You can have a partner in Heaven-and Have Sex there!! !



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boosterjones
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 5:34 am

:D I have some great news for you all! (Provided you believe in it)

WE WILL ALL HAVE PARTNERS IN HEAVEN!! !

Yes I know that some of you gays and gals aren't fellow believers (but don't worry I have no issue with that) and that some of you may find that a little hard to take in. But it's true as it only makes sence?

Yes, Jesus did say that you can not get married in Heaven, but He did not say that you can't be married before you get there and be in a state of perfect marrage when you are up there!

You see I believe that as everyone has a soulmate and that as God can see all and know all, then don't you think that the following may be possible...

1, Two babies are born on Earth, at ruthly the same time.

2. They are perfectly suited to each other.

3. They never meet and get together while on Earth, but as lead good lives God knows this and desides to have them marry in his eyes (even though they don't know this yet)

4. They both die and go to Heaven. Then they meet and fall in Love!

Yes this may sound like an arranged marriage (because that's what it is) but the only reason why when Human Beings do this with there kids they are...

1. Unawhere of whether or not that there children are soulmates.

2. Most arranged marriages done with the perents best intersts (i.e. money wise) at heart anyway and so don't count in the eyes of God.

So for all of those who are lonely then don't fret you will meet him/her someday.

After all doesn't the Bible say that ''They will be no crying or suffering or pain'' in the next life? If this (or any other desre that you or I or anyone else may have) does not happen then I'll be dissaponited, and that would be a form of pain! Also in't God love? And if Heaven is a better place then one thing that'll happen is that we'll all get what we want!

Thank you for reading this and If anyone wish's to coment on this then feel free to do so.

Goodbye Till Next Time!



Aimless
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:10 am

sounds magically delicious



soulice
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:31 am

Sorry, but I am meeting my lover through the sacrifice of the FSM. Heathens.



Sound
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:38 am

....this does not follow from the wisdom of Zoroaster's liturgies, at all! :x



Lene
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:01 am

What about the happy couples who don't happen to share the same birth date? Are they going to be split up after they die and forced to be with other people? What if they don't want to?

Apart from the obvious plot holes in your ideology, I think your marketing plan (essentially 'believe in Christ and get laid') is insulting to the intelligence of both Christians and non Christians.

That said, you're entitled to your own beliefs, and if you want to wait until you die to meet your soulmate, fire ahead. Just don't expect a favourable response if you try preaching to others.



sinsboldly
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:10 am

I thought sexual intercourse is for the production of children. you mean I have to spend my time in paradise RAISING KIDS?. :roll: Didn't you just say ''They will be no crying or suffering or pain''??

I ain't going! :D



Last edited by sinsboldly on Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hansie
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:11 am

Do I have to get married? I have no interest in getting married (no matter how perfect). I really like being single and hanging out with my single friends. So is there going to be a happy and single club in Heaven?



hartzofspace
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:57 am

sinsboldly wrote:
I thought sexual intercourse is for the production of children. you mean I have to spend my time in paradise RAISING KIDS?. :roll: Didn't you just say ''They will be no crying or suffering or pain''??

I ain't going! :D


:lol: Me, neither!


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Dilbert
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:04 pm

Every school kid in every place on Earth should take basic courses in logic, philosophy, comparative theology, debate, and other things that nurture a skeptical and reasonable mind.

Maybe then we would not have so much ignorance.



alana
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:12 pm

sylvia brown says spirits can have sex so I guess that applies to the christians in their gated community known as 'heaven' too.



visagrunt
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:25 pm

boosterjones wrote:
Yes I know that some of you gays and gals aren't fellow believers


ROFL.

BTW, just to be clear, if I am gay, and I am a fellow believer, does that mean that I will have a hot guy in the afterlife? If so, I might have to do some reconsideration of my post-mortal aspirations.


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hartzofspace
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:25 pm

alana wrote:
sylvia brown says spirits can have sex so I guess that applies to the christians in their gated community known as 'heaven' too.


Why the hell would spirits need/want to have sex? That's weird.


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Willard
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 2:24 pm

I can understand why spirits would still want to have sex, and there must be sex in Heaven in order for it to be Heaven. But with only one person over and over forever? That is not Heaven. You sir, are a false prophet. :evil:



JazzofLife
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:46 pm

Why would I want to wait until I was in Heaven and have sex with a partner, when I can have sex with my partner here on Earth? I don't understand the rationale behind your question. Makes me think that all people should be celibate until they got to heaven. Why don't we all just be nuns and priests, and take up an oath of celibacy until we die? Then we can enjoy the sexual pleasures of being with our partner.


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bully_on_speed
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Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:48 pm

if you kill yourself in jihad you get 72



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