the new pediatrician ticked off a huge list of developmental delays he'd already spotted and said he was comfortable diagnosing PDD-NOS right then and there, and that our son would definitely have to be evaluated for autism...Sorry, I'll get off my soap box and shut up before I run on for 3000 more words. :P

Anyway, by all means, they should discuss the matter. But if what they're hearing is bromides and nothing that meets the issues head-on, I'd start -- as respectfully as I could -- expressing disagreement and asking for either referrals to experts in this area or the possibility of a second opinion from another pediatrician.


_________________
"The man who has fed the chicken every day throughout its life at last wrings its neck instead, showing that more refined views as to the uniformity of nature would have been useful to the chicken." ? Bertrand Russell


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