What is it like to have Asperger syndrome

Post Reply New Topic

It means that food with disgusting textures makes me gag, and I won't eat it. (Macaroni and cheese, sushi, etc.)
It means that I've little/no patience for BS.
It means that I agree with Ben Franklin, when he said to let many know you, but to let none know you thoroughly.
It means that any skill I might have at dissembling was a purely learned affair, not instinctual.
It means that my social skills were painstakingly learned through a combination of years of formal training in psychology and sociology, extensive observation, and a great deal of interacting with people, in an attempt to find the underlying order in the apparent chaos which rules their lives. I have no instincts for such things.
It means that I regard most people as irrational automata, programmed by culture and biology to give certain responses to certain stimuli, but completely devoid of genuine thought.
It means that I highly value precision and efficiency.
It means that many of the things most other women find fascinating (movie stars, home decorating, etc.) bores the living hell out of me.
It means that I am an inveterate systemizer, cognitively speaking.
It means that most people "come off" to me as intellectually inferior and emotionally disturbed.
It means that I have no social anxiety. I am confident and extraverted... but that's because I am incapable of caring what 99.9999% of the population thinks of me.
It means that I cannot do things by halves. For any endeavor, I do not half-ass... it's either all or nothing.
It means that noisy neighbors SERIOUSLY piss me off. If even such as I can learn good manners, they have absolutely no excuse to refrain from doing so.
It means I am very literal-minded.
It means I realize that a lot of hurtful "jokes" are not in fact jokes at all, but merely a cowardly way to deliver a cutdown while avoiding the social penalty for doing so. Because I understand the TRUE spirit in which it was said, I immediately retaliate, and they learn not to do that again.
It means that I view the vast majority of humans as experimental subjects, rather than sentient beings.
It means that I have a memory bordering on photographic.
It means that my head is full of pictures of street layouts, the insides of books, the insides of people and animals (I was a bio major at one point), of significant occurrances (and people) in my life, etc. This is probably why I can't understand people who keep photo albums... I keep all that s**t in my head, where it belongs.

In third grade (early 1960s) my class had a finger painting project. I used earthen hues and grays to create a multipanel cartoon. I entitled this cartoon "Moofy the Mooney" after its main character. through several panels Moofy wandered through a typical thrid grader's life. the children were very poorly drawn - one can draw only what one sees. Moofey was a tall, gangly, geeky, sexless outlander. Moofy takes part in none of the children's activities. As i looked at this, my own effort, a few years ago I determined that Moofy would like to go home, but knows not where that home might be.

Now I am 53 and use my skills to design buildings. i sit before my compy's screen most of the time, and generally cringe at the meeting of clients. and I have a terrible time presenting them with my billings at the job's conclusion.

Still Moofy after all these years.

Being an Aspie feels like being the last kid picked for the schoolyard baseball game, only now you're approaching middle age, and instead of baseball, it's careers and women.