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Ambivalence
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29 Jan 2010, 10:06 am

I find it very strange that anyone should judge a potential partner by their nationality. :? :?: At best you could (with reservations) use the stereotype to form some idea of what they'd be like before you had any contact with them, but once you were in touch with them, your direct observation of their character is of much greater value than whatever you thought beforehand!


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MissConstrue
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29 Jan 2010, 10:23 am

Ambivalence wrote:
I find it very strange that anyone should judge a potential partner by their nationality. :? :?: At best you could (with reservations) use the stereotype to form some idea of what they'd be like before you had any contact with them, but once you were in touch with them, your direct observation of their character is of much greater value than whatever you thought beforehand!


I most definitely agree but some people seem to build up these beliefs which can skew their logic. It seems there are a lot of frustrated men who think the grass is greener on the other side so they aim for "the type of women" who will accept them as potential partners. They have it in their head that it's not them but rather the women or outside sources that are at fault. I think women tend to internalize their frustrations whereas men tend to externalize them. This kind of thinking is not so different whenever we build up perceptions in how our lives would be fullfilled if only we were living in a certain country, having a specific house, having a great income, etc. Some of these notions may be partially true but really as I've found you can never escape yourself from the underlining causes of why it is one feels the way they do.


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caledonia
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29 Jan 2010, 12:58 pm

From an early age we are indoctrinated to believe we belong to a certain nation or a certain religion. No-one tell us who we really belong to, ourselves. If we realise that, maybe we can be more accepting of others?



Vyn
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29 Jan 2010, 2:21 pm

There's also the attraction of the unknown and rare. The attraction of having something (in this case, someone) that the other people around you don't have. When someone says exotic, they always mean someone different from where they are. Exotic to a latino could be black, an exotic to an arabian could be an american, and exotic to an aussie could be a jamaican. (And an Jamaican guy+Aussie chick just seems like a really funny combo to me for some reason)

Of course, my romantic interests simply tend to the unique. Unique in mind normally, but there is attraction to uniqueness in appearance admittedly. At least, that explanation fits my attraction to woman shown as ruthless (a very uncommon female quality I've found) and to non-human women as well.


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Allan
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05 Apr 2010, 8:20 am

For me it's Canadians, Australians, and British. Probably because American girls have screwed me over time after time.



happymusic
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05 Apr 2010, 5:14 pm

I like them all :)



ToadOfSteel
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05 Apr 2010, 5:47 pm

Vyn wrote:
There's also the attraction of the unknown and rare. The attraction of having something (in this case, someone) that the other people around you don't have. When someone says exotic, they always mean someone different from where they are. Exotic to a latino could be black, an exotic to an arabian could be an american, and exotic to an aussie could be a jamaican. (And an Jamaican guy+Aussie chick just seems like a really funny combo to me for some reason)


This.

"Exotic" is merely another name for "unknown". And because the average human tends to like exploring the unknown, there is a certain mystique to people from other cultures. But once you get to know that culture, the "exotic" status disappears. Maybe that culture might have some different social "unwritten rules" that might be more conducive to aspies in some areas and less in others, but overall the level of difficulty will be the same as the one you are in (actually it will be harder as you are an outsider and have to assimilate into their culture before you are accepted as one of their own, and some cultures will consider you an outsider forever)...

Not saying that you shouldn't look outside your own culture for love, but just don't expect it to stay so "exotic" and "mysterious" forever...



hale_bopp
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05 Apr 2010, 7:49 pm

Ambivalence wrote:
I find it very strange that anyone should judge a potential partner by their nationality. :? :?: At best you could (with reservations) use the stereotype to form some idea of what they'd be like before you had any contact with them, but once you were in touch with them, your direct observation of their character is of much greater value than whatever you thought beforehand!


I don't.

Cultural differences are enough to make a relationship not work. For example, I am unlikely to ever want one with a Russian or someone from a non english speaking European country.



CockneyRebel
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05 Apr 2010, 8:04 pm

I find myself attracted to guys with Cockney accents, for some strange reason.


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phil777
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05 Apr 2010, 9:14 pm

I don't mind any, the world is becoming more and more homogenous culturally anyways. -.- Honestly though, anyone who would have the patience and humanity to deal with me is ok in my book.



JazzofLife
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10 Apr 2010, 10:43 am

Keeno wrote:
I see a lot of people here and on the love-shy forum discussing the virtues of relationships with, men or women of certain types of nationality.

I don't know why but I find that unless a woman is of any of certain nationalities, I find I cannot develop any sexual or romantic desire for them. Any relationship with them, therefore, I'd have a desire for only a platonic friendship. It's only with certain nationalities I'd have a desire or urge for romance or a sexual relationship in addition.

It isn't even a race thing, it's a nationality thing. It's also not a judgmental or exclusionary thing, simply a matter of what I'm innately attracted to and turned on by, and what I'm not.



How can you say it's NOT a judgmental thing? It is. That's like saying, "Oh, I prefer someone by certain colors of skin, or certain nationalities, or anything else." You *could* develop sexual or romantic desire if you wanted to and all. You choose not to do so, and that's your choice. I respect that.


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chippie
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10 Apr 2010, 6:33 pm

Well for me ? I just like women :D

But I do have a certain "penchant" for for different ethnic ladies, black, asian, cletic, latin, mixed race etc



DavidM
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18 Apr 2010, 9:03 pm

Something you will scarcely see is an Englishwoman who will date a Scotsman.

(In fairness, probably they don't date any male unless he has an English accent, but this leads into other points not immediately relevant to this discussion.)

Indeed, it is very difficult to imagine a man, who speaks with a Scottish accent, and all of the attendant evils that lie upon such an accent (especially a certain emotional dullness and intellectual blockage), hooking up with a foreign woman unless perhaps he has brought her in from abroad.

Well, it is a strange thing, nationality; one may walk around Germany all summer and, if he keeps his lips tightly sealed, many German women will look him up and down and lick their lips.

But if he should open his mouth, and betray his foreignness, well, it seems to me that he loses all sight of a romantic outcome ....

Nationality is surely a stronger bond than race; I deduce this from the fact that I see many young Turkish men, speaking perfect German, are able to wing their way into the knickers of a German lass without much hassle.

Surely it is important not only to speak your lover's language, but to speak it in a way acceptable to their ears.

And thus, voice and accent are much more important than looks, or any other outward form.



Sound
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18 Apr 2010, 10:20 pm

Seems we're not discussing nationality so much as culture, I suspect.

But that's a little bit of a problem, because some countries have very divergent cultures, like USA. It can be tough to give an accurate 2-or-3-word descriptor in those cases...



Mikelight
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18 Apr 2010, 11:50 pm

Hale-Bopp is right in that cultural differences can mean a lot in a relationship

but when it comes to looks... there are many different types of beauty and I like most of them.



bigdave
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19 Apr 2010, 12:10 am

mjs82 wrote:
Can someone explain why you see more white men with asian women than you asian men with white women?

I say this having had a Korean girlfriend previously. It's just an interesting phenomenon.


From what I have heard asian men are not very well endowed. That would explain it I think.