Do you not like that we show emotion differently?

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My little sister got hurt and I smiled while standing around the hospital yesterday. My older sister fell a couple months ago (mom crying upset) I smiled and stood in a corner (Yes worried for her my first thought is the worst What if she's paralyzed otherwise not much emotion) BUT when she almost got in a car wreck on Good Friday I was stunned the whole day OMG I could have lost my sister (as my mom lost hers) (I did break down and cry during that afternoon). Also perhaps this is outside of emotion but and I know I've made a topic about it before but I'm constantly saying sorry and feel bad (what if I upset you sorry you were in traffic etc.)

Are you smiling at someone's pain or at some extraneous detail that strikes you as oddly amusing?

For example, a woman was crying and telling me about the recent accidental suicide of her son (overdose trying to kill the pain of a break-up) and how she felt responsible, she could have stopped it, I couldn't know how she felt... inside I was stunned and deeply compassionate for her suffering and loss, but when she said 'You can't know what this is like' honest-to-god I gave a little chuckle and completely agreed... I have never lost a child to death, I have never had children, so I literally have no idea what it's like, except that it must be sheer hell, but Holy Cow I must have appeared insensitive as hell.

But I wasn't laughing at her loss and pain, but at the outrageousness of the idea that I could even pretend to know what it was like.

So, was your smile from something like that?

So why did you smile?

I don't like that I smile when the people around me are crying or yelling. I mean, I feel just as sad as they do (like at my grandma's funeral, for example), but for some reason I smile and I can't help it.

Good question. The hospital thing was just a busted lip nothing major so I stood back and smiled to myself (not in a funny way) The fall incident I was serious like what if she is paralyzed but again just stood off to the side. It was the ALMOST wreck that got me to break down at the end of that day.

This is a sobering concept I know I do not show being happy with
facial expression but maybe I do not show grief either? As a kid I would
smile at inappriate times, I could not seem to help it, actually at times
as a kid could not control my laughter, think I use to really look touched.
I sure do not laugh much now, but might piss people off by not being able to
show the right expressions.
I think I have a bit to learn. Things are starting to come clear tho.

I go through life 'hot wired' to the suffering of others, this is because I have not only suffered much in my life, but because I have deeply felt and grieved many of my losses. This 'emotional empathy for myself and thus other's has linked me to the emotional world.

However, when it comes to expression beyond the written word, ie, 'showing' not 'telling' I have in the past acted the very feeling that I genuinely and authentically feel within. (be it joy or sorrow) This leaves me feeling that AS does not render people empathetically rubbed out, just makes emotions complex to process and overwhelmingly hard to communicate........on the world's terms at least.

I don't think I've ever smiled like that. I'm unresponsive because I'm overloaded with emotions but I don't smile.

I always get this when I get seriously injured. I can be covered in blood or life threateningly ill and I just can't help grinning and laughing about how I got myself into this situation. People find this very strange.

when other people are hurt I can usually play off the responses of other well wishers, although not always. Being alone with the person is tough.

i will smirk when i am required to be deadly serious.
i am not sure why, but think it is because at first for a few seconds i try to pretend an expression of "oh dear!" , and i see how it looks completely faked, and then i find that amusing, but their expressions to not change. so then it becomes very important for me to seem to be concerned and reverend, but i think "what if i laugh? that would be disastrous", and then i imagine myself laughing at it, and that makes me laugh.

i am not a very valuable person to turn to for solace.

My son laughs when he's being scolded or he's afraid. He laughs when he can't think of an appropriate response when he's done something bad. It's a very discerning laughter.

I sometimes smirk at my own thoughts, and I have a morbid and sometimes cynical sense of humour so I sometimes smile or chuckle at the wrong time. It's often the case that I make an internal joke at my own expense though.

Here's what's more disturbing though, I rarely cry when I'm sad, I just want to injure myself. But when I'm angry or frustrated, then I cry. That sucks, because both behaviors have gotten me accused of being manipulative, which is very far from the truth.