How to stop negative, self destructive thinking patterns?

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Woodfish
Deinonychus
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09 Dec 2009, 4:52 pm

poopylungstuffing wrote:
I go through periods of time where I feel so badly about myself that I wish that I didn't exist. I know I can't commit suicide because i had a young cousin who committed suicide and having two kids from the same generation do it would be a major tragedy for my family...but in the mean time, while waiting for it to happen naturally, what do I do about the deep feelings of isolation and the sadness and shame in myself that causes me to hurt other people and whatnot?


just saying what works for me .. right now .. right this second.

i lie down in darkness or low light .. listening to nice warm music .. not too loud and not too soft .. right now "Beginner's Guide to Banghra" works for me, for some reason.

also .. a few weeks ago an image appeared to me. it was a baby monkey. i think maybe a post card i have on the fridge door inspired me:

Image

somehow seeing that cute and very defenseless baby monkey helps me a lot! :) maybe helps me feel sympathy for myself .. i imagine i try to take good care of the baby monkey. make him feel safe and loved. happy and playful. exploring and alive.

this works for me .. lying there in near darkness immersed in warm rythms .. daring to try to face the pain and sadness .. in my experience facing the pain will make it grow weaker or even go away. but maybe that's because of the decades of therapy i've done .. my expereince is facing the pain and processing it will release me. seeing the baby monkey makes me warm to myself, i think. feel tenderness towards my own shortcomings ...


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If we concentrate on accepting ourselves, change will happen. It will take care of itself. Self-acceptance is so hard to get you can't do it a day at a time. I've found that I need to run my life five minutes at a time. --Jess Lair


Odin
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09 Dec 2009, 11:45 pm

Meditation helps a lot in my experience.

Beginner Theravada Buddhist meditation:

Sit upright but relaxed in a chair (or a meditation cushion if you have one).

Either close your eyes or have them half-open if having your eyes closed with cause you to doze off.

Pay attention to your breathing, either the sensation of air through your nostrils or the sensations of the expanding and contracting of your abdomen and/or chest. Do not force attention, just maintain an awareness of your breathing.

If a thought, emotion, or mental image distracts you, note it and return attention to your breathing.


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moknin
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10 Dec 2009, 7:46 am

I would try to socialize with even more people than I was before the depression
because I felt the whole thing of anxiety and depression is that it prevents one from socializing
When you are anxious/ depressed, you would fear to socialize. if you cease to socialize, you felt alone. Finally if you felt alone, you felt more anxious/ depress
Of course you dont necessarily need to talk about your depression in the first place
Just talk with peoples with whether topic to get rid of loneliness and hopefully resolve the depression