Difference between flirting and just being nice

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billsmithglendale
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04 Jan 2010, 6:13 pm

Juan wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:

If he's far away from you, well, how do you know anything about him? Do you mean he's far away like across the room, across the building, or across the country?

Also, just curious -- I notice you have a male name. If you're asking on behalf of yourself (perhaps you're gay), I believe gay men have slightly different rules on flirting and what things mean. It is probably similar, but not exactly the same (easier in some ways, from what I've heard and seen).


No, no, no, no.
It's spanish name for male.
But I'm from China.
Juan is a female's name in China which means beautiful.

And for that questio, I just asked.
Right now I don't have that kind of person try to flirt or be kind to me.


Ah, ok. I love Chinese women, btw, my favorite folks to date when I was single, and still a good source of female friends now.

The cultural barrier will make it harder -- I've noticed that people from the mainland (and please don't take offense) tend to be somewhat more naive compared to their Taiwanese counterparts, and especially in Western nations where the rules about eye contact and what constitutes what meaning are different.

Men like to make a lot of eye contact. If you keep making eye contact with them and smiling (outside of a normal conversation), they will think you are interested.

If you mean that the guy is far away, like across the ocean, he flirts by always wanting to talk to you all the time. He will constantly send e-mails, start chatting about personal things, and also ask you increasingly personal questions.

Does this help, or would you like more info? If so, please be a bit more specific about your question.



Juan
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04 Jan 2010, 6:36 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
If you mean that the guy is far away, like across the ocean, he flirts by always wanting to talk to you all the time. He will constantly send e-mails, start chatting about personal things, and also ask you increasingly personal questions.

Does this help, or would you like more info? If so, please be a bit more specific about your question.


Thank you very much!
My problems now is not to make clear if there is someone is flirting me or not.
My problems is I just did some stupid things to push a man I really like away from me.
As I really like him a lot.
I don't know if I have to just leave him alone and let him find another person he thinks more suitable.
Or I have to do things to regain his interests.

As I konw there are different opinions:

Someone said that, if you love a man, please give him what he wants.
If he wants to leave, then let him do it.

Someone said that, I have to be with you.
Because I love you so much, and I know there will be no one loves you as I do.



billsmithglendale
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04 Jan 2010, 6:41 pm

Juan wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
If you mean that the guy is far away, like across the ocean, he flirts by always wanting to talk to you all the time. He will constantly send e-mails, start chatting about personal things, and also ask you increasingly personal questions.

Does this help, or would you like more info? If so, please be a bit more specific about your question.


Thank you very much!
My problems now is not to make clear if there is someone is flirting me or not.
My problems is I just did some stupid things to push a man I really like away from me.
As I really like him a lot.
I don't know if I have to just leave him alone and let him find another person he thinks more suitable.
Or I have to do things to regain his interests.

As I konw there are different opinions:

Someone said that, if you love a man, please give him what he wants.
If he wants to leave, then let him do it.

Someone said that, I have to be with you.
Because I love you so much, and I know there will be no one loves you as I do.


Yes -- I agree with the first person, just leave him alone. Sometimes we really want someone and think they are perfect for us, but they don't agree :( Sadly, there's not much you can do about that, and would you really want to? If the feelings are not there for them inside, there is nothing you can do, and even if they like you as a friend, they may not love you or be attracted to you like you would want.

So -- leave them alone, find other people, and pretty much get it firm in your mind that they will never love you like that -- don't keep hope alive. Instead, find someone who will love you for who you are. It hurts now, but you will feel better in the long run.



Juan
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04 Jan 2010, 6:44 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
So -- leave them alone, find other people, and pretty much get it firm in your mind that they will never love you like that -- don't keep hope alive. Instead, find someone who will love you for who you are. It hurts now, but you will feel better in the long run.


Thank you very much!
Maybe leave him alone is a better choise.
I think so.
If he really want me, I think he will be back by himself.



Hector
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06 Jan 2010, 10:15 am

Many women flirt because they like to flirt, so telling whether or not the flirting means anything is often impossible - and beyond accepting the words of others, asking them out is a bit of a toss-up.

Men, on the other hand, usually tend to be either too shy or careful to show their attraction, or pretty transparent about who they're attracted to.



Erlend
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09 Jan 2010, 2:48 am

Juan wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
So -- leave them alone, find other people, and pretty much get it firm in your mind that they will never love you like that -- don't keep hope alive. Instead, find someone who will love you for who you are. It hurts now, but you will feel better in the long run.


Thank you very much!
Maybe leave him alone is a better choise.
I think so.
If he really want me, I think he will be back by himself.


But didn't you say that you pushed him away yourself? Maybe he thinks you don't like him. It looks like he should use this logic, not you :). You pushed him away -- you don't like him -- if he likes you he can still decide to leave you alone.

I think billsmithglendale missed the part where you said

Juan wrote:
My problems is I just did some stupid things to push a man I really like away from me.


(You can disregard this for all the experience I have, but anyway :))


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