Page 1 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

CrinklyCrustacean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284

22 Jun 2009, 7:59 am

If someone's choice of clothes/makeup/whatever their wearing looks terrible, don't tell them. It isn't constructive criticism unless they specifically ask you for your opinion.



taxman
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 29 Nov 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 111
Location: United States

23 Jun 2009, 4:53 pm

If you are staying someplace or visiting, and other people are undertaking some chore or task, you are expected to at least offer to help.



capnquack
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 7

23 Jun 2009, 7:38 pm

1. When someone says "how are you?" They don't really want to know. Just say "fine" or "I'm good". (I don't always do this, I usually answer honestly because I find it hilarious)

2. When someone is crying, they expect you to say "Are you okay?" - not nothing.

3. Using a higher pitched voice when explaining something makes you sound kinder. Low pitched voice makes you sound angry - even if you're not.

4. Smiling and nodding go a long, long way. Laughing very gently too (just a short heheh is enough). It makes you seem less threatening, and like you actually understand and care about what's going on.

5. Understand that NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR TOPICS OF INTEREST. Keep them to yourself at all costs, unless and only unless someone asks you directly about them. Then only give out a sentence or two because again, NO ONE CARES NEARLY AS MUCH AS YOU DO. This takes huge amounts of practice, but it's never too late to start. You'll alienate yourself so much less.

6. Don't tense your fingers for any reason. Continuously flexing and stretching your hands makes you seem threatening, even when you don't mean to be.

7. Turn your HIPS towards people who are talking to you. Likewise - if you don't like what someone is doing or saying, turn your hips away from them.

8. When someone says "You know?" or "You know what I mean?" just nod. Don't say anything.



marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

24 Jun 2009, 2:57 am

When someone says "I would appreciate it if you did X" their reaction will not be neutral if you choose not to do X. To get out of doing X without pissing said person off you'll have to come up with something more clever than "Nah, I really don't feel like doing X".



activebutodd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 828

24 Jun 2009, 8:16 am

If you don't ask more about something somebody tells you about themselves, you may be seen as uninterested and rude. If you do, you may be seen as pushy and rude! What works best is this.

Person-"I'm feeling _ / I will be going to_ / this person said_".
You- (casually with fleeting eye contact) "Yeah?"

The person talking to you may elaborate, in which case they're ok to talk more about it. Or they won't say anything, in which case you say "cool" "ok" or nothing further, and change the subject.

As for the emotional significance of what they may say, sorry you're on your own!