Why is being "clingy" seen as bad?



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Asp-Z
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Mon May 10, 2010 12:36 pm

The way I see it, being "clingy" just shows that you care about your partner and want to talk to them a lot... I don't see why so many people see it as such a bad thing. :?

Anyone care to shine some light on this mystery? :P



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Mon May 10, 2010 12:44 pm

I don't see anything wrong with being clingy. I'd love to have a man, who's clingy.


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Lene
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Mon May 10, 2010 12:57 pm

I think it depends what you mean by 'clingy'. What's clingy to one person may be just right for another, or it may depend on the person doing the 'clinging' (i.e. how much you really fancy them in the first place).



Negolin
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Mon May 10, 2010 1:07 pm

Yeah but people don't want to be overwhelmed, suffocated with too much clinginess.........can be a major turn-off.



Asp-Z
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Mon May 10, 2010 1:10 pm

Negolin wrote:
Yeah but people don't want to be overwhelmed, suffocated with too much clinginess.........can be a major turn-off.


Why? That's what I don't get. :?



Willard
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Mon May 10, 2010 1:23 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
Negolin wrote:
Yeah but people don't want to be overwhelmed, suffocated with too much clinginess.........can be a major turn-off.


Why? That's what I don't get. :?



You'll get it when somebody does it to you.

Ever have a cute little child follow you around, wanting to see everything you do, and 'HELP' you with whatever you're doing, by touching all your stuff and dropping things and getting their greasy kid fingerprints on everything and talking and talking and talking until you want to scream at them to get the f**k out and leave you alone and stop touching your stuff!?! But you couldn't, because they're just a kid and they wouldn't understand and it would only hurt their feelings and make them cry? So you just put up with it and try to run around behind them and pick up all the stuff they're dropping and gently take away the stuff they're about to break and put it all where they can't reach it and when their mother shows up you're so Effing relieved that they're FINALLY GONE!?

It's kind of like that. :wink:



Asp-Z
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Mon May 10, 2010 1:24 pm

Willard wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Negolin wrote:
Yeah but people don't want to be overwhelmed, suffocated with too much clinginess.........can be a major turn-off.


Why? That's what I don't get. :?



You'll get it when somebody does it to you.

Ever have a cute little child follow you around, wanting to see everything you do, and 'HELP' you with whatever you're doing, by touching all your stuff and dropping things and getting their greasy kid fingerprints on everything and talking and talking and talking until you want to scream at them to get the f**k out and leave you alone and stop touching your stuff!?! But you couldn't, because they're just a kid and they wouldn't understand and it would only hurt their feelings and make them cry? So you just put up with it and try to run around behind them and pick up all the stuff they're dropping and gently take away the stuff they're about to break and put it all where they can't reach it and when their mother shows up you're so Effing relieved that they're FINALLY GONE!?

It's kind of like that. :wink:


Ahh, I understand so well now! Thanks! :lol:



pschristmas
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Mon May 10, 2010 1:25 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
Negolin wrote:
Yeah but people don't want to be overwhelmed, suffocated with too much clinginess.........can be a major turn-off.


Why? That's what I don't get. :?


Because it's extraordinarily stressful. It doesn't matter what is intended by the contact, too much contact will send me into a crying fit after a while.



Chronos
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Mon May 10, 2010 1:30 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
The way I see it, being "clingy" just shows that you care about your partner and want to talk to them a lot... I don't see why so many people see it as such a bad thing. :?

Anyone care to shine some light on this mystery? :P


Because people like to be LEFT ALONE.

I get tired of being around people rather quickly. I have to dedicate a lot of resources to processing incoming information from them and this intrudes on the time and resources I need to process my own thoughts.

I generally prefer to be left to myself about 70% of the time. I can't stand clingy people at all. If someone really loves me, they'd be able to go a few weeks without seeing me and be secure enough to know the relationship isn't falling apart.



Homer_Bob
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Mon May 10, 2010 1:34 pm

Because people want their space and alone time. I would hate being clinged too. It's not exactly a huge turn on if your partner shows too much dependence on you.


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Mon May 10, 2010 1:43 pm

One thing that might play into it is that "clinginess" can be a sign of either obsession or a co-dependent relationship. If it doesn't come with these strings attached, and both partners like it, then there isn't anything wrong with it.

Heck, do whatever you want with your partner if you both agree on it. As long as it isn't criminal. Correction: as long as it isn't too criminal ;)


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ToadOfSteel
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Mon May 10, 2010 2:58 pm

Here's something I don't understand... I'm not one who wants to spend every waking moment with a partner either (in fact i do need quite a bit of alone time), yet I'm seen as "clingy" because I put the needs of a partner before the needs of myself. I can function just fine by myself and I don't need someone else in my life to just go about my day doing stuff, but apparently love itself is clinginess now...



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Mon May 10, 2010 3:19 pm

Dunno, I think some people dislike submissiveness - see it as something not respectful. Like to be seen around strong, self-dependent, reliant people, who don't need constant reassurance and approval. Attachment usually brings resistance - and all that "hard to get" games. I think it's due to the fact that people tend to identify with whom they associate, especially their partners - and want to see them strong in some instances. Some others love to play the role of guardians and protectors.


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Last edited by Booyakasha on Mon May 10, 2010 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Postures
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Mon May 10, 2010 3:25 pm

I'm clingy and like people who are the same. Then again I do have Borderline Personality Disorder :roll:


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Mon May 10, 2010 3:29 pm

Clinginess= no space


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