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LePetitPrince
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MissConstrue
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09 Sep 2009, 7:14 pm

Mate copying is so like 90's..... :roll:


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LePetitPrince
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10 Sep 2009, 9:19 am

no major changes between 90s and 2000's. I find this phenomenon very true btw.



Janissy
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10 Sep 2009, 12:35 pm

How can we spin this in an Aspie's favor? How about the Friend Zone? According to this very believable article, the male with females around him is inherently more attractive than the male that females are apparently avoiding. If you are in the Friend Zone, you don't have romance or sex, but you also don't have a sign hanging over your head that says "Women Avoid Me, You Should Too". Instead you have a sign hanging over your head saying "Women Like Me and I'm Available". That's got to be worth something.



LePetitPrince
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10 Sep 2009, 12:53 pm

Janissy wrote:
How can we spin this in an Aspie's favor? How about the Friend Zone? According to this very believable article, the male with females around him is inherently more attractive than the male that females are apparently avoiding. If you are in the Friend Zone, you don't have romance or sex, but you also don't have a sign hanging over your head that says "Women Avoid Me, You Should Too". Instead you have a sign hanging over your head saying "Women Like Me and I'm Available". That's got to be worth something.


You got the whole article wrong, Janissy. Reread it.

The male who COPULATES with a lot of females , attract more and more females. Copulation can be simply translated to dating in the human society (since dating is the first pre-copulation step).

Guys in "Friend zone" don't date their female friends, female friends don't offer sex to him, so the mate copying doesn't apply here.

However, if you observe the 'Ladies man" type of men, you'll notice that they attract a lot of women.

I have observed females who literally get melt when they see a 'ladies man' I know, yet they know that he's a "ladies man" , he's obviously and out loud player, they know he was married and divorced with 2 sons (and he even left the kids to her) , they know he's married again with a Ukrainian/pole woman , they know that he dated a lot of women before, they even know he dates some women while his current wife is studying medicine in her mother country and they aggressively mumble when I mention that his wife is a foreigner (they usually say "are European girls better than us?"). Yes, they still like the man. That's mate copying.

Also, mate copying explains why girls usually find married men more attractive.



mitharatowen
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10 Sep 2009, 3:09 pm

It's amusing how they suggest that humans are so different from "unthinking" fish and birds who flock. :lol:

I can definately see how this can be true in some instances .. like celebrities for example. Some of the most popular 'hotties' are really not attractive at all (imo.. I kind of always thought I just had odd taste..)

Actually I'm more likely to go the opposite direction. I generally dislike celebrities and such if all the girls like them. It makes them less appealing to me. I like uniqueness infinately more than mainstream attractiveness.



MissConstrue
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10 Sep 2009, 3:54 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
It's amusing how they suggest that humans are so different from "unthinking" fish and birds who flock. :lol:

I can definately see how this can be true in some instances .. like celebrities for example. Some of the most popular 'hotties' are really not attractive at all (imo.. I kind of always thought I just had odd taste..)

Actually I'm more likely to go the opposite direction. I generally dislike celebrities and such if all the girls like them. It makes them less appealing to me. I like uniqueness infinately more than mainstream attractiveness.


^I agree, I never really understood the popularity competition on mainstream looks. Maybe why most females are so hypercompetitive with eachother yet could never really comprehend as to why. I don't know but I've seen many guys do the same thing when it comes to playboy centerfolds. So I think this is a wee bit bias on the female's part......if you ever read many of Prince's pop science articles about females that is.... :wink:


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10 Sep 2009, 4:20 pm

The blog post had an interesting update of an old, well-documented phenomenon. It's probably telling that Aspies don't seem to follow this practice of mate copying, since we are as a rule not good at nonverbal communication and other social skills.

The "competition" for mates among humans can be explained by biology and psychology, at least in general. Predicting exactly how an individual will fare is a bit more difficult, but a married physician will generally be more appealing to women than a single ditch digger, for instance.

Note: No offense intended to ditch diggers. Or to married physicians. Or to women. But humans are by and large predictable.



LePetitPrince
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11 Sep 2009, 5:07 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
mitharatowen wrote:
It's amusing how they suggest that humans are so different from "unthinking" fish and birds who flock. :lol:

I can definately see how this can be true in some instances .. like celebrities for example. Some of the most popular 'hotties' are really not attractive at all (imo.. I kind of always thought I just had odd taste..)

Actually I'm more likely to go the opposite direction. I generally dislike celebrities and such if all the girls like them. It makes them less appealing to me. I like uniqueness infinately more than mainstream attractiveness.


^I agree, I never really understood the popularity competition on mainstream looks. Maybe why most females are so hypercompetitive with eachother yet could never really comprehend as to why. I don't know but I've seen many guys do the same thing when it comes to playboy centerfolds. So I think this is a wee bit bias on the female's part......if you ever read many of Prince's pop science articles about females that is.... :wink:



To he honest, no ...i didn't see that much competition between guys over married women, maybe over single women but not married/engaged ones...

nor there's a competition between women over married men (since it's socially unacceptable) , I was just explaining their jealousy (=desiring to have the guy) by mate copying...



mitharatowen
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11 Sep 2009, 5:49 pm

I don't think this necessarily has anything to do with marriage per se.



Yagaloth
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11 Sep 2009, 11:23 pm

I would have to think that it's not precisely the dating or promiscuity that women find attractive, but rather successful attraction of mates and thus potentially successful reproduction.

From the standpoint of "evolution", it should not be a surprise or mystery that females of many sexually reproductive species find successful males attractive, as these are traits that would help ensure their own DNA is passed on to subsequent generations.

From that standpoint, it should only be necessary for guys to demonstrate success at being at least somewhat attractive to a variety of women, and at least the potential for success in reproducing with as many of them as possible.

The lesson to be gained from the study of mate copying is this: to get a good girlfriend or wife, guys might first need to be successful in attracting many potential mates of various quality, not necessarily high quality. To achieve that goal, it is only necessary to start small, and work one's way up from the smallest successes. The key there is to take small steps one at a time and make each one a success, before expecting to reach the destination of obtaining that "one true love". (I believe guys can define those successes for themselves, so long as they are able to convince the woman, themselves, and observers - particularly other potential mates - of the desirability of the chosen success.)

As a guy who has been single his entire life, I've been wondering why some of the things I've been trying lately have been working so well for me, and those things make sense in the context of mate copying. I've rather quickly gone from being hopelessly lonely and ignored, to attracting more attention from women than I know how to handle with my limited social skills and patience for social interaction. I started small, and defined my earliest successes as merely being able to smile at a girl, say "hello", and make eye contact for just long enough to see her reaction. Each of those little successes helped build my own confidence, attract positive attention, and provde practice for the next steps through "small talk", flirting, being flirted with, being hugged by girls I don't even know too well and who apparently only know me by word of mouth, and so on. Currently, my next goal is to work up the courage to successfully ask the first girl on a date, and end that date with her willing to go on another one, and then enjoy similar successes with other girls. Eventually, I'll work myself up to successfully proposing marriage with a single reliable and stable girl, who I can then consider the closest equivalent of that "one true love" that caused me so much grief before I started experimenting with this..