Do you not like that we show emotion differently?

Page 1 of 2 [ 24 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

DonkeyBuster
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2009
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,311
Location: New Mexico, USA

08 May 2010, 2:01 pm

LipstickKiller wrote:
I sometimes smirk at my own thoughts, and I have a morbid and sometimes cynical sense of humour so I sometimes smile or chuckle at the wrong time. It's often the case that I make an internal joke at my own expense though.


I think it's not so much that we display emotion differently (laughing at something funny), it's that our emotions don't seem to prioritize themselves like NTs do. So we have to suppress funny stray thoughts in inappropriate situations, whereas for them the appropriate
dominant emotion automatically blocks funny, stray thoughts.


LipstickKiller wrote:
But when I'm angry or frustrated, then I cry. That sucks, because both behaviors have gotten me accused of being manipulative, which is very far from the truth.


Lots and lots of women cry when they're angry or frustrated, it's a common response. Irritating as hell, because one wants to be taken seriously and it just makes one more murderous to feel undermined by our own body. But every woman I know does this, NT and AS alike. Except when we move into 'cold blooded killer' mode... the ice in the voice, the low even tone, the still rigid body.



LipstickKiller
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 457

08 May 2010, 4:43 pm

DonkeyBuster wrote:

Lots and lots of women cry when they're angry or frustrated, it's a common response. Irritating as hell, because one wants to be taken seriously and it just makes one more murderous to feel undermined by our own body. But every woman I know does this, NT and AS alike. Except when we move into 'cold blooded killer' mode... the ice in the voice, the low even tone, the still rigid body.


Haha, yeah, I have gotten into that mode sometimes. My mind seems to sharpen in then, so I can be very precise and sarcastic in my arguments. My husband once told me that when I argue I'm never irrational, but rather hyper-rational.



DonkeyBuster
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2009
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,311
Location: New Mexico, USA

08 May 2010, 5:02 pm

And it's common for men to accuse women of being manipulative when we start to cry because they can't handle it... it's not about us, it's about them.

Next time he pulls that stunt, tell him to learn to deal with it or go gay... this is how women are, we hate it, and if he keeps making baseless accusations, he's liable to wake up one morning with his penis superglued to his belly.

THAT oughta manipulate him, by golly! :lol:



dragonzmyst
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 49

08 May 2010, 5:24 pm

Interesting topic...on more than one occasion when my husband and I have argued, I've laughed. One time I was trying to pull the car out of the driveway, misjudged and hit the house. The fender got ripped apart, and of course he wasn't happy. As he was yelling about the car, I had to keep looking down at the ground because I was smiling and laughing. This happened again recently. It doesn't matter what the fight's about - if someone's yelling at me, I'm gonna laugh. It's annoying, because I know it's not the appropriate response, but it happens anyway. :roll:



DonkeyBuster
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2009
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,311
Location: New Mexico, USA

08 May 2010, 5:42 pm

dragonzmyst wrote:
Interesting topic...on more than one occasion when my husband and I have argued, I've laughed. One time I was trying to pull the car out of the driveway, misjudged and hit the house. The fender got ripped apart, and of course he wasn't happy. As he was yelling about the car, I had to keep looking down at the ground because I was smiling and laughing. This happened again recently. It doesn't matter what the fight's about - if someone's yelling at me, I'm gonna laugh. It's annoying, because I know it's not the appropriate response, but it happens anyway. :roll:


I wonder if this laughing reponse to other's anger is some sort of distorted "appeasement grimace", which in primates serves to show one is not a threat.

I, on the other hand, try to reason with angry people(it's only a fender, the airbags didn't deploy, it won't be that hard to fix, settle down, no need to yell so the whole neighborhood can hear you). Even though I KNOW that angry people don't want to be reasonable, they want to be angry and RIGHT. It's another good way to get yourself hated. :roll:



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,059
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

08 May 2010, 5:51 pm

I dislike that I show emotions differently because lots of people assume I'm mad, sad, upset, ect when I'm not & when something goes wrong for someone; they assume I'm psychotic because I apparently do not display the correct emotion. Some people are afraid of me & assume I'm dangerous 8O


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


persian85033
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,869
Location: Phoenix

08 May 2010, 9:01 pm

Notsurprised wrote:
This is a sobering concept I know I do not show being happy with
facial expression but maybe I do not show grief either? As a kid I would
smile at inappriate times, I could not seem to help it, actually at times
as a kid could not control my laughter, think I use to really look touched.
I sure do not laugh much now, but might piss people off by not being able to
show the right expressions.
I think I have a bit to learn. Things are starting to come clear tho.


I can't show being happy because it rather tires me out. It hurts to smile. Weird, but it just does. Like my face gets tired.

I laugh at odd times, too. I've gotten better at controlling it, but many times I'm in danger of bursting out in laughter at the most innappropriate times and places.


_________________
"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain


dragonzmyst
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 49

08 May 2010, 9:28 pm

DonkeyBuster wrote:
I wonder if this laughing reponse to other's anger is some sort of distorted "appeasement grimace", which in primates serves to show one is not a threat.

I, on the other hand, try to reason with angry people(it's only a fender, the airbags didn't deploy, it won't be that hard to fix, settle down, no need to yell so the whole neighborhood can hear you). Even though I KNOW that angry people don't want to be reasonable, they want to be angry and RIGHT. It's another good way to get yourself hated. :roll:


That's an interesting theory. Very interesting indeed.

Yeah....I've done that too....it actually didn't occur to me that I do that until I read this...I guess I kinda go into a fog when people are getting upset so I haven't noticed, lol.



druidsbird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 505
Location: not Alderaan

08 May 2010, 10:08 pm

LipstickKiller wrote:
My son laughs when he's being scolded or he's afraid. He laughs when he can't think of an appropriate response when he's done something bad. It's a very discerning laughter.


I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does this.


_________________
Darth Vader. Cool.