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Did you ever meet a real live human being in the flesh through eHarmony?
Yes 4%  4%  [ 2 ]
No 28%  28%  [ 13 ]
Never tried, but interested 23%  23%  [ 11 ]
Never tried and never will 45%  45%  [ 21 ]
Total votes : 47

MizLiz
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06 Mar 2010, 9:59 pm

Wow. I guess from a fundie point of view, being gay would count as "mental instability".

I've heard from other people (and I think this was actually in an article) that they discriminate against the LGBT community. Now, I'm straight so this doesn't affect me, but I'm also human, so those slimeballs ain't getting my money.


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Athenacapella
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06 Mar 2010, 10:07 pm

Dilbert wrote:
OKcupid is a dating site for geeks. No really. I looked around and found like three above avearage looking women there. Zero athletes.


Sounds PERFECT.



Northeastern292
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11 Mar 2010, 2:47 pm

leschevalsroses wrote:
Northeastern292 wrote:
My only issue with eHarmony is that they tend to discriminate against many groups. It's not limited to the LGBT community, but they tend to be the country club of dating sites.


I heard that they don't match you up if in your preliminary survey thingy you show signs of "mental instability". I did their free trial just for kicks so see if I was accepted and I was...but they did ask a lot of questions that dove into that sort of thing. I've heard they don't take you if you put you're depressed. :?


Yeah, and another dating site spoofed fun at eHarmony's uptightness. What's more disturbing is that Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eHarmony, was for a while associated with Focus on the Family, the product of James Dobson.



Northeastern292
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11 Mar 2010, 2:49 pm

MizLiz wrote:
Wow. I guess from a fundie point of view, being gay would count as "mental instability".

I've heard from other people (and I think this was actually in an article) that they discriminate against the LGBT community. Now, I'm straight so this doesn't affect me, but I'm also human, so those slimeballs ain't getting my money.


Actually, I mentioned that earlier in the thread. :D

Northeastern292 wrote:
My only issue with eHarmony is that they tend to discriminate against many groups. It's not limited to the LGBT community, but they tend to be the country club of dating sites.



Last edited by Northeastern292 on 12 Mar 2010, 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

techstepgenr8tion
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12 Mar 2010, 12:01 am

I've been on.....maybe 8 or 9 dates from Eharmony in the last couple years? I think the only thing that sucks is that while I have something like 800 in my new/uncontacted (ranging over that time) and have been out it never seemed like I met anyone who I could have been wild about - I really wanted that but, I don't know. The situation so far has been, or at least was for a long time, that out of every 20 or 30 matches I looked at I'd only see one who even caught my interest enough to contemplate contacting them, most of the others I can't figure out why they matched me to them at all. Because of this most, if not all, of my dates from Eharmony have been from them contacting me - not vice a verse, girls who I thought 'Well...there could be a possibility, we have x, y, and z in common, I like her style... on (a)...", I guess personalities clicked superficially, I liked them as people but, the spark was never solid enough from my perspective.

Over all I get the feeling that Eharmony will be great for experience and learning what works, what doesn't, and why, but I still have a feeling that the kind of person who's right for me is very unlikely to be on there or, at least in my area.


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LiendaBalla
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13 Mar 2010, 4:23 am

I gave up on that group shortly after I took their match test.



MinorAnnoyance
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13 Mar 2010, 1:04 pm

starygrrl wrote:
I had luck with OK cupid. I did alot of casual dating, and ultimately found my partner on that site.

I have noticed on alot of paid websites have fake postings, including eharmony. I personally don't like eHarmony for a variety of reasons (partially because OKcupid does something similiar better, and its a free site).
How bug a city do you live in, because in five years I found one person I could actually get excited about but she left the site and then a second one I saw her on right after I got one good message from her. My point being there might just not be enough fish in this pond (500000 people) that the population of OKCupid would be high enough for me to find the rare person I'd be excited about and I think could like me.

Anyone tried plentyoffish.com? They don't seem to really have a "system" like OKCupid, just reason profiles, so it seems like it would be more work.



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13 Mar 2010, 11:00 pm

I took their stupid test last year and got "unable to match you at this time" A year later and still no matches to this day. I have been flaming the site in their forums...


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Merle
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13 Mar 2010, 11:15 pm

Yeah, signed up for eHarmony and met some interesting folks.

Funny story... I started dating this girl and basically let my eHarmony account go. She actually signed up and saw that we were matched (I was one of her top, if not top matches).

Most of the time, just a waste of money and time. 200+ matches and I just basically gave it up due to the time required.



MinorAnnoyance
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14 Mar 2010, 12:22 pm

ScottF wrote:
I took their stupid test last year and got "unable to match you at this time" A year later and still no matches to this day. I have been flaming the site in their forums...
Yeah, they'll never have a match for you because I heard that site is a little discriminatory. Anyone who's too much of an oddball by their standards they just don't take.



ScottF
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14 Mar 2010, 12:30 pm

MinorAnnoyance wrote:
ScottF wrote:
I took their stupid test last year and got "unable to match you at this time" A year later and still no matches to this day. I have been flaming the site in their forums...
Yeah, they'll never have a match for you because I heard that site is a little discriminatory. Anyone who's too much of an oddball by their standards they just don't take.


I am kinda realizing that now... I have posted messages on their forums on how the test thing is a waste of time and that they suck and they can go eff themselves... I also told them I want a refund which they have not yet provided


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Logan5
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15 Mar 2010, 6:16 am

The following article may be of some interest:

"How Do I Love Thee?"
"A growing number of Internet dating sites are relying on academic researchers to develop a new science of attraction. A first hand report from the front lines of an unprecedented social experiment."
By Lori Gottlieb
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc ... thee/4602/

(Note that the article focuses on the websites Chemistry.com, eHarmony, and PerfectMatch.com.) There is also an interview with the author:

"Logging On For Love"
"The author [Lori Gottlieb] of this month's cover story talks about love and the new research that's being produced by Internet matchmaking services"
By Elizabeth Wasserman
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc ... love/4573/

(I recommend you take the "science", discussed in those articles, with a big grain of salt.)


Another interview with a different writer:

"Better Mating Through Circuitry: A Q&A with the woman [Virginia Vitzthum] who literally wrote the book on online dating"
by Sarah Hepola
http://www.nerve.com/screeningroom/book ... avitzthum/ . (You probably should not visit Nerve.com's website if you are using a computer at work.)


I should mention that I have never used any of those websites. Every so often I think about trying dating again, but looking through the profiles on some free sites convinces me that I have very little in common with other people. It also reminds me of how exhausting and draining dating was, and I have even less energy these days. As the saying goes, my wild oats have turned to shredded wheat. :lol:


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techstepgenr8tion
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19 Mar 2010, 8:29 pm

I was just on there again looking at my account and new matches - had to laugh, anytime I see 27, 28, 30, from my specific town or one away I get excited, only to find out half the time that their account has been closed same day? Its like the girls around here have some Hunter Thompson in them (ie. Fear and Loathing) and can't hold themselves together long enough on a dating site to even land a date...ridiculous.

Oh yeah, the larger problem with Eharmony - close to 900 matches, most of them either over 100 miles away or in towns I can barely pronounce let alone ever knew existed in Ohio.


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20 Mar 2010, 5:22 am

Never tried eHarmony. I regret ever trying Match.com (no matter how I adjust the settings, it still spams my e-mail account daily). I recommend OkCupid out of every option. I mean, someone here said OkCupid seems superior, and another said it's the dating site for geeks, and I think it's both. I did meet somebody off that web site. A lot of people do.

I have looked at plentyoffish.com but I'm not impressed the slightest.


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