How to tell if a girl likes you.

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in my experience the ONLY girls who go after guys are tramps. Found that to be true in elementary, jr high, high school and most recently at work. Ok..maybe 1% of those women who go after a guy are not tramps...but the way that 1% would go about it would be in an entirely different way and in an attempt to get a real connection where as the other 99% can only say "hey, I think your hot" etc. And I might sound like a jerk about this but I am tired of tramps, they really make me lose respect for women and I wish there were fewer tramps in the world.

Well, I once was that woman, @Daemonic-Jackal. I was dealing with a socially awkward guy that I thought might have relationship potential. I told him I thought he was attractive, gave him a few nice compliments, and gave him a perfect opportunity to "make his move" - which he failed to do. Because I knew he was socially awkward, I decided to be "brave" and make the first move instead. At the time, he was (quite enthusiastically) receptive to my overture. After we broke up, he told everyone that he found it "emasculating" when a woman initiated a relationship with a man. I don't know for sure if he really believed that or if he was just saying things to hurt me (he said a lot of things that weren't true in order to hurt me after the relationship ended)....but it made me much less willing to want to give a "shy guy" the same kind of "break" in the future. Let's face it, when the romance is over, a man can call you "emasculating" or a "tramp" (as @liveandletdie quite ignorantly surmises) - all because you expressed an interest in him.

Since I'm neither "emasculating" nor a "tramp," my motivation was not to dominate the object of my affection, and I didn't just want to lay him, either. From my perspective, I thought it would be foolish to pass up a relationship with someone I believed was truly special because he was socially awkward and didn't seem to be picking up my signals. If it had worked out between us, I thought it would be a funny story we'd tell some day about how we would have never gotten together if I hadn't screwed up all my courage and asked him if he "liked me, liked me." But it didn't work out between us, and it just turned into an opportunity for him to criticize and humiliate me.

Dude talking about getting "emasculated" after the fact is worthless. That in itself to me doesn't even suggest that he was calling you a tramp, it just exemplifies his general weakness.

Any dude who comes out of a relationship or whatever situation like "ouch my fragile manliness hurts cause she cut me some slack in the first place" a.) makes no sense, and b.) deserves ridicule himself from his friends way more than the girl in question does.

Well thanks for your perspective, @amazon_television. "....ouch my fragile manliness hurts," made me smile about that situation - didn't think that was possible.

In addition to what others have said about this, I would only add the warning to make sure her contact with you is not for professional reasons. So when she talks to you, it needs to be something that is not something she would also do for other people as well.

In other words, if she is making a special trip out of her way to come and talk to you about non-business stuff, then go for it. But not so much if she is coming to tell you about the new business proposal and then going to the office next door and telling that guy the same thing. But even if the topic is business, you can try to shift the topic to personal by saying something like; "Have you ever been jet skiing?"

Sometimes I'm so nervous around a guy I like I can't even talk to him and tend to avoid and not speak to him. He probably thinks im a weirdo or doesnt like him.

I was having an odd situation similar... sorta.

There is one girl I like, and I can't even talk to her being too nervous. I end up talking to her dad about 95% of the time instead, and draw blanks at what to say to her. She probably thinks I'm weird.

There were a few times which I did try and halfassed asked her out, but every single time it just lacked confidence. After reading this topic, I likely got friend zoned at best.

No no. She comes and chats about non work related stuff all the time. That's why I am curious about her feelings. I am terrible at reading the signs, but this seems like a good sign to me.

Thanks for the advice, friend! As I said, I am completely hopeless at reading the signs, so I am pleased to hear that this sounds like a good sign.

I've noticed if a girl likes you she will 'make' ways to have contact with you. Simple things like leaving sunglasses or something behind so she has an excuse to come back again later to get them for eg. If she knows you will be somewhere at a certain time she will often 'coincidentally' happen to be there at the same time for a reason totally unrelated to you being there which she will often make sure she tells you. (just in case you think she is there to see you )

From my exp. (not extensive but I have some) if a girl likes you most won't tell you, she will try and get you to 'notice' her instead.

Peace ellomo

Well, personally, if I like a guy, I use any excuse I can get to physically close/touch him and I ask him abut himself - Lots of questions. I probably won't share too much about myself unless it's like a "Hey, you like ____? Me too!" That sort of thing. I'm often too nervous to talk about myself because I'm worried I'll talk so fast that I end up segueing into some esoteric topic that is too odd, or boring for him to hear about. I hate to talk about myself in high pressure situations.
Probably I'll unconsciously do some nervous laughter as well, but accompanied by a too big, too long smile, if I like the guy.

The nervous laughter is kind of confusing, I know, cause I also do it when I just want to get away from someone.
Like if I don't like a guy that has given me hints that he's interested, then I'll probably laugh nervously to be polite and seem friendly, but my laughing expression will fade very fast, and then I'll try to look busy doing something else like reading, shopping or texting in hopes that he'll just leave me alone. I like to avoid confrontation if I can when it comes to rejecting guys. If he doen't stop after that, I'll just leave the building or move to another room, if I can.

As a girl, with many female friends, also I feel comfortable saying that a lot of these supposed 'signs' that are indicative of attraction are not true for every girl. For example, some people are just naturally very touchy-feely, even if they just see you as a platonic friend. So it doesn't necessarily mean they're interested if they are giving you touching your arm or giving you 'hello' hugs or whatever.

Basically, I'm saying that I think every girl has her own things that she does. At least body language-wise.
But most girls will look somewhat more eager than usual when they're around someone they like. Also, if they make excuses to spend time together with you when there are other options available, they obviously wouldn't do that if they didn't like you somewhat. But that can be dangerous to read into.

Sorry I'm not more helpful!

It could have just been sour grapes, but I must confess I've sometimes felt slightly spooked when women have been more forward with me than the standard gender stereotype would normally allow. I don't know whether that's down to some instinctive feeling that it's somehow unnatural, or if it's experience that makes me expect some kind of backlash - I think that in some cases, when a woman makes it very easy for a man, she later regrets it and tries to throw a few spanners into the works after the relationship has got off the ground, so that the guy still has to jump through a few hoops to prove his worth. Unfortunately by that time it can be a lot more hurtful because there's so much more invested.

I've heard that women play this "hard to get" game because they need to make sure that the guy they choose has the strength to make it longterm. I noticed that with postal dating (the forerunner of online dating), some of the ladies would suddenly vanish off my radar, only to reappear a little while later.....it was so frequent that I came to expect it, though it always upset me. I put it down to the method of getting in touch, which kind of blows the lady's cover from the start, because it's obvious that they're looking for a partner and the very fact that they're talking to you means that they're very likely see you as a potential sexual encounter.

I also noticed that some of those women would declare that they didn't want a relationship at all but were just looking for some kind of special friendship. That always seemed difficult to believe.....it didn't quite fit that they'd joined a "love and dating" venture if they weren't looking for that, then there was the fact that most of those encounters did eventually become sexual. And I know there are exceptions, but I think that generally a close, special friendship between 2 people of the right sexual orientation is extremely likely to become a relationship. Frankly I ended up viewing those "I don't want a relationship" claims as meaningless gobbledegook, though I was always careful not to tell them that.

On the other hand it's interesting that he didn't seem to admit that your "emasculating" behaviour had been essential to the starting of the relationship because of his insecurities. So you could well be correct - all I'm saying is that this "man must chase woman" thing seems to be rather deeply ingrained in a lot of us. So it could have been a combination of bitterness and the same spooky feeling I get whenever the unwritten law is transgressed.

Your comments very accurately reflect the difficulties a woman faces: if she takes the lead, she's doing something unnatural, spooky, aggressive, emasculating, slu*ty, fill-in-your-negative-stereotype here. If she waits for the guy to act (as most of us do), we're insensitive, cold, snooty, unwilling to meet a "shy guy" halfway, fill-in-your-negative-stereotype here.

So the situation is not a whole lot easier for us women. Just as men value their masculinity, we women value our femininity as well - even we women who can and do take care of ourselves and our families. We can be strong and protective and nurturing - and still have a desire to be considered just as feminine as women who maybe aren't as strong and independent. I assumed that a man who had suffered ridicule because he didn't fit society's stereotype of masculinity wouldn't be so quick to use society's stereotypes of femininity against me, but after we broke up he began describing me publicly as emasculating, unattractive, undesirable....all the things a woman wouldn't want to hear from the same man who told her he admired her strength and thought she was beautiful. And I actually helped him hurt me because I made the "first move"....go figure.

So.....maybe cut us ladies a little slack when you start to believe that we're not meeting you halfway, or not making it any easier for you to approach us. Maybe we tried that once or twice, and all we got out of it was a nice new set of battle scars.

You don't sound like you lack any non-verbal communication/social skills. In fact, if I recall right, I read some of your posts and your blog (wasn't your blog talks about entertainment value in guys and such?) , I strongly believe that you lack nothing.....

Then its time to ask her if she would like to go have lunch somewhere with you. If she says yes, then its a go for main engine start.

He damned himself out of his own mouth - it makes no sense that a guy who truly finds somebody unattractive and undesirable, had a relationship with them......that's got to be sour grapes, and very badly-scripted sour grapes at that.

I completely agree that there's no point in the sexes blaming each other for the quirks of the mating game. Hopefully the whole sorry mess will eventually clear itself up.....I guess feminism is at some kind of halfway point where nobody quite knows what their proper roles are any more. I suspect that the emotional evolution of humans lags behind intellectual and ethical change, rather like with contraception where people are still as jealous and possessive as they used to be when sex equalled pregnancy.