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MotownDangerPants
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31 May 2010, 1:43 pm

So, I've heard that A LOT of young women are diagnosed with Borderline-Personality Disorder and that it's also diagnosed before AS is for many women.

I was diagnosed with it somewhere along the way. I didn't even know about it until 2 years ago, they never told me, I just got ahold of some of my old files.

I really don't feel it describes me but I wold never tell a medical professional that. Once you've been diagnosed with it I don't really think they listen to much you have to say. I can see why they might think that I do, though. Mainly the shocking behavior aspect....I think a lot of my behavior may come off as me trying to shock people(more so in the past than now, I'm learning) but that's because I don't realize just how crazy it might look to other people. I don't do things to get a reaction, other than to make people laugh and my humor can be a little more extreme than I realize at times. I was DEFINITELY the dare-devil type when I was younger,so maybe this is part of it also but for me that was just fun. Looking back on it, I did do some REALLY risky things but at the time they seemed only semi-risky to me.

Aside from that I don't show many of the symptoms on the checklist, was never a self-harmer(aside from ED which for me was always more of a control thing, I didn't *flaunt* it), never had especially rocky relationships with people...the main reason I was a loner on and off throughout my childhood and teen years is because I just didn't talk to people, but when I felt like making friends I could and the relationships were always good.

I was never really too impulsive, aside from a few episodes as a teen that I chalk up to hormones, but as far as having an ongoing compulsion or impulsive behavior that I REALLY couldn't control, it's just not me. I was committed more to my ED as an obsession (which IS impulsive, I know) but once i realized how out of control it was getting and the kind of damage I was doing to body I just stopped.

I feel like the main thing that sets me apart from BPD is the display of emotion, I never displayed emotion like what they describe. Aside from having the occasional meltdown which happened VERY rarely once I got into my teen years, I would never put my emotions on display. I still wouldn't, it's just not me.

Anyway, what do you all think? Is this disorder often given to those who don't fit it? Just wondering if I'm alone here.



sinsboldly
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31 May 2010, 3:51 pm

Quote:
I really don't feel it describes me but I wold never tell a medical professional that. Once you've been diagnosed with it I don't really think they listen to much you have to say.


truer words were never spoken, MotownDangerPants. I do believe BPD is psychologist short hand for 'this is one smart cookie, your usual dreck won't cut it' and they write you off as 'incorrigible'

Actually what is happening is the AS sets up the same 'harmonics' as what is described by BPD in women. Asperger's Syndrome behavior in women is observed as strikingly similar to BPD but for completely different reasons.

When I got my DX, I retyped the paperwork and left it out so the next therapist is not poisoned by the 'information' and see where that gets me.

Merle


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MotownDangerPants
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31 May 2010, 4:05 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
Quote:
I really don't feel it describes me but I wold never tell a medical professional that. Once you've been diagnosed with it I don't really think they listen to much you have to say.


truer words were never spoken, MotownDangerPants. I do believe BPD is psychologist short hand for 'this is one smart cookie, your usual dreck won't cut it' and they write you off as 'incorrigible'

Actually what is happening is the AS sets up the same 'harmonics' as what is described by BPD in women. Asperger's Syndrome behavior in women is observed as strikingly similar to BPD but for completely different reasons.

When I got my DX, I retyped the paperwork and left it out so the next therapist is not poisoned by the 'information' and see where that gets me.

Merle


Yep, I totally agree. My general practitioner's office is at the same hospital as the psychiatric unit I've visited 4 or 5 times since my childhood, so they have all my medical files. I would say that I can be a bit of hypochondriac but they had always treated me strangely when I asked for certain tests and I never knew why. I never asked for anything outrageous. Some of the psychiatrists treated me strangely too, it wasn't until I saw that on my records and did a lot of internet research on BPD that I learned that many medical professionals run in the other direction when they see that diagnosis, as people with it are supposedly "master manipulators". Whether they are or not, I don't know, but I know that manipulation is definitely not my goal in life.



sinsboldly
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31 May 2010, 4:28 pm

see, that is what they call it "manipulation" when someone is assertive as to proper social channels of behavior. I have heard people say 'social code words' that I blythfully disregard (as I have no idea what it means, just that they are repeating themselves and I haven't a clue what they are getting at). When someone assertively requests and has no social brakes to apply if the assertiveness gets a bit to strong and doesn't react to a " social yellow light" signal for caution people that are constrained by social conventions become uncomfortable. I have learned that the cardinal rule, socially, is to NOT make someone 'uncomfortable.' The moment we cross that line, we are considered manipulating someone by using their social code against themselves.

BPD uses it as a tactic of manipulation against someone, AS is just totally clueless it is happening. If we weren't so smart (i.e. IQ) we might be given a pass, but since we are so brilliant with other things, they think we know what we are doing and doing it on purpose, when we just want something and are clueless on how to get it.

same effect, different intent.

Merle



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24 Feb 2017, 10:49 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
Quote:
I really don't feel it describes me but I wold never tell a medical professional that. Once you've been diagnosed with it I don't really think they listen to much you have to say.


truer words were never spoken,


I was going to highlight that part as well! Haha

I'm not diagnosed ASD but I am diagnosed BPD
I had no idea about autism until this past year and score high on all the test so we'll see how it goes
what I did know was about bipolar though because my dad is bipolar, so I am diagnosed as bipolar also
but im not sure how much the diagnosis was an easy genetic cop-op
I don't really have these symptoms but in my late teens I had practically zero awareness of what was happening to me
I good thing from the BPD diagnosis was DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) which is truly just an eye-opener for helping with social situations and awareness!
But having gained some skills from this it's confusing to me now realizing what's a struggle


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29 Mar 2017, 5:00 pm

I had a diagnosis of BPD for about 5 1/2 years until (after lots of prompting from myself, my wife and my therapist) my psychiatrist decided to assess me for ASD last year. In October last year my BPD diagnosis was officially scrapped and I was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.

The main symptom that prompted them to give me the BPD diagnosis was my excessive and prolonged use of self harm over a span of 14 years. Other than that there wasn't much weight in the diagnosis and I found out last year that a therapist I saw in 2012 had written to my psychiatrist and suggested an autism assessment (unbeknownst to me) and he completely disregarded it. He's not the most useful of men but hey, I have the right diagnosis now so yeah. They actually screened me for BPD as they were doing the autism assessment and it difinitively came back that I didn't have it. (I didn't know they were testing me for it). I've never been over emotional or impulsive and the relationships I've had have tended to be superficial and fallen apart because I didn't know how to sustain them rather than because I was hot and cold. They petered out, no big fights just a misunderstanding of me but I now have some wonderful, long term friends and a wife of almost 3 years so that's good.

Sorry this was a bit of an essay. I will say though, if you don't believe in your diagnosis, fight it. If I hadn't fought, though granted I had a partner and psychologist on my side, I'd still have a BPD diagnosis.



itsme82
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01 Apr 2017, 6:29 am

sinsboldly wrote:
see, that is what they call it "manipulation" when someone is assertive as to proper social channels of behavior. I have heard people say 'social code words' that I blythfully disregard (as I have no idea what it means, just that they are repeating themselves and I haven't a clue what they are getting at). When someone assertively requests and has no social brakes to apply if the assertiveness gets a bit to strong and doesn't react to a " social yellow light" signal for caution people that are constrained by social conventions become uncomfortable. I have learned that the cardinal rule, socially, is to NOT make someone 'uncomfortable.' The moment we cross that line, we are considered manipulating someone by using their social code against themselves.

BPD uses it as a tactic of manipulation against someone, AS is just totally clueless it is happening. If we weren't so smart (i.e. IQ) we might be given a pass, but since we are so brilliant with other things, they think we know what we are doing and doing it on purpose, when we just want something and are clueless on how to get it.

same effect, different intent.

Merle


I have a feeling you are describing me exactly.

But I don't yet fully understand this. What kind of assertive requests were you talking of, for example?

And, please, if you can, give me examples of such "social code words" that you miss/ignore. If you tell them you don't honestly know what they mean, it doesn't help?

The summary of yours on how people are not to be made uncomfortable... news to me since I'm not uncomfortable in situations where many other people are. I just ignore discomfort anyway if I need to push ahead with something. And socially I would never blame discomfort on anyone else (maybe I should learn to).

So... I like your summary because it somehow makes sense in line with my experiences and in line with what some people have explained to me recently about social dynamics. Now just need to learn what stuff makes people uncomfortable, heh. I've got some guidelines on that already but for sure not enough of them yet.

Many thanks if you get to see this post and can reply to my questions.



sinsboldly
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02 Apr 2017, 12:24 pm

Geeze, itsme82, it must have been years ago that I wrote those thoughts. I was out in the world then, working, commuting, using a laundromat, that sort of thing. I am now retired, live in a small motorhome with my cat on the wild Pacific Northwest coast and rarely talk to anyone in person. I absolutely LOVE IT, sister.
At 66 I no longer care to 'improve' my condition to 'get along with others.' Sorry, I won't blow smoke. From all those professionals that want to 'help,' deliver me, please.
I never did figure out how to work well with others . Now that is not a problem. Oh, my landlady sometimes checks in on me, or I take my cat to the Vet, or grunt happily at the UPS man. With Amazon and chewy.com I don't even take the bus go to the supermarket, anymore. Am I the weird old lady others whisper about? Probably. But I'll bet they don't even do that much, and I am invisible to them. Am I happy? Ask my cat when he decides the old lady needs to feed him and he wakes me up in the morning!

Does any of this answer your questions? Probably not. However, remember, someday you will be able to live the way that works best for you. At least, I did.



itsme82
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07 Apr 2017, 8:07 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
Geeze, itsme82, it must have been years ago that I wrote those thoughts. I was out in the world then, working, commuting, using a laundromat, that sort of thing. I am now retired, live in a small motorhome with my cat on the wild Pacific Northwest coast and rarely talk to anyone in person. I absolutely LOVE IT, sister.
At 66 I no longer care to 'improve' my condition to 'get along with others.' Sorry, I won't blow smoke. From all those professionals that want to 'help,' deliver me, please.
I never did figure out how to work well with others . Now that is not a problem. Oh, my landlady sometimes checks in on me, or I take my cat to the Vet, or grunt happily at the UPS man. With Amazon and chewy.com I don't even take the bus go to the supermarket, anymore. Am I the weird old lady others whisper about? Probably. But I'll bet they don't even do that much, and I am invisible to them. Am I happy? Ask my cat when he decides the old lady needs to feed him and he wakes me up in the morning!

Does any of this answer your questions? Probably not. However, remember, someday you will be able to live the way that works best for you. At least, I did.


What I know is that the way that works best for me is not living isolated with a cat. For you this may be the way that works best for you, I won't debate that, but I'm another, different person. I'm far from retirement, for example, so my desires are understandably different.

I think I understand your post a bit more since then though, having read up on the topic.

And it's a nice surprise that you replied lol (I wasn't sure you'd still be around). Thanks for that.



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07 Apr 2017, 10:03 pm

itsme82 wrote:

Thanks for that.


I am sure you will be happy to know I got my job back, and it was a silly clerical error all along. This is why I was so frumpy-grumpy in that reply. I had been out of work for 5 weeks as they 'investigated.' I truly thought it was time I was being sent to pasture, itsme82. Please understand I had thought that, . . . well, it wasn't. Just me being dramatic again.
ah, well, life is never easy, eh? It's always one damned thing after another. Be kind to yourself.



itsme82
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08 Apr 2017, 10:38 am

sinsboldly wrote:
itsme82 wrote:

Thanks for that.


I am sure you will be happy to know I got my job back, and it was a silly clerical error all along. This is why I was so frumpy-grumpy in that reply. I had been out of work for 5 weeks as they 'investigated.' I truly thought it was time I was being sent to pasture, itsme82. Please understand I had thought that, . . . well, it wasn't. Just me being dramatic again.
ah, well, life is never easy, eh? It's always one damned thing after another. Be kind to yourself.


Oh heh yeah glad to hear it's working out for you with the job. No worries really about your earlier reply to me. And, life is like that, yeah. :)



reyisautistic
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17 Apr 2017, 10:56 pm

If somebody could illustrate what differintiates NPD and Autism, I'd really aporeciate it.

I've been diagnosed with Autism, and I've strongly suspected BPD for years.


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itsme82
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20 Apr 2017, 4:18 am

reyisautistic wrote:
If somebody could illustrate what differintiates NPD and Autism, I'd really aporeciate it.

I've been diagnosed with Autism, and I've strongly suspected BPD for years.


They are pretty different (DSM-V):

ASD:

Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts currently or by history
At least two types of restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities

BPD:

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects,
and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts