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RICKY5
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31 Dec 2009, 1:24 am

Google "Sam Kinison" "Marriage" if you ever mope about being single.

It will instantly cheer you up!

:twisted:



RICKY5
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31 Dec 2009, 1:35 am

Hector wrote:
If I go on to pursue my ambition of a career in academia I can't imagine it mattering all that much that I'm single.

There are people who lived very accomplished lives with their virginity, among other things, seemingly very much intact. Examples include Isaac Newton, Immanuel Kant and Paul Erdos. But it's not so much about them and whether they were fine with that, the question is if you're fine with it.

Personally I'm not OK with the notion of being single all my life, but it wouldn't have a direct effect on my ability and success. An indirect one, perhaps, like say if I were to suffer from depression.


If things get rough with the whole virgin gig, you can always hire an escort. Hell some of them might be working to put themselves through college anyway!



Hector
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31 Dec 2009, 7:59 am

RICKY5 wrote:
If things get rough with the whole virgin gig, you can always hire an escort. Hell some of them might be working to put themselves through college anyway!

It isn't an idea that appeals to me much; without going into all the reasons why I don't believe hiring an escort would be suitable, see my post in this thread.



dddhgg
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31 Dec 2009, 8:05 am

Hector wrote:
If I go on to pursue my ambition of a career in academia I can't imagine it mattering all that much that I'm single.

There are people who lived very accomplished lives with their virginity, among other things, seemingly very much intact. Examples include Isaac Newton, Immanuel Kant and Paul Erdos. But it's not so much about them and whether they were fine with that, the question is if you're fine with it.

Personally I'm not OK with the notion of being single all my life, but it wouldn't have a direct effect on my ability and success. An indirect one, perhaps, like say if I were to suffer from depression.


Well, the sexologist Havelock Ellis had something different to say about some of the people you named:

Quote:
Many advocates of sexual abstinence have attached importance to the fact that men of great genius have apparently been completely continent throughout life. This is certainly true (see ante, p. 173). But this fact can scarcely be invoked as an argument in favor of the advantages of sexual abstinence among the ordinary population. J. F. Scott selects Jesus, Newton, Beethoven, and Kant as "men of vigor and mental acumen who have lived chastely as bachelors." It cannot, however, be said that Dr. Scott has been happy in the four figures whom he has been able to select from the whole history of human genius as examples of life-long sexual abstinence. We know little with absolute certainty of Jesus, and even if we reject the diagnosis which Professor Binet-Sanglé (in his Folie de Jesus) has built up from a minute study of the Gospels, there are many reasons why we should refrain from emphasizing the example of his sexual abstinence; Newton, apart from his stupendous genius in a special field, was an incomplete and unsatisfactory human being who ultimately reached a condition very like insanity; Beethoven was a thoroughly morbid and diseased man, who led an intensely unhappy existence; Kant, from first to last, was a feeble valetudinarian. It would probably be difficult to find a healthy normal man who would voluntarily accept the life led by any of these four, even as the price of their fame.


From: Studies in the Psychology of Sex, vol. 6.


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Hector
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31 Dec 2009, 8:18 am

"Newton, apart from his stupendous genius in a special field, was an incomplete and unsatisfactory human being who ultimately reached a condition very like insanity". And yet, Newton was a very powerful academic figure even past the point where he had much left to contribute to physics, and was never (as far as I'm aware) put in an asylum. It seems like Ellis is showing his biases here.

I'm not saying these people are just like you and me, but they were successful and their lives did not end in tragedy.



DarthRic
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31 Dec 2009, 8:54 am

Salonfilosoof wrote:
Another option I would be willing to contemplate is being the male part of a bi-sexual relationship with two women, however I'm sure that's pretty much every man's wet dream :wink:

This made me lol :P

On a more serious note, I think I could live my life perfectly well without finding a significant other, but I imagine I would be a lot happier in the long run if I did. Not saying its necessary just saying it would be nice



GoonSquad
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31 Dec 2009, 9:07 am

Having been married for 5 years, I can say marriage is way too demanding and stressful for me.

I was happiest in my early 30s in a relationship with a widow in her late 30s.

She was financially independent and wanted to set a good example for her kids, so there was no pressure to cohabitate. We'd have 2-3 sleepover dates a week and the rest of the time was my own. :D

Ah... wish I could find another one like that!! ! BUT, if I don't, I can content myself with school and the (very) occasional fling.


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dddhgg
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31 Dec 2009, 9:23 am

Hector wrote:
"Newton, apart from his stupendous genius in a special field, was an incomplete and unsatisfactory human being who ultimately reached a condition very like insanity". And yet, Newton was a very powerful academic figure even past the point where he had much left to contribute to physics, and was never (as far as I'm aware) put in an asylum. It seems like Ellis is showing his biases here.

I'm not saying these people are just like you and me, but they were successful and their lives did not end in tragedy.


Newton, always a bit of a recluse, had a very serious nervous breakdown in the 1690s in which his paranoia (which always had been an undercurrent in his personality) erupted with full intensity and alienated all his friends, such as Locke and Pepys, whom he accused, in a very confused letter, of plotting against him. After this he left physics and became Master of the Mint, in which capacity he persecuted coiners with a zeal which almost bordered on sadism. Also, his persecution and intense hatred of Leibniz in the 1710s (with him writing anonymously the so-called objective official report on Leibniz's alleged plagiarism) seems to have contained more than a trace of sadism. It has been speculated that Newton's mental problems were due to mercury poisoning - he was also a fanatic alchemist after all. Perhaps Ellis stated his point too sharply, but to call Newton mentally healthy isn't very faithful to historic fact. If he hadn't been so rich and powerful, they certainly would have put him in an asylum. Rich people rarely are committed.


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lotusblossom
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31 Dec 2009, 9:38 am

dddhgg wrote:
Hector wrote:
"Newton, apart from his stupendous genius in a special field, was an incomplete and unsatisfactory human being who ultimately reached a condition very like insanity". And yet, Newton was a very powerful academic figure even past the point where he had much left to contribute to physics, and was never (as far as I'm aware) put in an asylum. It seems like Ellis is showing his biases here.

I'm not saying these people are just like you and me, but they were successful and their lives did not end in tragedy.


Newton, always a bit of a recluse, had a very serious nervous breakdown in the 1690s in which his paranoia (which always had been an undercurrent in his personality) erupted with full intensity and alienated all his friends, such as Locke and Pepys, whom he accused, in a very confused letter, of plotting against him. After this he left physics and became Master of the Mint, in which capacity he persecuted coiners with a zeal which almost bordered on sadism. Also, his persecution and intense hatred of Leibniz in the 1710s (with him writing anonymously the so-called objective official report on Leibniz's alleged plagiarism) seems to have contained more than a trace of sadism. It has been speculated that Newton's mental problems were due to mercury poisoning - he was also a fanatic alchemist after all. Perhaps Ellis stated his point too sharply, but to call Newton mentally healthy isn't very faithful to historic fact. If he hadn't been so rich and powerful, they certainly would have put him in an asylum. Rich people rarely are committed.


yes I still think Newtons life sounds good, never underestimate the value of not getting put in an asylum when your nuts! We would all be better off if we were rich victorians :? it would have been lovely to live like Darwin, Halley and Wilde, not working, persuing special interests and being rude to people :D



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31 Dec 2009, 10:03 am

I would be living as a singleton inside my own mind even with long-term partners. They would be in the background taking care of the housework, letting me get on with my own thing most of the day. It is impossible to plan anything, I have found. These situations always happen to me by accident. They were not proper romances. They were also very atypical in that neither of us would desire marriage or children, and I forbade the setting up of joint accounts.



dddhgg
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31 Dec 2009, 10:21 am

Quote:
yes I still think Newtons life sounds good, never underestimate the value of not getting put in an asylum when your nuts! We would all be better off if we were rich victorians :? it would have been lovely to live like Darwin, Halley and Wilde, not working, persuing special interests and being rude to people :D


LOL. :D You forget the best part though: having lots of servants (presumably all NTs) to order around.


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01 Jan 2010, 3:38 am

dddhgg wrote:
Hector wrote:
"Newton, apart from his stupendous genius in a special field, was an incomplete and unsatisfactory human being who ultimately reached a condition very like insanity". And yet, Newton was a very powerful academic figure even past the point where he had much left to contribute to physics, and was never (as far as I'm aware) put in an asylum. It seems like Ellis is showing his biases here.

I'm not saying these people are just like you and me, but they were successful and their lives did not end in tragedy.


Newton, always a bit of a recluse, had a very serious nervous breakdown in the 1690s in which his paranoia (which always had been an undercurrent in his personality) erupted with full intensity and alienated all his friends, such as Locke and Pepys, whom he accused, in a very confused letter, of plotting against him. After this he left physics and became Master of the Mint, in which capacity he persecuted coiners with a zeal which almost bordered on sadism. Also, his persecution and intense hatred of Leibniz in the 1710s (with him writing anonymously the so-called objective official report on Leibniz's alleged plagiarism) seems to have contained more than a trace of sadism. It has been speculated that Newton's mental problems were due to mercury poisoning - he was also a fanatic alchemist after all. Perhaps Ellis stated his point too sharply, but to call Newton mentally healthy isn't very faithful to historic fact. If he hadn't been so rich and powerful, they certainly would have put him in an asylum. Rich people rarely are committed.


I learned a lot of interesting history by reading this conversation. Thanks heaps!


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