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fiddlerpianist
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08 Jun 2009, 9:06 am

Here's a thread for those of us who feel we are only mildly on the autistic spectrum.

Basically, explain why you feel that way. Say if you are diagnosed or self-diagnosed. Here is my story.

I am self-diagnosed, though I think I gravitate towards the term "self-discovered." For awhile, I kept going back and forth between being convinced I "had" AS and convinced I didn't. None of my traits are really stereotypically indicative of AS. My presentation, for instance, while different, is not at all "flat." I suspect that's due to my love affair with sound and my intrinsic ability to imitate. However, I often have volume problems (I talk much louder when I'm excited about something), I pace when I talk or lecture (apparently this is a form of stimming), and I often speak in funny accents without really meaning to. I suspect that some of my voice inflections are almost caricatured at times.

I also have no history of depression or anxiety, conditions to which people with AS are extremely prone. I do know that I have always been a very positive person. I was always a weird child growing up (my mother insisted on the term "unique"), yet I had a ton of support from my parents and teachers. I suspect I was given a lot more leeway to be individualistic on account of me being a markedly talented musician. I have also more recently suspected that I am much more extraverted than I previously realized. Supposedly extraverts are much less susceptible to anxiety and depression, at least in modern Western culture.

I don't think my special interests are particularly stereotypical, either, yet I have learned here on WP how widely those can vary. Growing up, mine were broader than, say, learning everything about a particular narrow subject. My two interests were maps and sound. I would sit in my room for hours and hours and draw maps of imaginary lands, or I would sit in front of the tape recorder and just sing into it. I wasn't in the science or history of either of these, though... just the quality and experience of them.

I don't know if I've ever had a meltdown. I probably did as a kid once or twice, but it wasn't terribly often. I had my head bashed into a locker in junior high and it was terribly traumatic (lots of blood everywhere), but I don't know if it was really a meltdown.

Some of my traits, however, fit very well...

As a child, I was hypersensitive to sound and touch I didn't like loud startling noises (lived in fear of them, actually), and I had to cut all of the tags out of my clothing because they itched too much. I suspect my sound hypersensitivity from a very young age gave me absolute pitch (very common among the autistic population, apparently). I ate all of my food separately (i.e. all of the peas, then all of the potatoes, then the meat, etc.). I was very clumsy and I'm still clumsy today, though I could also attribute this to just being very tall and gangly.

I was naive and gullible to a fault growing up... I think I believed in Santa Claus until fifth grade. I could count the number of friends I had before 11th grade on one hand. I've learned enough social skills to get by and function as a "normal" person, but the subtler social cues still evade me. I get the impression that others here have a lot more difficulty with this than I do.

I have always found it difficult to criticize others constructively and have an even harder time accepting criticism (especially when I perceive the criticism as not constructive... that just gets me worked up). I'm working on this with some success.

I still get extremely obsessive about special interests. If anything, this has gotten stronger over the years.

All in all... I'm convinced that my traits fall on the spectrum, though today it's so mild that I'm sure I wouldn't be diagnosed with an ASD. I'm not prone to caring too much, however, where I would officially "fall." I don't know I'd even classify myself as having a disorder. Impairments, certainly, but maybe not past the point of significant weaknesses. Maybe that's just a variety of "normal"?

At very best, I'm atypical. :)


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whitetiger
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08 Jun 2009, 9:10 am

I have "atypical autism." On the surface, I am very mild on the spectrum. With intensive testing, it's been found that I have moderate AS, however. It's because of the level that my AS has disabled me.

I'd say, go for intensive testing with an AS specialist. Ask for the Vineland II as part of your assessment and you'll get a very good idea as to what level your AS is.


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MattShizzle
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08 Jun 2009, 9:13 am

My therapist says I'm mildly AS - though sometimes I think it's more since there's so many things I can't do - of course I have physical issues, too. I also don't have any special talents.



Danielismyname
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08 Jun 2009, 9:17 am

Closer to the mild side when the whole continuum is looked at.

Amongst my label, I'm very mild, compared to the milder labels, I'm probably run-of-the-mill in severity [even if I manifest the social impairments a little differently].

Definitely close to the mild end, yeah.

To add, it doesn't mean my disorder isn't disabling, of course; it is.



zer0netgain
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08 Jun 2009, 9:25 am

I consider myself to be "mildly afflicted" with AS.

Obviously, I was not significantly affected by AS to the point that I could not function, nor was it obvious growing up that I had some kind of learning or behavioral disability, but then again, AS wasn't even recognized as a disorder in the USA until 1994....when I was 26 and already suffered the impact of AS on much of my life.

To then, I was considered odd, a freak, a failure, incompetent, etc. because of how AS affected me and how I looked and reacted to things. My parents couldn't understand how I could be so smart and do so well in school (in a supportive environment, I do very well) but never seem to be able to get a good job and stay employed. My "mannerisms" were never too obvious, but then again, I think I deliberately repressed any outward signs of my AS because I was already self-conscious enough and the outbursts I was inclined to do I knew would make me an even bigger freak than I already was. This made me uncomfortable around others because I didn't know what people would think of me...especially if I was truly "myself" around them.

If my AS symptoms were so pronounced that I could not suppress them around others, I suppose it would have been clear all along that something was not right with me. Parents tend to overlook minor flaws. I know my parents think I'm weird, but they seem to have always accepted me the way I was and never made an issue (at least, not very often) that I was not like everyone else's kid.



cyberscan
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08 Jun 2009, 9:32 am

I wish I could say that I am mildly on the spectrum, but that would be a lie. I'm more on the severe end.


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lionesss
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08 Jun 2009, 9:33 am

As a child I am not sure if I would have been but definitely as an adult. I have my own home, business, family, etc so yeah it's very mild. I can function among NT's, but my weird "quirks" will never disappear. I am terribly organized and lose focus easily though. That's the ADHD.



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08 Jun 2009, 9:39 am

I consider myself mild, since I could be worse off.

I have my fair share of problems, but since I tend to live in another world I don't notice them as much. I experience much of what makes life difficult for people on the spectrum in varying degrees. My biggest problem though is social phobia (not directly related to autism), because it makes it much harder to actually go out and try, and is just another source of anxiety.


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poopylungstuffing
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08 Jun 2009, 10:04 am

I would probably fall under this category..my level of severtity ebbs and flows. I started out in life normal-but interesting--but sorta started sliding downhill during/after 1st grade...

I do some things that maybe the average person on the spectrum might have trouble with..while there are things..like driving...that lots of people with AS can do that I can't really do. Sometimes I surprise myself and do stuff that makes me start doubting. Sometimes I can be somewhat socially at ease...Also I have relatively little trouble with sustaining relationships....I never had trouble with my foods touching...

An AS specialist lady who had done 100's of assessments said that in her opinion I was def. an aspie, but I frequently question that. I am an odd person...and I might come off as markedly odd to people...but I don't know if that is enough to count for anything.

When I was little..my mom said to me...you're not autistic, you're artistic....maybe she is right...(this might have been when my grandfather was trying to raise flags because he thought that I was developing oddly)...Maybe I really could drive if I really applied myself...maybe I suffer from "Learned Helplessness"

I have coped with depression and anxiety. I most likely had dyspraxia when I was younger...I have sorta decent fine motor skills but clumsy gross motor skills....I did walk on my toes and still do...as a child my sensory issues were much much worse...I don't make eye contact....there is enough evidence that I am probably on the spectrum...but I probably don't know what my severity is...maybe a lot of my weirdness-difficulties have to do with something else and not the autistic spectrum.....I will never know till I get a formal diagnosis...



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08 Jun 2009, 10:56 am

I'm on the mild/very mild end of AS, but even then it still causes it's problems.
I kind of wax and wane a bit depending on my mood or where I am, I do stay mild of course but just how mild changes loads.


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Sora
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08 Jun 2009, 11:40 am

I'm not mild, but I'm hf. At first I thought that because I am hf I was mild, but learning more about my autism and other people's ASDs I realised I'm not what's commonly considered to be mild.


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Last edited by Sora on 08 Jun 2009, 12:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

pschristmas
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08 Jun 2009, 11:59 am

According to my therapist, I'm too high functioning to be autistic but have autistic features.

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Filip
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08 Jun 2009, 12:30 pm

One therapist said I was definitely autistic, another said I was not but have autistic features and another thougt it was a mild form. So, I declared myself to be someone with Asperger's of someone with high-functioning autism.

I think most people would say I have a mild form of autism and I would agree. But then again, you think about it and you recognize you have a lot of traits but you also discovered that you have learned to maskerade them. You see that you have adapted your behaviour and that you have learned some exit strategies to certain situations. But in fact, you're still autistics, you always start from an autistic basis, you only have learned to survive. So, I think there isn't really a severe and a mild form of autism, there is only autism.

On the other side, autism is an extensible notion. Some have trait A, others don't. Some have trait B, others don't. And another can have trait A and B together. But is person A therefore less or milder autistic then person B? I don't know. I must say that I don't stim, I can make eye contact with people I know, I don't have a perfect pitch, ... but then again I like routine, I always take the same sandwich, I have trouble with driving because I don't see the whole picture, I suffer from severe depressions and anxiety, I don't like criticism, .... Makes me that less autistic? I think it doesn't. I know you can have more traits and have more difficulties to live with them, but we are all autistic.



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08 Jun 2009, 12:38 pm

My therapist says I'm moderately AS; I'd say mild to moderate. The most severe trait is the social impairment... I have no trouble getting employed and holding a job for a while, but I inevitably get fired. I'm what they call a chronic underacheiver. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to be more of a team player. And I'm always caught flat-footed when a friend finally looses patience and blows up on me. :(

But the sensory overwhelm is mild, No sensory scrambling, I'm pretty extroverted, physically fine, and high IQ. I have no trouble driving or taking care of myself. Anxiety is situation dependent. Friends fairly non-existent at the moment, but I am in a wonderful relationship of 9 years.



timeisdead
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08 Jun 2009, 1:25 pm

Mild in terms of getting around and doing what I need, moderate in terms of personality. My most severe trait is my obsessiveness.



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08 Jun 2009, 1:26 pm

Pretty mild here. Though I have been told I am not a team player and have sandbagged people. I am also told I am weird. I don't know what I do to make people say that.

As a child I loved spending time in the dryer. When I finally grew large enough for it to hurt while trying to get out of the dryer I quit. I have always liked squeezing into tight, dark corners. And my favorite activity was reading a book in the woods and exploring club moss, reindeer moss, mushrooms, hummingbirds, and the insects living in logs. The people I considered my friends were 65 and above. I would take the things I had made from egg cartons and things I found on the ground and walk up the hill to show to my friends.

I never knew until I graduated that I had been considered ret*d. I don't know what the teachers thought I was doing under the slide with books. I could read long before I went to kindergarten. My favorite reading was the Golden Encyclopedia and then the Encyclopediae Brittanica.

My mother was constantly telling me how I should have reacted socially (when we were alone to save me embarrassment)

I was born depressed and allergic to the world. With medication I am better on both counts.

My husband liked me when he met me because I wasn't girly and thought logically.

When I was a child, I thought all men looked exactly alike and with difficulty I could tell the girls apart, usually by what they wore.

I loved learning. I hated being with students that made fun of me constantly. I preferred talking to the teachers. The kids never wanted to talk about anything interesting, just about each other, and I couldn't tell them apart. I remember telling jokes that made sense only to me. Once, at recess, I held the corners of my red coat, and flapped them at people and squawked at them. I could not understand why they could not see that I was being a red bird.

People ask me where I got my accent. I was born here!! Sometimes as a I child I talked in King James English because I liked the rhythm better.

I wanted the same food and same clothes every day. Still cut out the tags. I have trained myself not to have temper tantrums when the day's schedule is suddenly changed, but I still hate it. I had to train myself to look into people's eyes. It was decades before it stopped making me over anxious.

I toe walked for a time, and also tried many different gaits. I am clumsy and picked last for sports.

There are many other things, but this is getting too long. I am self-diagnosed. I gave birth to a brilliant NT son, a brilliant son with asperger's, and a daughter with autism plus who is non-verbal.