Ia Asperger's considered a behavior disorder?

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peacenik
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07 Oct 2009, 12:21 pm

When I told the principal that I wanted an IEP for my AS son, he sent me a note stating that he will have to be screened for a behavior disorder before they can put a behavior management portion in his IEP. Is this what I want to have happen? Pehaps I am being defensive, but I don't think a developmental problem should ne called a behavioral disorder, to me this implies that he is doing it on purpose (he has meltdowns in class). I have a call in to advocate to help me because I feel overwhelmed my all this jargon, but I know the folks here are experienced (have read many other posts). What do you all think?

Thanks for being here!
Ann



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07 Oct 2009, 1:00 pm

We negotiated a "Behavior Plan" in my son's IEP in 5th and 6th grade, and we used it to protect my son during meltdowns or other situations in school when I couldn't be there. It basically outlined the procedures the school would take during these situations. It included the procedures they would take when he was perceived as being badly behaved. For example, first instance - talking to by teacher, second instance - talking to by principal, third instance - call home, fourth instance - detention, etc etc. I liked it because it said exactly what the school would do in "bad behavior" situations, and it also included "contracting" with my son, so I wouldn't have to worry or guess about what was going on or how he was being treated. Contracting is a system where the plan is explained to the student, including rewards and punishments, and the student gets input, then actually has to sign the plan. We pretty much insisted on having this plan, and the school had to comply once I requested it. Again, I used the Behavior Plan as a tool.

I don't know about screening for a "behavior disorder" I don't think its part of the official jargon. If your son has a diagnosis, that should be all that you need.



Zsazsa
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07 Oct 2009, 2:57 pm

It is a neurological disorder with behavioral issues.



eeyore710
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08 Oct 2009, 11:50 am

I would be really wary of the principal's attitude...and good for you for calling an advocate! It sounds like you're gonna need it! The focus should not be on behavioral issues. I know for my daughter, stresses related to environmental overstimulation can lead to behavioral problems, but this is not behavioral in nature ultimately. If the environment can be modified and coping skills are taught, you can set your child up for success so that the meltdowns become very very rare. The IEP should not focus on your child as a behavior problem. It should focus on what things can happen that would prevent it from getting to that point.

Read my post from earlier today on the topic "why does a good morning turn into a horrible day at school?" I talked about the IEP and the exceptional way that my daughter's school placed the focus on prevention and teaching, and how this has been more successful than a friend who's child's IEP has a behavior plan.



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08 Oct 2009, 12:31 pm

We don't have a behavior plan in my son's IEP. While he has been known to meltdown at school, that has been considered an AS issue to be accommodated for, not a behavior issue. What he has is what might be thought of as an escape clause, ie the ability to go to a designated safe place whenever he feels he needs to, no questions asked, no permission or notification required. In elementary school, that safe place was the antiroom right behind his classroom. In middle school its the resource room, although what usually happens is the teacher sees the build up, or he sees it, and they agree that he should sit in the hall right outside the door until he has it managed.

The other issues that might be seen as behavior issues are considered part of the AS and are dealt with using accommodations. Stimming in class, for example - that constant need to move. He is allowed to do that as long as he choses a stim that is quiet. If he spaces out or makes too much noise teachers have agreed to quiet and subtle signals that let him know and draw him back. He isn't a defiant child, for the most part, so for him, this level works.

Do you feel your child needs a behavior plan or is he more like mine, where the issues can actually be dealt with using accommodations?


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peacenik
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08 Oct 2009, 2:54 pm

Thanks for the replies! Still have not heard back from advocate. I live in rural-ish WV, there's probably only one person for the whole state if experience serves from other "services". My son can be very defiant when he is stressed, but if one pays attention AT ALL it is not hard to see a build up and either remind him to go to a quiet place or if you catch really early, even just use a quiet, supportive reminder that he is ramping up. He does make noises in class, like smacking his lips or just silly sounds, and the other kids complain sometimes. If there was just a place he could go like you all said "no questions asked" that would be great.
Teacher sent home his midterm grades saying "He is very intelligent but has missed a lot of work due to his behavior" (referring to the two times he was suspended after a melt-down). "I will try to instill a work-ethic into him" :x I am still fuming over this a week later. Is it me or is there an implication here??? I'll send him to her house for a week and see if she can "fix" him. Grrrrrrrrrr!
I really would like to homeschool him but I am returning to school next year.

I know this stuff has all been covered here before, but I just feel so powerless and frustrated. I'm glad there are people here who understand!

Thanks for "listening"!

Ann



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09 Oct 2009, 11:08 am

The "escape clause" is a good one. For my daughter, she has a carrel like you would find for studying in the library with 3 small walls on it. They call it her office, and she has even decorated it the way most adults decorate their cubicles...she has a note from me, and some pictures of favorite things that help her feel comfortable when she is worried or stressed. She sits with the class most of the day, but if she starts to feel overwhelmed, she just tells her teacher that she needs to do her work in her office for a little while.



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09 Oct 2009, 2:54 pm

peacenik wrote:
(referring to the two times he was suspended after a melt-down)


WHAT? They suspended a 9 year old kid for having a meltdown? (he is 9 right?) That's just stupid.

I know it doesn't help with what you need right here and now, but I am about a third of the way through a book called "Lost at School" by Ross W. Greene (he is also the author of "The Explosive Child; Understanding and Helping Easily Frustrated, "Chronically Inflexible" Children" which I have found sooo helpful). I would highly recommend it, for you and especially that principal.



DW_a_mom
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09 Oct 2009, 4:22 pm

peacenik wrote:
"I will try to instill a work-ethic into him" :x I am still fuming over this a week later.


That would have made me mad, too.

One of the things you will hear often from adult AS was how frustrating it was, as a child, before AS was known and understood, to always be called "lazy." This is a condition that creates a gap between perception of what a person is capable of, and the reality of what they are capable of. You need to pound that into the school's head. NEVER assume he isn't doing his best with the tools that are natural to him. Always look for the invisible something that is probably getting in his way. Sure, our kids can be lazy, but it doesn't occur as often as those who don't know about AS seem to think it does. Imagine spending your life doing your very best, and being told that you must not be applying yourself? Nice formula for giving up, don't you think? So, the concept must, absolutely, leave everyone's vocabulary. Print this and hand it to the teacher if you have to. The approach of instilling "work ethic" as a solution for performance gaps is wrong, wrong, wrong for an AS child.

Most AS kids aren't naturally defiant, to what I've seen. What they are is frustrated. Once you get inside that frustration, and show them you understand, they can be model students, children, whatever. Some things, like stims, they need to stay centered and calm, but stims can be directed into more suitable ones. Key being to redirect, not squash. When it comes to logic debates they can appear stubborn or defiant, but that usually comes from a true inability to see your point. Imagine someone telling you the sky is green when you can see quite clearly that it is blue. You won't concede because you feel you know differently and that conceding would be to lie. That is how AS can be when they hold an opinion on a topic, whether it be about a rule or a subject matter. Very different from chosing to oppose for some personal agenda.


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DenvrDave
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09 Oct 2009, 6:29 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
peacenik wrote:
"I will try to instill a work-ethic into him" :x I am still fuming over this a week later.


That would have made me mad, too.

One of the things you will hear often from adult AS was how frustrating it was, as a child, before AS was known and understood, to always be called "lazy." This is a condition that creates a gap between perception of what a person is capable of, and the reality of what they are capable of. You need to pound that into the school's head. NEVER assume he isn't doing his best with the tools that are natural to him. Always look for the invisible something that is probably getting in his way. Sure, our kids can be lazy, but it doesn't occur as often as those who don't know about AS seem to think it does. Imagine spending your life doing your very best, and being told that you must not be applying yourself? Nice formula for giving up, don't you think? So, the concept must, absolutely, leave everyone's vocabulary. Print this and hand it to the teacher if you have to. The approach of instilling "work ethic" as a solution for performance gaps is wrong, wrong, wrong for an AS child.

Most AS kids aren't naturally defiant, to what I've seen. What they are is frustrated. Once you get inside that frustration, and show them you understand, they can be model students, children, whatever. Some things, like stims, they need to stay centered and calm, but stims can be directed into more suitable ones. Key being to redirect, not squash. When it comes to logic debates they can appear stubborn or defiant, but that usually comes from a true inability to see your point. Imagine someone telling you the sky is green when you can see quite clearly that it is blue. You won't concede because you feel you know differently and that conceding would be to lie. That is how AS can be when they hold an opinion on a topic, whether it be about a rule or a subject matter. Very different from chosing to oppose for some personal agenda.


Well stated DW.



peacenik
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09 Oct 2009, 10:38 pm

Hey,
Thanks for the book suggestion, I haven't heard of that one. I read everything I can get my sweaty hands on, so that is much appreciated.

LOVE the idea of an "office". My son tells me several times a day that if adults can do something, then he should be able to as well. An office would appeal to him! I am writing that down.

Got a three page letter from the principle today describing how DS's behavior has been improved, which would have cheered me except that he stated that the reason he had improved was because the principal had "made it clear to him that that behavior wouldn't be tolerated", and that now that DS "understands that, unlike the past, there would be consequences for his actions, and I believe from now on his behavior should be better."

CALL THE VATICAN! A MIRACLE HEALING HAS BEEN PERFORMED! :roll:

Oh there was a post-script on the letter saying that DS did actually "spend the second half of the day sitting in my office because his teacher called when he was jumping up and down too much. But he was quiet and cooperative in my office."

Advocate called today but I was driving. She couldn't get back to me until Tuesday. Sigh. The wheels of progress turn sloooooowly.

Completely off-topic, DW, if memory serves (and it generally doesn't), you wrote a post about the type of folks who are in line in front of you, writing checks, putting the checks away, snapping the wallet, putting the wallet in the purse, snapping the purse, etc...? I wanted to tell you that if that was you, I almost peed my pants laughing. I'm personally ADD and I have that person in front of me everyday somehow, at least in my mind! Thanks for the laugh. I needed it!

So glad you are all here or I might have to change my user-name to something less pacifistic. You rock!

Ann



eeyore710
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10 Oct 2009, 11:19 am

Hehe if you're looking for books, one you could get for the principal is "All Cats Have Asperger's Syndrome". OK, I'm partly joking....we got it to explain the disorder to my daughter in a way she could relate to since she her cat is her best friend. But it is probably right about at the level of enlightenment of the principal too:)



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10 Oct 2009, 4:57 pm

peacenik wrote:

Completely off-topic, DW, if memory serves (and it generally doesn't), you wrote a post about the type of folks who are in line in front of you, writing checks, putting the checks away, snapping the wallet, putting the wallet in the purse, snapping the purse, etc...? I wanted to tell you that if that was you, I almost peed my pants laughing. I'm personally ADD and I have that person in front of me everyday somehow, at least in my mind! Thanks for the laugh. I needed it!


I don't think I wrote that but I do think I remember the thread. We have some very funny writers here. Shoot, my AS husband and AS son are both wickedly funny. Me ... not so much. But laughter is a great thing, isn't it?


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