Page 1 of 3 [ 43 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Ambivalence
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,613
Location: Peterlee (for Industry)

04 Dec 2009, 12:19 pm

Quote:
Have/do you obsess over a person?


Not really now, not any more. :wink: I did obsess over people sometimes when I was younger (not very much younger, even) both in pointless-crush and bitter-hatred modes, but I think I'm over doing that now. It's probably because I recognise the signs and the accumulated experience is enough by now to break me out of the pointlessness.


_________________
No one has gone missing or died.

The year is still young.


sartresue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,313
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism

04 Dec 2009, 4:20 pm

Watch your back topic

When I was 17 I jumped on a big guy's back (I knew him in a professional sense). I remember it in a detached way, my literally jumping on his back, and wrapping my arms around his neck. His wife watched me. The guy, who was a social worker, must have been early thirties. Now that I think about it I was trying to behave in a normal teenage mode. Though I was not obsessed over him, my behaviour might have indicated otherwise.

It was a stupid and uncharacteristic act on my part. (I mentioned it because you spoke of back-jumping, and this triggered the memory. Not a great one. :roll: )

I have obsessed over guys but I thought they were crushes. Thankfully I have no more interest in guy obsessions. :D


_________________
Radiant Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind

Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory

NOT a believer of Mystic Woo-Woo


ThatRedHairedGrrl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2008
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 912
Location: Walking through a shopping mall listening to Half Japanese on headphones

04 Dec 2009, 4:50 pm

Yes. Generally people I don't or can't know, and it's a role model thing.

When I was younger, though, I used to get obsessed with guys at college, and it caused a huge amount of misery because while I rarely dared to tell them, I always gave it away through my actions. And they were never interested in me.


_________________
"Grunge? Isn't that some gross shade of greenish orange?"


FallingStar
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 44
Location: Out there

04 Dec 2009, 8:48 pm

Whenever I have a "crush" on a guy, I obsess over him. It's really quite dreadful, because, during this time, there is nothing else that I want to think about or talk about. It sends me into deep depression, actually. This time, I'm trying to fight it. I find that it helps to completely avoid the person until the obsession subsides. Of course, I can't explain that to the guy in question, but seeing as they never return my feelings, I doubt they would care anyway.



passionatebach
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 440
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa

05 Dec 2009, 11:17 am

I have been obsessed with people since the second grade.

When I was in elementary/middle school, I often would obesess over a person due to a number of reasons. A couple that come to mind are, they looked like a character on a TV show/movie, that I liked, or they had a life experience that I was obsessed with them over.

One of my obsessions with a particular individual lasted off and on 20 years. First, it had to do with the fact that he looked like a TV character, I started befriending him and and family assisted him out of poverty and a bad homelife, and the obsession later had to do with how he pulled himself up by the bootstraps and became a successful person in the community. I still often wonder how he did it.

Later on, my obsessions were over people whom I found to be successful, had a romatic or friendship interest with, or had a contentious relationship with (why did the relationship go bad). Many times one or two of these factors were involved.

I have also noticed that when I am around a person or group that I am obsessed with, I have a tendency to act "flighty." I am not sure what causes these behaviors.

Does anyone know of a way to not be obsessed with people? This to me is one of the worst symptoms of my AS. The only way it seems like I have been able to move on from an obsession, is to become obessed with another person. Does anyone have any "cures" or coping strategies?



RampionRampage
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 743
Location: Greater Philly Area, PA

05 Dec 2009, 11:50 am

passionatebach wrote:
Does anyone know of a way to not be obsessed with people? This to me is one of the worst symptoms of my AS. The only way it seems like I have been able to move on from an obsession, is to become obessed with another person. Does anyone have any "cures" or coping strategies?


When it's because the person is angry at me and treating me like crap, the only strategy I've found is to kick them out of my life. I have emails from formerly awesome friends that I have not read, to this day. They got filtered into a specific folder. I block their email (some folks, I filter so that it forwards to a friend of mine who is able to determine if there may be something worth dealing with, like they backed down or apologized or whatever). I shut them out entirely, so that I can deal with my feelings without having them rekindled constantly. Eventually it eases up. Some of them can still cause me to loop for a few hours but mostly, it works.

If it's someone you see regularly. I have no idea how to cope. None. I wish I did.

ETA: the blocking-out method is for toxic situations - not because my friend pissed me off by some off-color remark. we're talking about when they are causing seriously unhealthy side effects to my life.


_________________
As of 2-06-08 --- Axis I: Asperger's Disorder | Axis III: Hearing Impaired
My store: http://www.etsy.com/rampionrampage


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,298
Location: Stalag 13

05 Dec 2009, 12:28 pm

I obsess over my role model, Mick Avory of The Kinks from time to time. It's pretty hard not to, whenever I look in the mirror, being that I look like him. 8)


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


Odin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,475
Location: Moorhead, Minnesota, USA

05 Dec 2009, 5:01 pm

Earlier this year I obsessed and fussed over a good friend with Cerebral Palsy who had been raped. :cry:


I currently obsessed with an Aspie chick at work I have a huge crush on. :mrgreen:


_________________
My Blog: My Autistic Life


beejay
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 236
Location: Wilmington, North Carolina

05 Dec 2009, 9:43 pm

From the 3rd Grade onwards, there was always some girl with whom I was obsessed; I never told any of them how I felt (then and now, I assume that there's nobody who would be attracted to me, so what was the point?), but I couldn't stop thinking about them. I don't really have an obsession right now; that's probably because I don't get out much.


_________________
My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball; but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!


caissa
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 130

05 Dec 2009, 10:14 pm

Interesting people have mentioned 2nd and 3rd grade, this is when my obsessions with people also started-- the full fledged obsessions, at grade 2. I have found these people-obsessions to be the most difficult and potentially embarrassing aspect of AS. However, I must admit, that since learning it's "just the AS" my obsessions with people have gone from "unbearable" to just "painful." Somehow it helps knowing this is just a fluke of my brain running in circles and perseverating.

I wish I could control it better-- say CHOOSE whom I'm obsessed with, but the obsession-mechanism has a mind of its own and I can't control it.



mechanicalgirl39
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,340

06 Dec 2009, 8:32 am

Yup I have this. Usually it's with another female who I look up to.

I am good at managing it, though. It mostly just takes the form of obsessing inside my head. Though I did once start wearing clothes with thick monochrome stripes because a girl I admired wore them, but I never had anything worse happen.


_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)


Craftbot
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: Columbus, Ohio

06 Dec 2009, 10:15 am

I do this too. Currently I am obsessing over the psychologist that diagnosed my AS. Most likely I will never see him again, but I can't stop thinking about him. I don't know if it's a crush or what, because I am in a relationship with a female partner so it doesn't make sense to me. I hope it goes away soon, because it is bothering me.



Woodpeace
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 474
Location: Lancashire, England

06 Dec 2009, 10:17 am

I have obsessed over people.



Craig28
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,258

13 Jul 2010, 5:31 pm

Just over a couple of months ago, the outreach company where I am an AS client took on some new staff and I was told about them. A few weeks later, I met them both. Zoe was 31 and Helen 40. After 2 hours, I had to choose one as my befriender. I chose Helen. As usual, being AS, I went with the one that I clicked with the most during the time and thats when it kind of happened.

We went out a couple of times and I found myself getting very attracted towards her, I would often sneak a little peak at her and give myself a little smile. Physically, she is very pretty, everything I would go for. I also liked the way she treats me - kind, considerate and easy to talk to. Through my life, a lot of people have treated me horribly and it was obvious that nice Helen would become something good in my life. Soon after, I completely fell apart - I found myself missing her so intensely when we were apart and I would often count the days to when I next saw her. At the same time, I was also experiencing money issues and other personal problems, so its not suprising really that I went so low. I knew that I had to get better, so I get in touch with a very good and understanding mate who works for the company and who knew Helen and I told him about my feelings and he told me that it was all about being human and caring towards others. I told him that I knew the boundaries and would never cross that line into dangerous ground. I know of Helen's circumstances and would do nothing to harm that. Ever. I even started putting my mind into other things, and would often go walking to get fitter and to analyze my feelings. I found some amazing things out about myself, things that go right back to childhood: my lifelong obsessions/infatuations over women. I even know most of their names and compiled a secret list to analyze and understand. I analyzed what I like about her physically and not once did I ever think about anything inappropiate. I don't view her that way. Also, my lack of sex during the earlier years really hurt my personal growth, so as an adult, I am compensating by behaving the way I am. Recently, I had some and it really helped me focus more on different things.

Recently, she was ill and I didn't see her for 2 weeks. That was okay because I got over my infatuation with her and when I saw her earlier today, I was buzzing with excitement. I still like her, but don't want these feelings getting me down. Even she would hate to see me get sad over anything. Towards the end of this weeks time, I found myself getting sad that we had to part, just like before when I missed her intensely. I think its because of the 2 week gap. Time will heal all things, by christmas hopefully. We get on so well, I've given her a lot of insight into the job that she does - dealing with AS people. She really appreciates that. I see her again next Tuesday and until then I'll carry on focusing on other things like my movies and shopping, and analyze further on my daily walks. It ain't over til its over, there's still things to explore and I can take pride that I am being very mature about sorting myself out. I've been very brave and went through massive trauma. The journey continues, but by Christmas, things should be concluded. :D



IdahoRose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,801
Location: The Gem State

13 Jul 2010, 6:31 pm

I do. I'm obsessed with my former best friend; and I have been for about 7 or 8 years, since the day I first laid eyes on her. We're no longer on speaking terms in reality, but we are still friends in my dreams. I have also loosely modeled one of my original characters after her, so we get to interact in my imagination as well.



rmctagg09
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 422
Location: Brooklyn, NY

13 Jul 2010, 7:07 pm

Many times, due to infatuation. I'm actually in the middle of one of those periods right now with a girl in my anthropology class who I noticed was a big Nintendo fan. Unfortunately, I've repeated the same mistakes despite my attempts not to and I believe she thinks I'm a stalker. Fun, huh?