Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

kingtut3
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 354

12 Dec 2009, 5:43 pm

I don't understand what makes two-people "fall in love" or like each other as "more than friends." Could someone please explain it? There seems to have to be something there that no one could explain.



Tahitiii
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2008
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,214
Location: USA

12 Dec 2009, 5:57 pm

Chemistry. A big chunk of it is a mixture of hormones, social fictions, superstition.
Some people just make it up as they go along.
Others don't know and don't want to know that everyone's playing by a different set of rules and definitions.
Some say what they think you want to hear just to get laid.
Some hear what they want to hear and ignore what you actually say...



willa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 994
Location: between bannings.

12 Dec 2009, 6:18 pm

Tahitiii wrote:
superstition.


I think that one word sums up the meaning of "falling in love" pretty perfectly.


_________________
?It's a sad thing not to have friends, but it is even sadder not to have enemies.? - El Che


jc6chan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,257
Location: Waterloo, ON, Canada

12 Dec 2009, 6:48 pm

Sorry I was being too brief, but this is what I think...

-The two people starts out knowing each other and hangs out frequently because of various reasons such as school, church, etc...
-Sometimes, when the two realizes that they get along with each other very well and are close friends, they may decide to start a relationship

I'm no expert on relationships so ya, thats about all I will say



BetsyRath
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 13 Nov 2009
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 194

12 Dec 2009, 7:22 pm

Much of it is chemistry. There has been a lot of research on this particularly the past 5 - 10 years. I'm not sure where AS comes into the straight human chemistry, but there is a lot of science behind it. When I first began seeing Mr. Rath (my aspie husband), I was so attracted to him I felt sometimes like I would pass out, or throw up. (but in a good way). I daydreamed about him, and I loved the smell of him. I asked him once about our chemistry (in email) and in his typical fashion, he understood me to be speaking about cold medicine and gave me a rundown on the chemical properties. I said hmmm... no, I am talking about metaphysics.

Anyway, the other day after a thread here on "love" I asked him if remembers that he felt that powerful chemistry. He said no, he did not. Although he found me very attractive it took him longer to feel a pull, or draw, to think about me when I was not there and it wasn't for a long time that he felt really in love-in love.

So? Not sure how much of this is also nonverbal or being highly intuitive.



CTBill
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Oct 2008
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 514
Location: Connecticut, USA

13 Dec 2009, 12:11 am

David Byrne questioned it too:

http://www.talking-heads.nl/index.php/t ... s-and-food

(See "I'm Not in Love" about 2/3 down the page.)

More songs! More buildings! More food! :D



kingtut3
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 354

13 Dec 2009, 3:24 pm

I think I got this. A person might like another person as a friend if they find that they can get along. For them, to like someone as more then a friend, they have to like that person at an even higher level. Closeness leads to that higher level. Is that how it works?