Mistaking acquaintances for friends
I have little understanding of altering what i say in accordance with levels of intimacy....... bummer. All I have done since being properly diagnosed is try to shut up more so I do not offend.... And I seem to offend other people on the spectrum just as frequently as I offend people who are not on the spectrum................
WOW! You sound like me. I'm 24 and would hate to have issues like this the rest of my life!! ! Glad you got the diagnosis and have learned to shut up LOL! After finding out of AS I've learned some things about myself aswell and perhaps some methods to use with my life issues.
Yes I make the mistake of confusing aquaintances as friends. It gets me in trouble. I trust people until I know I shouldn't. So trusting aquantances with information is sometimes a really bad mistake. I've been doing it all my life and don't know how to stop except becoming a hermit and closing myself off from the world.
I have little understanding of altering what i say in accordance with levels of intimacy....... bummer. All I have done since being properly diagnosed is try to shut up more so I do not offend.... And I seem to offend other people on the spectrum just as frequently as I offend people who are not on the spectrum................
WOW! You sound like me. I'm 24 and would hate to have issues like this the rest of my life!! ! Glad you got the diagnosis and have learned to shut up LOL! After finding out of AS I've learned some things about myself aswell and perhaps some methods to use with my life issues.
oh - I continue to offend people frequently. And i try to shut up, but the reality is I am sometimes COMPELLED to monologue on the topics i love. I offend and offend again and again. It takes an incredible amount of energy on my part to try to edit what i say before it comes out of my mouth. I rarely mean offence, and yet I offend. oh well.
you know how to tell once they screw you over or if they want something from you such as drugs money rides in a car ect. one thing you can do is let them engage you first after you become what is considerd a freindship. if they stop talking first i would assume you were clinging or getting on their nerves. i have had this problem so i just qwit talking to people, you dont need them if there not real. now i have very fw freinds but i do have them, i tend to make freinds with people that are on the spectrum or people that are followers and i can tell them what we are going to do, i do not do well around hyper people
I get confused by friendship. Most of the time I really don't see any need for it. I would be just fine by myself. When I was younger I considered everyone I knew a friend but when I look back I think most of the people I knew except one or two were just acquaintances. I have a hard time getting close to someone so it is very hard for me to make a close friend. I find it even harder to keep my friends. I always say or do something inappropriate or have very infrequent contact with them.
I use to have this problem as a child. I saw that people used to gather, and since my teachers asked me on multiple times why I was staying alone, I decided to "stick to somebody". After that whoever had the bad idea to say one word to me was considered a friend and I would not let them out of my sight. I just kept folowing them everywhere because i thought we were "friends". I didn't like them but i thought we were supposed to stay together.
Now i don't bother with friendships. i have pen pals, it's much more easy and i actually like some of them.
passionatebach
Velociraptor
Joined: 8 Nov 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 447
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa
As I get older, I have come to learn that the people that I call friends are nothing more than acquaintances. Work acquaintances. church acquaintances, childhood acquaintances, etc. I maybe have one or two close friends, even as time has went along, they have become more acquaintances than friends.
One thing I have noticed as well is that I must remember people better or thought I was closer to someone than the opposite party in the relationship thought. This has caused some friction with people, as I want to talk about the "old days" I have got into conversations, where I thought I knew the person better and they have said "you look familar, but who are you?' Maybe due to our high iqs and the fact that many of us have photographic memories, we remember names and faces better.
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