my teen son
my son 14yo has had a bad year. the stress of school and home is getting to him, he is acting out in anger and frustration. I am doing eveything I can to help and its getting stressful for even me. transitions have always been hard but the transition to highschool has been hell,he has lost friends and he is failing classes he is on a downward spiral. in his opinion everyone is wanting him to fail and he wish everyonr would just let him do what he wants. He went from being a B-C student to D-f and has it in his head he is dumb. he is far from it he can do the work.
my heart is acking and at a loss to where to go from here
I wish I knew a eazy fix for him because this sucks
I need words of encouragement that it will get better
We're not there yet (my son is 12), so I can't make any reassurances.
I will say it seems like a common time for AS kids to pull out and homeschool. A lot of AS kids just aren't suited to high school.
But that doesn't mean they have to fail at life.
The founder of this site homeschooled for high school. Then went on to succeed in college.
While I cannot say that homeschooling is the right answer for you, I will say that you should try something different. Totally different. Pershaps you and your son can work it out together. Go through his goals, his strengths, his problems. Every little detail. Find and evaluate all the options.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
PaganMom
Sea Gull
Joined: 4 Nov 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 218
Location: Middle Of Nowhere, BFE, The Deep South
My NT 14yo is in 7th grade for the THIRD TIME. He's got ADHD and is on meds now, but he just didn't want to do the work. Still doesn't. He's smart and can do it, it's just a matter of actually doing it. We have tried everything. My oldest son (20) dropped out the third time in the 9th grade. He is NT too, and extremely smart, (tested 152 on an IQ test at Sylvan) but just didn't want to do the work. He dropped out of college too, to move in with this girl who he knocked up and is about to marry soon, we hope. He's doing construction now.
My girls on the other hand, are studious and although not as smart as the boys, get better grades and honors at school.
I guess it's just what each kid is cut out to do is what they do. You have to just roll with it I suppose, and do the best you can with them.
PaganMom
I am not a parent, so all that I can offer by way of encouragement is my own journey:
I was once someone's 14 year old son. Diagnosis with AS was not a possibility at that time (1981-1982, my grade 10 year), but it was nonetheless clear that I was profoundly alienated from my peers; I had very few friends and my evenings were largely spent alone at home.
Today, I have a career, a home and my partner and I have been together for almost 19 years. My life has not been without its challenges, but I have learned behaviours that help me to overcome my social deficits. I hope that he can do the same.
_________________
--James
During high school there were more time that I didn't go to school than time I did. Home schooling is not welcome in Italy but me and my mother advocated with the school to don't count my absence for final exams votes (I had a really bad time with bullying and school was pretty annoying). I basically went to school only to do "tests". My final exams was with full vote (best student of the year ) and now I'm a phisicist
Don't worry.
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Planes are tested by how well they fly, not by comparing them to birds.
My girls on the other hand, are studious and although not as smart as the boys, get better grades and honors at school.
I guess it's just what each kid is cut out to do is what they do. You have to just roll with it I suppose, and do the best you can with them.
PaganMom
Have you ever read the book, "The Trouble with Boys" by Peg Tyre? She basically says that in some ways schools are now setting boys up to fail. I'd like to hear what you think and how her information relates to your own experience.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
ilivinamushroom
Sea Gull
Joined: 29 Sep 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 221
Location: southern oregon
Do they have an alternative program at your sons school? when I was in middle school I had endless trouble with teachers and classmates until I was "punished" by being put in with the "bad kids". This was the best thing that ever happened as I was very intelligent it was just the teachers not understanding me that was the problem, the alternative program had very committed teachers that gave me a flexible program that worked for me. In short my self esteem went up I didnt feel angry and suicidal all day anymore and I ended up graduating.
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