Dealing with hate emails



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kaworuchan42
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15 Oct 2009, 11:48 am

There used to be a gay forum that I used to frequent. But after a while, I came to realize that there were only a few genuinely kind people at that particular place - most of the people there are hardcore drama queens.

In any case, my social awkwardness made me an easy target for many of those folk, who kept on telling me I should "grow some balls", "stop choosing to be such a worthless as*hole", that I would "never find true love", and that I bring all of this bad behavior upon myself.

How did it start? I really don't know. I first noticed it after I made a post saying that schizophrenia is one of the scariest illnesses imaginable, and then a whole lot of people jumped on me screaming that it was "not a real illness" at all, and that I was "an as*hole" for holding that opinion.

Then the hate emails started. I'm getting at least four or five of them a day, even though I stopped posting at that forum months ago. I just delete them, but frankly, at this point, I think it would be best to get a new email address.

A lot of this mail is very cruel. Telling me stuff like "your doctor should induce a coma, so that nobody would have to listen to you", and "I wish you would get a REAL illness like cancer, so that you would die and nobody would miss you". The sad thing is, the people who send these emails are held in high esteem at this particular forum. Heh.

I know I am a decent person, despite whatever bullshit these people say. Hell, at all of the online forums I frequent these days, I seem to fit in perfectly fine. But I am growing awfully weary of cleaning this out of my inbox day after day. I wonder what drives a person to such obsessive behavior? And these are people who claim to have no mental issues whatsoever.

At first, their words hurt me. One of them turned around and said, "Well, I get spam emails every day telling me I should take penis enhancement pills. I don't believe what they say! And you're an as*hole for being hurt by the words I sent to you!" What the hell is that all about? He sent me some of the most hurtful words of the bunch, and then turned around and denied that his words should have any effect on me, and that I was worthless because they actually did.

I don't understand how people can be like that. I have dealt with bullies for most of my life - but this is on a league of its own far more puzzling than most of what I dealt with in the past.

Well, I'm most likely going to get myself a new email addy, and take measures to make sure it never gets in the hands of ANYBODY on that forum. I haven't even looked at the place in the last four months. Heh. I'm just making this post because I can't understand how anybody can live the way these people do.



southwestforests
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15 Oct 2009, 12:30 pm

That's just flat out sadistic of them :evil:

My email accounts have an option to block addresses or to set addresses to go directly to spam.
that will help deal with "repeat offenders".
If it is a different individual every time, well . . .

I don't know for sure, but if they primarily come directly from the board website, sometimes email accounts have an option to block messages coming from an entire domain.
That may or may not be practical.


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Stinkypuppy
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15 Oct 2009, 2:09 pm

I'd slap the sh*t out of them if I could, but I get the impression that you're strong enough to do it on your own. :wink:

You know as well as I do that there are a lot of dumbasses out there. They've got nothing better to do in their lives than to make ignorant comments. Hang in there! :)


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iceb
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15 Oct 2009, 2:18 pm

There are some very sick puppies out there on the internet I am very careful to whom I give my e-mail address to.
These sorts of people must be very sad.


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Ladarzak
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15 Oct 2009, 2:29 pm

How they can live the way they do? Thoughtlessly!

I have run into a few annoying people that send unpleasant emails, including some that emailed me from a forum (because I made my address available to users) a year after I left the forum! Guess they just had to get some self righteous venom out because they were offended by me. Futile. Some places have more psychos and idiots than others. You've reminded me of these jerks today. Back to forgetting now. :)



CanadianRose
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15 Oct 2009, 2:41 pm

Hi.

Firstly, I just want to say that not everyone on a forum or message board is a sadistic SOB who stalks and harasses via e-mail. Unfortunately, you found a snake's den.

Please change your e-mail address and be very, very careful about who you give private and personal information to.

I do not list my personal e-mail address, even on WrongPlanet. If people want to contact me privately, they are welcome to private message me. If someone starts abusing this - I will have them blocked. My personal e-mail will always remain personal though.

Also, some people chose to have a separate e-mail account for using as a contact for people that they do not directly know. They get all the spam and nonsense at this address, but they have another private address for legitimate business and actual face to face family/friends.

One other thing - do not read anymore e-mails from these people. Their intentions are to hurt. They are not worth another second of your time or energy. They keep pestering you because they know that you are hurt (because you responded and, basically, said so) - hence they know you are a target and continue badgering. Don't make yourself a source of their sadistic amusement - stop reading and get a new e-mail address.



makuranososhi
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15 Oct 2009, 2:54 pm

My solution?

Select the offending emails.
Hit 'erase' without a second thought.
Move on.

They aren't worth reading/listening to, in my opinion.


M.


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DW
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15 Oct 2009, 4:01 pm

We need to remember that the majority of these offenders are uneducated individuals with no understanding in the field of psychiatry/neurology. They dont believe in mental illness because they cant see it with their eyes, like for example cancer. The majority of these people in fact, probably have an IQ a couple points above what is required to be able to perform simple tasks like develop simple sentences. Lastly, anyone that does have to deal with schizophrenia or other mental illnesses knows truly how real and debilitating they are. I deal with OCD/Panic Attacks/Depression and I know first hand that a chemical imbalance Does indeed exist.



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15 Oct 2009, 4:47 pm

That's horrible! :x I don't know why people even send hate emails in the first place, it's pointless, especially since usually they don't even know the person they sent the email too. What's even more confusing is that person you mentioned who called you a name just for being hurt by the emails. If hate emails are sent to hurt people, and that person doesn't think so, why did he/she send it? :?:


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CockneyRebel
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16 Oct 2009, 4:35 am

I got a hate e-mail from a member who used to post here, but he seems to be gone for now. That's what made me turn against society, but no more looking back.


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kaworuchan42
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16 Oct 2009, 3:06 pm

OK, I've decided to completely abandon every email address I have used on that forum. They'll close down within a couple of months (which happens with a lot of free email providers), and I will no longer even have to look at the nicks of those contemptible people again.

I think I learned to not automatically show my email address on any online forum from this experience.

Seriously, though. Saying my schizophrenia is a choice and that taking medications for it is "escaping from reality" (yep, they used those words) is pretty much like telling a diabetic that taking insulin is a bad idea. It's just a stupid view to have all the way around.

It would not sting at all if I did not consider these people to be friends before I had my meltdown a few years back.

Well, I guess the fact that a couple of these people also once told a sex abuse victim that he was "stupid' for "choosing" to be traumatized by his experience only hammers in how low they really are.

Well, they are a part of my past now. I seriously can't understand how these people can think the way they do, though. I like to believe that most people in the world are generally decent folk, then I think about these folk, and it kinda makes me rethink that belief. Not to the point of becoming a misanthrope - but enough to make me despair about the state of mankind.



0_equals_true
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16 Oct 2009, 7:47 pm

Easiest to get a new email and send to all you want to know about it. Never publicise your email on a forum.


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Seanmw
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16 Oct 2009, 8:08 pm

quick fix

1.) find to worst computer virus (or worms, they're more damaging to the hard drive) you can
2.) attach said file to an email with something to pique curiosity so they'll feel compelled to check it out
3.)when their computer is thoroughly trashed with spam and lacking efficient functionality, have a last laugh
4.) hope their anti-virus software sucks balls or is totally absent.

:lol:

realistically, firewalls/anti-virus/etc these days would prevent this from working. but it might make you feel better.


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Jkid
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16 Oct 2009, 8:13 pm

That is really amazing that you're getting hate mail by people who know little about mental illness. I bet many of them are 14 year old cyberyobs.



kaworuchan42
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16 Oct 2009, 8:21 pm

Jkid wrote:
That is really amazing that you're getting hate mail by people who know little about mental illness. I bet many of them are 14 year old cyberyobs.


Oh, how I wish that were the case. Then I would find it to be more excusable.

Nope, this is a bunch of gay drama queens (I'm gay, too - and I recognize that most gay people are not nearly as dramatic as this bunch is), most of who are older than I am. Sad, how a group that faces such oppression can dish out such oppression on their own.



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