Why do guys hate fat chicks?

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Would you date someone fatter than you?
Yes 70%  70%  [ 123 ]
No 30%  30%  [ 53 ]
Total votes : 176

Variant
Deinonychus
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12 Jul 2010, 11:55 am

Erisad, all men are not so close minded and uptight. True, many men are, but that is due to the social programming telling them what they're supposed to think of as attractive.

There is nothing wrong with you just the way you are, you just need to find a guy who recognizes that and appreciates it. That might not be easy, because the social programming is so prevalent throughout society, but don't give up hope.

Just keep in mind that you are not the problem, and the fact that you are already dieting and exercising shows that you are willing to work for a relationship, which speaks highly of you.

LordoftheMonkeys wrote:
I don't see what's with all these fat people complaining that they can't get a date. All you gotta do is change your diet and exercise more. It's not like you were born with cleft lip or something.


Sorry to tell you but it doesn't always work that way. Everyone has a different metabolism, those with a really slow metabolism have a great deal of trouble losing weight regardless of how hard they try.

A friend of mine has an extremely slow metabolism, he exercises and diets consistently, but has a great deal of trouble losing any weight. And he didn't become overweight from over eating or being lazy either. He ate a normal amount of food and was reasonably active, but his metabolism being so slow caused him to pack on the pounds as time went on.

I am fortunate enough to have a fast metabolism, and I feel bad for my friend when we're hanging out and I eat over twice as much as he does, but I don't put on any weight and he can't get rid of any.


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12 Jul 2010, 11:56 am

Erisad wrote:
I know that I'm really insecure and have major trust issues with people. I always feel like people are playing me for their own entertainment. Apparently getting a fat girl's hopes up and then crushing them is hilarious.


First off, you're a pretty young woman. :) Secondly, I'm thinking the problem along with you needing a bit more self esteem is that maybe you should try dating older guys. Some guys your age (Note that I said SOME, not all) are basically still little boys looking for the hot chick to score with. It's been my experience that sometimes older men are on a better level with us aspie women as far as maturity.

The weight issue, let me tell you something. I've been very heavy and I've been too thin, but my insecurity never changed until I decided to change my attitude about myself. Heavy, thin, short, tall, we're all the same, no one is any better and anyone who thinks different is fooling themselves.

You've got a long life ahead of you, don't let a few idiots bring you down.


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BrandonSP
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12 Jul 2010, 12:07 pm

Although I struggle with weight issues myself, I am not physically attracted to overweight women. However, there are guys who don't mind extra fat on their women, so I don't think overweight women are necessarily doomed to remain single.



Erisad
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12 Jul 2010, 12:09 pm

Variant wrote:
Erisad, all men are not so close minded and uptight. True, many men are, but that is due to the social programming telling them what they're supposed to think of as attractive.

There is nothing wrong with you just the way you are, you just need to find a guy who recognizes that and appreciates it. That might not be easy, because the social programming is so prevalent throughout society, but don't give up hope.

Just keep in mind that you are not the problem, and the fact that you are already dieting and exercising shows that you are willing to work for a relationship, which speaks highly of you.


*shakes fist* Curse you TV, curse yoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

I guess I'm discouraged because I have been dieting and exercising for six weeks and haven't lost a single pound while my mother already lost 5. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? :(

spooky13 wrote:
First off, you're a pretty young woman. Smile Secondly, I'm thinking the problem along with you needing a bit more self esteem is that maybe you should try dating older guys. Some guys your age (Note that I said SOME, not all) are basically still little boys looking for the hot chick to score with. It's been my experience that sometimes older men are on a better level with us aspie women as far as maturity.

The weight issue, let me tell you something. I've been very heavy and I've been too thin, but my insecurity never changed until I decided to change my attitude about myself. Heavy, thin, short, tall, we're all the same, no one is any better and anyone who thinks different is fooling themselves.

You've got a long life ahead of you, don't let a few idiots bring you down.


Define older. I've been hit on by guys in their forties which seems really creepy to me. Of course they got pissed when I told them that I don't want anything to do with a guy who's the same age as my father. >.<

I'm not sure about the whole "everyone is the same" thing. It's like in the book Animal Farm "everyone is equal but some are more equal than others." I feel that one applies to our society more in this sort of thing. People try to say that everyone is equal when it's not true. There's a reason why some people are rich and others are digging through the trash for dinner, same goes for weight and dating. I see skinny girls with men pandering at their feet and I'm confused as to why seeing as they have as much personality as a stick of celery. Apparently appearance is more important than personality nowadays. :/



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12 Jul 2010, 12:23 pm

Erisad wrote:
BigK wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I'm not attracted to black guys. Not to mention if I were to fall for one, my family would never let me marry him so it's pointless to move in that direction.
/


Awww. And it was all sounding so goooood! :D


I'm sorry. I'm sure you're a good person though. :(



Hey, You look great in your photo but MrsK would object more than your folks ;)

Some guys want a hot looking date mainly to impress their mates. Same as they want the fastest car, the sharpest suit, the most expensive watch.
If you only got the guy because you look like a glamour model you would have serious competition every time another hottie came along.

A lot of guys are not too worried about a girls size. You are better off with someone who wants you for you and not because you look like what people say he should have.


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astaut
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12 Jul 2010, 12:27 pm

LordoftheMonkeys wrote:
I don't see what's with all these fat people complaining that they can't get a date. All you gotta do is change your diet and exercise more. It's not like you were born with cleft lip or something.


That is the most ignorant thing I've heard this month. That isn't the case with every single person. And you said yourself that you were extremely skinny, how would you even know anything about exercise? I've just had to take steroids for over a year for endocrine problems and they have made me gain about 80 lbs. I have cut meat, most dairy, gluten, and most sugar out of my diet. I exercise. I am gaining weight still. I don't have a thyroid problem or diabetes. What would you recommend?

Ugh. Sorry if that's against the rules, I just get so mad about that :evil:


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Variant
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12 Jul 2010, 12:27 pm

Erisad wrote:
*shakes fist* Curse you TV, curse yoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

I guess I'm discouraged because I have been dieting and exercising for six weeks and haven't lost a single pound while my mother already lost 5. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? :(


That is essentially addressed in the second part of my post above that was in response to LordoftheMonkeys post. You likely just have a slower metabolism than your mother does.


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Erisad
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12 Jul 2010, 12:29 pm

BigK wrote:
Erisad wrote:
BigK wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I'm not attracted to black guys. Not to mention if I were to fall for one, my family would never let me marry him so it's pointless to move in that direction.
/


Awww. And it was all sounding so goooood! :D


I'm sorry. I'm sure you're a good person though. :(



Hey, You look great in your photo but MrsK would object more than your folks ;)

Some guys want a hot looking date mainly to impress their mates. Same as they want the fastest car, the sharpest suit, the most expensive watch.
If you only got the guy because you look like a glamour model you would have serious competition every time another hottie came along.

A lot of guys are not too worried about a girls size. You are better off with someone who wants you for you and not because you look like what people say he should have.


Ah, okay then.

I'm more concerned that I'll always be labeled as a "friend type" and no one will want to take it to the next step because of how I look.



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12 Jul 2010, 12:31 pm

I said yes, because most people in general are fatter than me. If I ruled out anyone fatter than me, then that would cut out most, some of whom I might find attractive. Yes, I understand that it's the person inside that counts, not superficial appearances and the "hotties" are known to cheat and be golddiggers because they can get away with it, apparently.

However, this is not a free pass to neglect taking care of oneself, and staying within sight of medically defined norms for body mass index. Don't do it for me, do it, for YOURSELF!! !! It's not just weight, but other issues like smoking, too, which get into the overall attractiveness picture. I have rejected women because they smoke.

I'm quite familiar with the disability aids issued to persons who've suffered the medical consequences of a life spent smoking or being too heavy, and they are clunky, expensive, burdensome and only slightly more tolerable than the condition they're meant to compensate. These include wheelchairs, amigos, special beds, oxygen tanks and the like. Even in this day and age, there's still not a whole lot that can be done to make life as good for the profoundly disabled as it is for a healthy person. Take care of your body, because if you don't, you will be SOL.



Last edited by sgrannel on 12 Jul 2010, 12:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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12 Jul 2010, 12:33 pm

Erisad wrote:
Quartz11 wrote:
It's more like: people getting anyone's hopes up and then crushing them is hilarious. Some people have this bully mentality and feel the need to act like they're better than someone else - to ease their own fears of not being good enough to others.

It's not like you got singled out because you're overweight.


I guess I'm too sensitive for this world. *hugs anti-depressants* :(



Anti-depressants? Help a guy out here, share the wealth.

Are you oversensitive? Perhaps. You might not be though. There's just a lot of people who get bullied for no real good reason, just cause some jerkoff needs to feel better about themselves by pointing faults in others.

Ya do know there are people out there who are willing to overlook superficial crap if someone has a good enough personality.



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12 Jul 2010, 12:33 pm

Variant wrote:
Erisad wrote:
*shakes fist* Curse you TV, curse yoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

I guess I'm discouraged because I have been dieting and exercising for six weeks and haven't lost a single pound while my mother already lost 5. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? :(


That is essentially addressed in the second part of my post above that was in response to LordoftheMonkeys post. You likely just have a slower metabolism than your mother does.


*sigh* I guess that's why everyone thinks I'm my mom's younger sister. Most people think I look 3-5 years older than I really am. I don't wanna look old! Geeze I'm messed up. :(



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12 Jul 2010, 12:38 pm

Erisad wrote:
I'm more concerned that I'll always be labeled as a "friend type" and no one will want to take it to the next step because of how I look.


Your poll says otherwise. :D

It's just a matter of finding the right person. That will probably be someone who can think for himself and not just follow the herd.


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Erisad
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12 Jul 2010, 12:39 pm

sgrannel wrote:
I said yes, because most people in general are fatter than me. If I ruled out anyone fatter than me, then that would cut out most, some of whom I might find attractive. Yes, I understand that it's the person inside that counts, not superficial appearances and the "hotties" are known to cheat and be golddiggers because they can get away with it, apparently.

However, this is not a free pass to neglect taking care of oneself, and staying within sight of medically defined norms for body mass index. Don't do it for me, do it, for YOURSELF!! !! It's not just weight, but other issues like smoking, too, which get into the overall attractiveness picture. I have rejected women because they smoke.


The BMI is a load of crap. It doesn't account for those with muscle. Someone can be heavier just because they have more muscle, which is heavier than fat. :/



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12 Jul 2010, 12:42 pm

Quartz11 wrote:
Erisad wrote:
Quartz11 wrote:
It's more like: people getting anyone's hopes up and then crushing them is hilarious. Some people have this bully mentality and feel the need to act like they're better than someone else - to ease their own fears of not being good enough to others.

It's not like you got singled out because you're overweight.


I guess I'm too sensitive for this world. *hugs anti-depressants* :(



Anti-depressants? Help a guy out here, share the wealth.

Are you oversensitive? Perhaps. You might not be though. There's just a lot of people who get bullied for no real good reason, just cause some jerkoff needs to feel better about themselves by pointing faults in others.

Ya do know there are people out there who are willing to overlook superficial crap if someone has a good enough personality.


*hands you one* Here you go. I'd mail them but I don't think that's legal. :D

I know I guess they don't live in Pennsylvania. :/



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12 Jul 2010, 12:48 pm

Yeah, its basically the media that sways what the rest of our damn nation desires Erisad. Giving up though is the worst thing you can do for yourself if you genuinely desire a relationship. From what I read Ive gathered that it is more of a personality issue that is the root of the problem for you, the big ones being the self-esteem and trust issues. That and I somehow feel that you might have missed quite a few opportunities because of the trust issue especially.

And I have actually noticed (in my area anyways), the overweight people seem far more happier than the super-fit/thin people, even those around our age. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they are comfortable with how they are.

As for losing weight and such, there is indeed a hormonal side when it comes to women. And id ignore that post by lord of monkeys or whatever. Not everyone can enjoy exercising. Just because your not enjoying it doesnt mean your not putting effort, so I view it that he is wrong in that opinion he stated. As for my advice for it. You have to set a routine and stick to it. Also minimizing stress will definately help with weight loss (less stress = less cortisol) . And this advice is coming from someone who used to be super thin, however the surgery I had totally f****d with my ability to exercise. Only have about half range of motion in my legs or else I tear open sutures and scarring along my coccyx (tailbone for those who dont know, and yes it tends to bleed like hell and is very painful when it happens.). So yeah, I know it sucks going from 170-180 to 210 because of surgery. Still trying to drop it though, by watching what I eat/drink as well as still trying to stay somewhat active.

I can help ya with diet stuff if you can list down what you drink (It is a lot more important than some people think), as well as what types of stuff you eat the most. Also got to realize that because of limited income in college, diet is usually the problem. Many people are known to gain at least 15 lbs in their first year of college.

And as an honest opinion, you do have a very pretty face. So don't say you are ugly as hell like you've been. Be happy when people acknowledge that you have at least one good feature. Realizing that should help ya with some of the self esteem issues.

and as another fact that should cheer ya up a bit. How you look also depends a lot on skeletal structure. You cant go solely by weight/BMI (I myself view BMI as a very poor indicator because of the fact it doesn't take skeletal structure, bone density, and muscle mass into consideration, it only goes by weight, height, gender, and age.) In fact the skeletal structure for most of those "super-thin" people you see is on the rare side. The average skeleton is a bit wider in all aspects (not necessarily counting the head.)


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Quartz11
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12 Jul 2010, 12:48 pm

It's much easier to find shallow. s**t, I was pretty shallow myself there for a while. Just chase around the prettiest girls, try to get seen. It didn't work. So now I rather be happy with someone I'm much more compatible with and can talk to with ease - rather than some hot chick who aggravates the hell out of me.

Society does have this obsession over being shallow and superficial though, which does nobody anything good.