Attraction to the mysterious

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GoatOnFire
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21 May 2010, 2:26 am

:batman: :huh:

Noticed have I that I have seen people say that they find someone to be "mysterious" and are making it clear that something is very sexy about the mystery. This can apply to both males and females. Logically make sense to me this does not, unless there is a way of looking at the definition of mysterious that I have not interpreted.

If you find someone mysterious sexy what is it that makes it so?

Maybe some ladies have a fantasy where a guy picks them up, kidnaps them, tortures them, and kills them? Or some guys have fantasies where a lady ties them to the bed and then tortures and kills them? Maybe it's just the thrill of taking that risk? Doesn't seem probable but it would be presumptuous of me to presume that ladies and gentlemens do not have such fantasies because I do not know what they think.

Just what causes the phenomenon of being attracted to someone mysterious?


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Freak_Contagion
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21 May 2010, 2:49 am

Mystery piques one's curiosity. If the person also seems reasonably safe (the needed extent of this can vary from person to person), then they will be intrigued by mystery. I know I like a little mystery myself sometimes at first from a girl. It can be sexy, as long as it doesn't stay that way too long.


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Villette
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21 May 2010, 3:58 am

My idea of attractive mystery in a partner is a reserved guy with a tremendous intellect. No kidnapping or seduction in the physical sense. I would like to be intellectually seduced.



Freak_Contagion
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21 May 2010, 4:07 am

Yes! Why did I not think to mention that! That is exactly what I mean as well. ^^


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musicboxforever
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21 May 2010, 4:27 am

Goat on Fire it is interesting that you have assoicated "mystery" with something dangerous. I think that in this sense "mystery" means there is something about the other person that piques their curiosity and they want to know more about them. Maybe they mean that this person they have met is quite interesting and they can't quite put their finger on what the reason for this is.

I was called mysterious at college. Someone said, "there's more to her than meets the eye." I hold back alot about myself. Some of my stories are slightly unbelievable, so I don't tell them because I don't want to look like I'm making it up. But I think that sometimes when someone holds back alot about themselves, it makes other people think that there is a depth to that person and they want to find out more. I don't think that really makes me attractive though. I'm just reserved.

"Mysterious" could also describe an indescribable feeling. It's maybe just a rush of endorphines. It appears to be magical, but it is a chemical reaction to someone you fancy... Maybe.



auntblabby
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21 May 2010, 10:21 am

a minority opinion here- i have always detested mystery.



astaut
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21 May 2010, 12:12 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:
Maybe some ladies have a fantasy where a guy picks them up, kidnaps them, tortures them, and kills them? Or some guys have fantasies where a lady ties them to the bed and then tortures and kills them?


Sorry, that just really made me laugh....

A guy I dated for quite a while (approximately two years) that always said he thought my 'mysteriousness' was attractive. I never really knew what he meant. I think it was just because I'm quiet and don't share everything with everyone.

I like mystery in the form that someone else said, just a reserved sort of guy. He doesn't even have to be reserved, he could just be someone that you always have more questions about. There's a guy that I've known for two or three years now and while I know more about him than other people, there's still a lot I don't know, plenty of questions I could ask.

Or maybe mysteriousness means you secretly wonder if your partner could be a superhero :batman: :spiderman:



Mosaicofminds
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21 May 2010, 1:44 pm

From what I understand, people are attracted to the mysterious because it makes them want to learn more about the other person, get to know them better. Personally, I find it more attractive when someone tells me something interesting about themselves that makes me want to learn more about them. I do like it when people can surprise me after I think I know them well, but that's not so much mysteriousness as being a complex person, I think.



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21 May 2010, 1:58 pm

I put "creepy" and "mysterious" in two separate boxes. If somebody is giving of the impression that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't survive an encounter with them, I call them "creepy". (See "creepy" thread.) If somebody is giving off the aura that maybe, just maybe, they are:

a secretely talented artist with a closet full of incredible paintings nobody has seen

somebody with many incredible stories of exciting adventures but these stories only get told to a select few

somebody who has a complicated (but not crazy-making) family history that he doesn't tell anybody about until he knows them well

any other thing that is secret, interesting and not fatal



MrEGuy
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23 May 2010, 12:09 am

Mystery = not from around here

Not from around here = reckless sex

Human beings have been proven to be far more promiscuous when they are far from home, far from social judgment, far from peer groups or just far from their element. The mysterious person is an instant offer of that opportunity. An opportunity few humans turn down.



Vanilla_Slice
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23 May 2010, 3:25 am

A woman who is mysterious is incredibly attractive. It's difficult to describe why so the best way I can do this is to give you an example. Lady Heather from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. OK, I know that this is a work of fiction but Melinda Clarke plays the part very well and the end result is a woman who's hotter than fire.

She had Gil Grissom exactly where she wanted him, lucky man 8)

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GoatOnFire
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25 May 2010, 2:15 am

Villette wrote:
My idea of attractive mystery in a partner is a reserved guy with a tremendous intellect.

Sounds like a potential serial killer to me. :P
musicboxforever wrote:
Goat on Fire it is interesting that you have assoicated "mystery" with something dangerous.

My original thinking is somewhat of a roller coaster effect. It's a psychological thrill because you are playing with your life. It would be silly to think that people would take a risk like this unless the odds of dying are quite low. I'm open to other ideas of it, I've heard the idea thrown around and am trying to get a feel as to what it means. If it's mysterious then there's something unknown.
musicboxforever wrote:
I think that in this sense "mystery" means there is something about the other person that piques their curiosity and they want to know more about them. Maybe they mean that this person they have met is quite interesting and they can't quite put their finger on what the reason for this is.

So it can be mysterious why we like the mysterious.
Janissy wrote:
I put "creepy" and "mysterious" in two separate boxes. If somebody is giving of the impression that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't survive an encounter with them, I call them "creepy".

A lot of people do this. People, however, are rather poor at spotting the actual psycho because sociopaths in particular can be very charismatic and not necessarily a loner. Fortunately for most, serial killers are very rare. Though in some cases the difference between those two boxes is the attractiveness level of the individual in question. Just saying be careful.
MrEGuy wrote:
Mystery = not from around here

Not from around here = reckless sex

Human beings have been proven to be far more promiscuous when they are far from home, far from social judgment, far from peer groups or just far from their element. The mysterious person is an instant offer of that opportunity. An opportunity few humans turn down.

I think this is a slightly different idea. This is more of the people that you will not encounter again while you are away from home thing. Because you won't be around the people for life you are much less careful to protect your reputation.


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