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kevv729
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20 Jan 2006, 8:30 pm

I have always when it comes to a very serious conversation taken it very literally or have thought it was supposed to be a serious conversation. When I do take it very seriously and it was not meant to be that (other person conversing with them) I find it to Me to be a lie. Sometimes I just don't understand it oh well then.


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Klytus
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20 Jan 2006, 9:15 pm

aylissa wrote:
It is much easier for me as well to interpret the written word as opposed to the spoken word. It is also very hard for me to handle/understand teasing, and also people's tone or intent tend to be mistranslated sometimes.


DrizzleMan wrote:
It may be due to trouble reading body language.


I disagree. I don't think trouble reading body language causes aspies to take things literally in social situations. Rather, I think that taking things literally and having difficulty reading body language are both down to the same underlying disability.

Besides, I have taken misinterpreted things during phone conversations, things that I know wouldn't trouble the majority of normal people.

Still, it's always interesting to hear a neurotypical point of view. :mrgreen:

To me, Asperger's seems best explained as a disability affecting executive function. I have been able to explain to myself every trait that I've ever read about in these terms. In fact, if I started responding to more posts of this nature (i.e., "your thoughts on trait XYZ") I'd start to sound even more repetitive than I already do.

I attended an Asperger's conference recently. It was mostly useless, but there was an interesting bit where they compared brain scans of aspies and NTs. When an NT receives sensory input, two areas of the brain seem to become activated: one that "accepts" the input, and one that processes a response. In the aspie/autistic brain, the first part becomes activated, but the second part (the part that processes a response) seems dormant.

This seemed to fit with my experience. One thing that always used to annoy me at school was the way people thought I was unaware of what was going on around me, when it was more a case of my not being able to respond appropriately.
It also used to annoy me how I tended to miss jokes. Combined with my inability to do banter, it made me look like I had no sense of humour! But a sense of humour is just an ability to see humour at least somewhere, which I possessed; I used to devour joke books when I was younger! (I laugh less now than I used to though. :( )

So what do I think is behind this difficulty with getting jokes? I think it is to do with the part of the brain that should process responses automatically, but doesn't. This part is not activated automatically, but accessing a memory or a fact does seem to come naturally.

After all, I can appreciate comedy if I am watching it on TV, because I am in the right frame of mind, and nothing is expected of me. But in the social world I am constantly being taken by surprise.
I might bump in to someone in the corridor and barely be able to process a "hello" in time.
Someone might be talking to me about a serious subject, then throw in a joke, which I don't get to see till it's too late.

Recently I fell over and sprained my wrist, and I had to wear a bandage. A guy I knew saw me wearing it, and asked me, with an unusual degree of enthusiasm, "how did you do that then, eh?"
So I told him. "Oh", he said. The conversation was dead. Two seconds later I figured out to myself that he was making a humorous allusion to masturbation. But those precious seconds made all the difference. Damn.

In fact, I find these days I am often interrupting myself with "Oh!"s as I realise what was really meant. Yes, I often do spot sarcasm, and I can understand its appeal. I used to think I had very little problem spotting sarcasm, but who knows how many jokes I've missed in my life, jokes that I'm not even aware of now, and jokes from situations long forgotten.



neongrl
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20 Jan 2006, 9:39 pm

My brain's default response is to take things the most literal way possible. It can really make communication frustrating at times - for me and especially for the person trying to talk to me.



MsTriste
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20 Jan 2006, 10:01 pm

Klytus wrote:
aylissa wrote:
It is much easier for me as well to interpret the written word as opposed to the spoken word. It is also very hard for me to handle/understand teasing, and also people's tone or intent tend to be mistranslated sometimes.


DrizzleMan wrote:
It may be due to trouble reading body language.


I disagree. I don't think trouble reading body language causes aspies to take things literally in social situations. Rather, I think that taking things literally and having difficulty reading body language are both down to the same underlying disability.

Besides, I have taken misinterpreted things during phone conversations, things that I know wouldn't trouble the majority of normal people.

Still, it's always interesting to hear a neurotypical point of view. :mrgreen:

To me, Asperger's seems best explained as a disability affecting executive function. I have been able to explain to myself every trait that I've ever read about in these terms. In fact, if I started responding to more posts of this nature (i.e., "your thoughts on trait XYZ") I'd start to sound even more repetitive than I already do.

I attended an Asperger's conference recently. It was mostly useless, but there was an interesting bit where they compared brain scans of aspies and NTs. When an NT receives sensory input, two areas of the brain seem to become activated: one that "accepts" the input, and one that processes a response. In the aspie/autistic brain, the first part becomes activated, but the second part (the part that processes a response) seems dormant.

This seemed to fit with my experience. One thing that always used to annoy me at school was the way people thought I was unaware of what was going on around me, when it was more a case of my not being able to respond appropriately.
It also used to annoy me how I tended to miss jokes. Combined with my inability to do banter, it made me look like I had no sense of humour! But a sense of humour is just an ability to see humour at least somewhere, which I possessed; I used to devour joke books when I was younger! (I laugh less now than I used to though. :( )

So what do I think is behind this difficulty with getting jokes? I think it is to do with the part of the brain that should process responses automatically, but doesn't. This part is not activated automatically, but accessing a memory or a fact does seem to come naturally.

After all, I can appreciate comedy if I am watching it on TV, because I am in the right frame of mind, and nothing is expected of me. But in the social world I am constantly being taken by surprise.
I might bump in to someone in the corridor and barely be able to process a "hello" in time.
Someone might be talking to me about a serious subject, then throw in a joke, which I don't get to see till it's too late.

Recently I fell over and sprained my wrist, and I had to wear a bandage. A guy I knew saw me wearing it, and asked me, with an unusual degree of enthusiasm, "how did you do that then, eh?"
So I told him. "Oh", he said. The conversation was dead. Two seconds later I figured out to myself that he was making a humorous allusion to masturbation. But those precious seconds made all the difference. dam*.

In fact, I find these days I am often interrupting myself with "Oh!"s as I realise what was really meant. Yes, I often do spot sarcasm, and I can understand its appeal. I used to think I had very little problem spotting sarcasm, but who knows how many jokes I've missed in my life, jokes that I'm not even aware of now, and jokes from situations long forgotten.


I do not understand why you quoted me, then disagreed (which doesn't make sense because I was not expressing an opinion). Also, your post goes on to basically point out how your experiences are similar to mine.

And to which NT do you refer?

Did I misunderstand something? :?



quietangel
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20 Jan 2006, 10:13 pm

I am very literal. I always have been, I have even wove it into a wierd sense of humor, so others won't laugh at me so much. Here is an example of something that happened to me today..
I was at the pharmacy and she calls out "next person to window 2" so I go up to window 2 and she says "over here" and she is at 3, I am like you said 2 and she says "you know what I meant"
I said no I didn't...

ARGH


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Tails
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20 Jan 2006, 10:54 pm

quietangel wrote:
I am very literal. I always have been, I have even wove it into a wierd sense of humor, so others won't laugh at me so much. Here is an example of something that happened to me today..
I was at the pharmacy and she calls out "next person to window 2" so I go up to window 2 and she says "over here" and she is at 3, I am like you said 2 and she says "you know what I meant"
I said no I didn't...

ARGH


I think that would confuse anyone 8O Window 2 means window 2. It can't mean window 3. Stuff like that freaks me out. I'm always terrified someone will think I'm stupid.


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20 Jan 2006, 11:06 pm

I have never had much trouble with idioms, metaphors, and cliches. Sometimes, I have had to ask people the meaning of a certain idiom, but only rarely. For me, the problem is often discerning whether someone is serious or joking. I have had many occasions where someone would say something, and seeing that I was taking it seriously, they would tell me that they were only kidding. I got teased for this mercilessly in second grade, when people would go up to me and say "I am going to eat you up," and I would react because I thought they were serious.



DrizzleMan
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21 Jan 2006, 5:46 am

aylissa wrote:
I do not understand why you quoted me, then disagreed (which doesn't make sense because I was not expressing an opinion). Also, your post goes on to basically point out how your experiences are similar to mine.

And to which NT do you refer?

Did I misunderstand something? :?


He quoted me after you, and that was whom he disagreed with.



MsTriste
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21 Jan 2006, 6:55 am

Emettman wrote:
Do each of us pick a set of cards, and enough jokers adds up to AS?
It would fit the frequently seen model of relatives with "a few AS characteristics": they've been picking cards out of a similar deck.


Great metaphor. Reminds me that I've always wondered if the "issues" I have are due to the fact that my narcissistic grandmother was the child of first cousins. Her daughter, ( my mother), I believe has both narcissism and HFA. The genetics seem to be getting diluted over the generations though, as the narcissism bypassed me and my two daughters are both NT.



danielcanberra
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21 Jan 2006, 7:01 am

People should just say what they mean.



LeonSKennedy827
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21 Jan 2006, 9:34 am

Yep, I'm very literally, I also have trouble knowing people are joking, and get angry alot, aswell as confused.

Here's an example of me being literal, one time in Year 8, in a Science class in 2003, I was kinda falling behind, and my teacher said "pull your socks up Dan!" I had them tucked in, and I'm sure you know what came next, I got so much stick for that for weeks



IAMthatIAM
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21 Jan 2006, 10:51 am

What is HFA? Thanks



Tails
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21 Jan 2006, 10:55 am

HFA = Higher Functioning Autism.


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odeon
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21 Jan 2006, 10:56 am

After 14 years, my wife still asks me "are you angry at me?" when I'm anything but. I've been told that I'm arrogant so often that I sometimes believe I am, in fact, arrogant. I've been told that I show no interest whatsoever in a topic when I in fact listen the best I can.

Something with body language, or my lact thereof. But none of this really dawned on me until a few days ago, when I got a formal diagnosis and my Doctor told me that it's very "hard to read me".

I'm so glad there are others that get the same reaction from NTs.



Tekneek
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21 Jan 2006, 11:09 am

I have learned what phrases are not supposed to be taken literally, but I still envision them as literal in my head anyway. At home, when I am just having regular conversations with my wife, I treat all of them literally because it is a release for me not to think through it like I have to with everyone else. Sometimes it bothers her, and sometimes it makes her laugh, but mostly she doesn't mind because she knows it helps me unwind from the stress of everyday life.

It isn't like it is a chore, but I obviously see everything literally first and only know better through 'training' of myself to identify them. I am the "last guy to laugh at a joke" a lot of the time, because I have to think through the entire thing.

I hear, through my wife, that people say I am a snob, arrogant, etc. They interpret my inability, and often lack of any attempt, to small talk as that. I don't think I am really a snob or arrogant, but sometimes it is a little entertaining to find out why they think that. My wife says it is because I don't find most people worth talking to. I suppose that is true. If I don't think we have anything in common, I really have little interest in talking about anything. A lot of people seem to enjoy talking about nothing, which seems like a real waste of time and I don't get it anyway.

My wife says I am very easy to read. She can often tell what I am going to want to do before I express it. I have no idea what she wants to do, what she is thinking, what her mood is, etc. Since I cannot tell, I am prone to asking her if everything is alright, if she is angry, and so on. She does her best dealing with it. :)



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26 Apr 2006, 5:27 am

Tails wrote:
Taking things literally seems to be one of the major defaining 'traits' of Asperger's. But is that to say that all Aspies have trouble with metaphors, or are unable to understand innuendo or wordplay jokes? Personally, I don't think this is the case.

For me, I have never had any trouble with understanding turns of phrase, metaphor, etc. I love puns and wordplay. The trouble I have is with understanding tone and motive. For example, I don't know if I'm being teased or if the person is serious. Eg, at work, sometimes I would sneakily check my email, and my coworker would threaten to call up the manager and tell him. I could never tell if he was serious or not, and every time I'd freak out and he'd laugh and tell me he was only joking. It took me a long time to learn that it was teasing. I tend to get VERY upset very easily at being teased, because I just don't know that I am only being teased. This leads people to say I have no sense of humour, which is untrue, I feel, but I can see why it would seem that way.

However, I don't have any trouble with turns of phrase such as "pull your socks up". I have never taken things literally. But I do prefer online to talking in person, since I'm not brilliant at interpretting tone.



ditto.