Does this sound like a stim? (A "thought" stim?)

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

elderwanda
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,534
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

15 Nov 2009, 9:41 pm

I just had one of those moments where I realize there is something I do, which might be a stim. I wonder if any of you do something similar. I'll explain it by giving some background.

When I was 12, I used to listen to The Cars. On the back of one of the albums, were individual pictures of the band members, and I used to kind of imagine that the guy in the middle was my friend. I may have had a little crush on him, I suppose, but I think mostly I just imagined he was there, sharing my life with me, but I didn't want to feel that way all the time, just sometimes. So if I thought I would like to have him around a bit, I would say, in my mind, "Let [ ](his name) see what I see, hear what I hear, and feel what I feel between now and one hour from now." And then I'd just go on with my business. I began saying it every day, I think. I'd say it as I was walking home from school and that kind of thing.

Eventually, and without me really being aware of it, he was replaced by someone else. And then someone else. Sometimes it was someone from a rock band, sometimes it was a person who I knew in real life (but never an actual friend). Usually male, but one female. I never really gave it much thought, but just about every day of my life, I've said that phrase to myself. I'm out for a walk, or making a cup of tea, and if things seem kind of nice and pleasant, I say to myself, "Let [ ] see what I see, hear what I hear, and feel what I feel between now and one hour from now."

But then, a couple of years ago, the person whose name I did that with was a real person, who ended up being a jerk. So, I'd start to say that, and then I would stop myself. I've kind of weaned myself of it, but occasionally I find myself starting to say it with the name of another person, but I stop myself because it seems kind of juvenile and weird. Sometimes if I'm seeing or doing something really neat, I might say a modified version, so the person can "experience" it, too. (I do know they aren't really going to, of course. It just feels good to say the thing.)

In all these years (nearly 30!) of saying that thing every day, several times a day, I never really thought much about it. It's just a thing that I've always done.

Could that count as a stim, even though it's not physical? I don't see it as an OCD thing, because I don't feel like something bad will happen if I fail to say it, or like I have to say it even if I don't want to.

Anyone else do something similar?



Graelwyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2006
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,601
Location: Hants, Uk

15 Nov 2009, 9:46 pm

I dont think this is the same thing, but for most of my life, if there has been someone I have been obsessing over (which is often), I actually imagine they are with me during my daily activities, observing etc. Sometimes, I even make up conversations I might have with them, especially when I am laying in bed trying to sleep. I always saw it as a comfort thing for myself and a desire to show someone else my world for lack of any other way to get people to understand me.



88BK
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 159

15 Nov 2009, 9:49 pm

to me this seems like some sort of 'disassociation' or 'transference' issue rather than a stim.



Tahitiii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2008
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,214
Location: USA

15 Nov 2009, 10:08 pm

I do something similar. I call them my "toys." They're harmless enough. Mine are a little too complicated to go into here (you'd be bored out of your mind). They grow and become more involved over the years. I think it's a kind of obsessive/compulsive thing.

I suppose I could describe one of them -- Someone from my real life who's been gone for decades comes back to life and I show him all the new technology, bring him up to date on politics and such...

They're silly, but I like them.



hazelm
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 46

15 Nov 2009, 10:35 pm

Quote:
I dont think this is the same thing, but for most of my life, if there has been someone I have been obsessing over (which is often), I actually imagine they are with me during my daily activities, observing etc. Sometimes, I even make up conversations I might have with them, especially when I am laying in bed trying to sleep. I always saw it as a comfort thing for myself and a desire to show someone else my world for lack of any other way to get people to understand me.

I do this too! And I thought I was the only one. Wonders never cease.



Graelwyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2006
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,601
Location: Hants, Uk

15 Nov 2009, 10:43 pm

hazelm wrote:
Quote:
I dont think this is the same thing, but for most of my life, if there has been someone I have been obsessing over (which is often), I actually imagine they are with me during my daily activities, observing etc. Sometimes, I even make up conversations I might have with them, especially when I am laying in bed trying to sleep. I always saw it as a comfort thing for myself and a desire to show someone else my world for lack of any other way to get people to understand me.

I do this too! And I thought I was the only one. Wonders never cease.


Thank God it isn't just me.
I cringe actually when I look back to my younger years, as whoever I was obsessed with would be all over my walls, and I would actually stand there and have conversations with them and imagine they were there. Maybe it is a thing done from loneliness or something?



AnnaLemma
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Age: 74
Gender: Female
Posts: 384
Location: Holocene critter country

16 Nov 2009, 1:41 pm

I have done a kind of version of this since I was a kid. I pick a person from another time (thousands of years to a few decades ago) and as I go through my day (usually I can only maintain this for a few hours) I mentally explain stuff like using the telephone, driving a car, checking email, using the microwave, as I'm doing it, in terms they might understand. Makes me see the futuristic in my mundane life, I guess. But it is amusing, too.


_________________
The plural of "anecdote" is not "data".


TiredGeek
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 146

16 Nov 2009, 2:37 pm

Graelwyn wrote:
I dont think this is the same thing, but for most of my life, if there has been someone I have been obsessing over (which is often), I actually imagine they are with me during my daily activities, observing etc. Sometimes, I even make up conversations I might have with them, especially when I am laying in bed trying to sleep. I always saw it as a comfort thing for myself and a desire to show someone else my world for lack of any other way to get people to understand me.


I did this as a kid and teenager, I also thought of it that I was comforting myself because of loneliness. I would also think of stories, sometimes involving myself, sometimes not, it was like made-up movies for my own entertainment, that I could run on the VCR in my head (we didn't have DVDs then) while I got ready for school or did some other boring routine. I gradually did it less and less.

Now, instead, I usually think of things I have been reading or whatever, make mental notes to research something, go over to-do lists, etc. I can't seem to stay organized or remember anything otherwise.



Ambivalence
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,613
Location: Peterlee (for Industry)

16 Nov 2009, 3:58 pm

AnnaLemma wrote:
I have done a kind of version of this since I was a kid. I pick a person from another time (thousands of years to a few decades ago) and as I go through my day (usually I can only maintain this for a few hours) I mentally explain stuff like using the telephone, driving a car, checking email, using the microwave, as I'm doing it, in terms they might understand. Makes me see the futuristic in my mundane life, I guess. But it is amusing, too.


Ooh, I enjoy doing that, it's a good exercise.

I have several small mental tics - for example if I hear one of a series of names I'm not happy until I've remembered and listed the rest of it, or certain circumstances which will always prompt me to think or say ritualised phrases. That sort of thing.


_________________
No one has gone missing or died.

The year is still young.


cosmiccat
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,504
Location: Philadelphia

16 Nov 2009, 4:51 pm

I don't know what this would be called but I do it as a kind of ritual perhaps, I don't know if it's a stim, but it seems similar to many of the other examples here. My thing is very soothing and I keep adding detail to it.

I imagine myself and my entire family in the middle ages and riding beautiful horses in a procession through a really wonderful forest. We are all wearing beautiful medieval clothing and the horses are saddled and blanketed and adorned beautifully too. My husband and I lead the procession followed by all of our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren, parents, siblings, grandparents. As I said, it goes on and on, an endless procession with no real destination. Before I can stop and go to sleep I have to zoom in on each face and see it in every detail. Everyone in my immediate family, those who are alive, as well as those who have died, must be accounted for - not ancestors, just those family members I have had a close relationship with, who are now or once were a part of my life. Everyone is impeccably dressed in velvets and satins and tapestries in rich vibrant colors appropriate for that time period. Everyone is healthy and happy. Some are playing musical instruments and singing. The trees form a bower or canopy over our heads. Sunlight comes through the trees and glistens on the path. There is no danger anywhere in the forest.



frogandtoad
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 31 Oct 2015
Age: 49
Posts: 4
Location: rhode island

05 Nov 2015, 8:14 am

I see this thread is old, but I thought I'd add anyway, because it sounds familiar ;)

I used to repeat the names of anyone I was, or ever had been, romantically interested in, any time I was stressed. I eventually broke myself of the habit when I got married, because it seemed like a bad idea to be listing ex loves...

I also used to repeat Jabberwocky and The Walrus and the Carpenter, along with a few other Lewis Carroll poems, on loop.

Now, I know things are bad when images flash in my mind, right to left, like someone was flipping through photos, but I don't repeat things as much.


_________________
My scores, for what it's worth:
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 180 of 200 Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 25 of 200 You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
My Empathy Quotient (though I deeply object to this! What exactly are they calling empathy?) score is: 12. Which isn't high.