What was your first kiss like?
I have met someone on the net and I'm going to see her in the end of next month or if it get's in the start of february next year. There's much which is going to happen for me, so I have some plans. We have had contact since summer of this year and we've shared a lot together.
I really hope it works out for you. I met most of my exes in a similar way (although it never took me more than a month to arrange a date).
Do you know whether she has strong feelings for you? Has she had boyfriends before? Is she confident about herself? It's really important to keep all this in mind if you meet because if she's confident and experienced you may let her make the first move (my first ex made the first move on our first date), however if she's inexperienced and insecure she will expect you to make a move even though you're inexperienced and insecure herself. If you've never even kissed a single girl, this will be quite a challenge...
Personally I haven't had any real benefits from experiences with psychologists either, so I understand your sentiment. Nevertheless, it is really important that you learn how to cope with your social anxieties and get out there communicating with people. Personally I'm a very extraverted person and never really had any major social anxieties except for talking to girls my age I liked (and I still often feel uncomfortable talking to good-looking women I don't know) but I nevertheless had to overcome the same social deficiencies all Aspies face and only by practicing as much as I could was I able to get a more or less normal social life both at work and in private. Most people will always consider me a weirdo, but as long as they see me as a sympathetic weirdo I don't mind.....
I also tend to avoid situations I don't like as much as possible. Tasks that are a burden to me are usually postponed until I can no longer postpone them and I avoid going out just for the sake of going out as well. Nevertheless, when things are really important for my personal development in one way or another (e.g. social events at work or getting my household in shape) I try to force myself to put in an extra effort and nevertheless do the things I hate. You will graduately get used to it and find ways to incorporate them into your live, but it will take discipline and perseverence to get there.
If it's not anxiety (or neurosis), then what's stopping you for being more socially active? Just a lack of interests?
The effects probably differ from person to person, but in my case :
-- It raised my serotonine level up to a point I stay genuinely happy for about 3 days.
-- Depending on the dosage, I saw a variety of weird closed-eye visuals and in some cases even open-eye visuals. If you're mentally unstable, this might be dangerous and could cause psychosis.
-- It lasts for at least 8 hours, so you should take it in the afternoon during a weekend or a day off.
-- I had no signs of addiction at all.
-- Colors get brighter and your environment starts twirling a bit
-- You have more access to your subconscious and your consciousness feels almost unlimited, but your ability to speak coherent sentences and your ability to control your body is reduced (e.g. less hand-eye coordination or poorer blatter control).
-- The effect of music and film is different and more powerful.
It's pretty hard to describe all the effects, but this should give an idea.
That is a good question. I would say: lack of interest and also I often have suspicions that it's gonna cost some money as well, and so I generally don't feel very good about it.
I trained martial arts a few years ago, and it was something which involved both personal development and the social part, I stopped because of health reasons and because of my low economy.
I enjoy spending much of my time on internet and investigating new technologies and I'm also extremely interested in science in different fields. I'm not sure what social events that I would feel very comfortable about.
More math studies from my part in the beginning of next year, it's the most social thing I can think of.. Hmm.. I'm not religious either which excludes everything in that as well.
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/Bear Spirit, undiagnosed: AvPD and SPD
You will eventually get used to it if you expose yourself enough to certain social situations.
Those sound like valid reasons.
I prefer spending time with people who have above-average intelligence, a broad range of interests and a very open mind. With that kind of people, I can discuss pretty much any topic freely. They're hard to find, though, but it's nevertheless worth finding such people.
You shouldn't look for specific cliques, clubs or groups of people but rather for individuals with similar interests and/or similar perspectives. If you focus on groups of people rather than individuals, you'll never really get a strong connection with anyone.....
Inaccurate as to the reason, but correct in that the continued discussion regarding the use of illegal drugs is not appropriate - especially where children are able to access that conversation.
M.
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My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.
For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
Inaccurate as to the reason, but correct in that the continued discussion regarding the use of illegal drugs is not appropriate - especially where children are able to access that conversation.
So you're succumbing to the fears of less openminded people (which may include yourself)... After all, children would only benefit from honest information (including both pros and cons) about topics like drugs before they get old enough to hang out with "bad friends" and smoke pot behind your back. Why do you insist on hiding information from children when that information will be useful for them when they get to make certain choices later in life? You make it appear as if I'm some kind of street cocaine peddler or something while I'm just suggesting a fair and honest debate on topics like drugs.
I believe it is habitually addictive, rather than chemically addictive. For example- if you take it to go to parties you will get to the point you can't go to a party without taking it. You crave it so you can enjoy the party. If you stopped going to parties then there would be little desire to take it.
It can also cause synaesthesia ("seeing" sound, "hearing" colour, etc). Seems that any you buy off the street should not be enough for an overdose.
I believe the biggest risk is taking it for the first time. You experience things differently and if you are not expecting it you can panic. If one were to try the drug then it would be a good idea to expect to see funky things and feel different and just "let go" and accept it.
This question was pleasing, I had a reason to look up wikipedia!
I would personally never suggest LSD as a party-drug anyway...
Obviously...
SpongeBobRocksMao
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Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,774
Location: SpongeBob's Pineapple (England really!)
My first kiss was actually on my second date or so -- the first date, which was semi-chaperoned, she had groped me you-know-where, and this was finally our first time alone together since then. I picked her up in my parents car, and we had our moment.
The kiss itself was awkward -- I didn't know what I was doing, wasn't good at it, and I don't think she was either, despite having more experience than me. More exciting was that I was finally getting a kiss, and that I was being groped (again). In retrospect it wasn't nearly as romantic or good as other first kisses with other people, but it was still very nice and memorable in a carnal, "I never did this before" kind of way. And given the kind of suffering and self-doubt I had been plagued with (and sadly would be revisited by years later), it was a nice affirmation of myself as a valid person in this world and someone who might actually be liked by the opposite sex.
That the way I view it, anyways.
You're 30 and you've never even "tongued" a girl?!?
That's right.
Tonguing sucks, kissing is much more passionate and enjoyable.
I've tried a couple of times. It's weird, and uncomfortable. I'm not sure how exactly it's supposed to be done, but it wasn't like anything i;ve seen or read about. :/
I was 13 or so. A boy in my neighborhood (we'd gone to day camp together) baked me some cookies and invited me to sit with him on his porch. A few cookies later, he shyly kissed me, then ran into his house leaving me with the cookies.
It was confusing but rather lovely. I think he was confused too.
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Vivienne
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Joined: 22 Dec 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I was 17 (old for my crowd, very old) and it was my friends (best friend? crush? 'he likes me' guy?) 16th birthday. Snuck over to his place and brought him a mickey of tequila, which we drank supplemented with his parents liquor. Chilled with our feet in the hot tub for awhile. Talked.
As I was leaving (he got aggressive sexually with me shortly before) he asked for a kiss. So I kissed him.
I was mixed between being happy I had kissed him and scared cuz he was about ready to rape me - I needed to leave!
He could have become something more, but I was too messed up to handle something so "simple" as a guy who liked me.
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Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift"
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