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MYTIME
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26 Oct 2009, 3:40 pm

I am working on my social skills and have a question about tone of voice. I am very good at hearing other people's tone and interpreting what it means as well as reading body language. What I'm having trouble with is my own tone of voice and facial expressions. From the feedback I have received from others, I apparently sound angry or authoratative or argumentative even though that doesn't match my intention. In other words, I feel that I have no awareness of my own tone when I speak. Does anyone know how to work through this so that my statements aren't constantly misunderstood? Would this be something a speech therapist would work with? Just wondering where to look for help with this. Thanks!



Aoi
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26 Oct 2009, 4:42 pm

A speech therapist could help. Also, perhaps acting classes, public speaking classes or Toastmasters, or even just a helpful nudge from a trusted family member or friend would be useful.

I went through years of acting classes and public speaking classes, and they helped me learn to deal with inflection, register, and eye contact when speaking to a group. Now all I have to do is prepare mentally for a few days or so and I can handle such situations. In all other social situations I'm hopelessly lacking in affect, from body language to intonation.



Apple_in_my_Eye
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26 Oct 2009, 4:58 pm

I haven't done it, but the speech therapist sounds like a good thing to look into. I found with effort and practice I can keep certain things more 'contained.' Like I realized I was PUTting TOO MUch EMPHasis on the beginning of words, which was perceived as too emphatic or aggressive or angry. So I worked to smooth that out. It's kind of tiring, though, but a speech pathologist might know how to teach how to do that properly, so that it's more efficient.



Alena
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26 Oct 2009, 5:54 pm

I have a problem with tone of voice also. Mine is usually on a monotone, and for some reason either too low or too high. I have a good singing voice and could be a great public speaker. I do a fair bit of speaking in my job, speaking about what I am passionate about, and my voice irritates me a great deal.

I'm going to look into getting some kind of self-help audiobook. I'll let you know if I find anything!



bestillblue
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01 Nov 2009, 2:06 pm

One word: television. I have almost perfect tone/inflection, because my favorite thing to do when I was young was to repeat the things people on TV said over and over. Just make sure those you learn from are good actors, and you'll pick up a few things. Another note: I don't know if you're from the U.S., but we tend to speak in a somewhat smaller pitch range than the
British with a tendency to veer from one end of our scale to the other. This creates what and Algerian man I recently met calls "swingy" talking. Hope this helps!



rosiemaphone
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01 Nov 2009, 2:44 pm

I have some problems with tone of voice, when I am excited or animated, or even interested in someone's point of view, apparently I come across as snappy. I think it's cause the words come out very fast, and also because my angry, confused and thinking faces are very similar. It's kind of annoying though because when I am in that state of mind I'm not thinking about body language/tone of voice/facial expression, I'm thinking about what I'm interested in.



Mapler
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03 Nov 2009, 12:33 am

Same here, I can pick up how others sound but I don't know what tone I am talking in. I think I sound bored 80% of the time or pissed in this one class in which a third of the class isn't nice to me.



Mike-09
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11 Nov 2009, 7:44 pm

The only thing i will say is, listening to my own voice on a tape recorder is horrible, it sounds dull, unclear etc. .

I sound so ret*d.