Difficulty Articulating Thoughts/Feelings

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

nansnick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 774

29 Jul 2010, 8:23 pm

In conversation, verbal or written, my fluency of thought is impeded. Extra time is needed to properly compose thoughts/feelings into a verbal/written dialogue. Especially a dialogue that wants to be in the form of an exchange. When feeling pressure to reply/answer in a timely manner any authentic form of communication is lost and my mind grasps at anything it can find and throws it out there. Sometimes its pre-thought from situations of former self-talk, sometimes lyrics from songs or scenes from TV/movies. Sometimes its random associations or strung-together-jumbo. Usually it comes out as dismissive and flippant language.

What was said/written needs to be processed, what I’m thinking/feeling needs to be processed, what to reply needs to be pre-processed – flight-flight kicks in to remove me from the situation and allow for processing. But what gets communicated to the other individual is inaccurate.

Does anyone else find they come off as flippant when having trouble articulating what one wishes to say/convey?

If there is one thing I don't want to do it is to be not-genuine or give someone else an impression that they don't matter.


_________________
forwards not backwards, upwards not forwards, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom


Epiphany
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 32

29 Jul 2010, 9:06 pm

Suggestion, wear earplugs for a few days. The foam type. If you start to struggle with articulation, learn to close your mouth excuse yourself POLITELY (with a reason that doesn't offend the person you're talking to) and very carefully think your responses over before you make them.

You can't take back something that has been said once it's happened, even if you rethink your response, so you have to justify the ENTIRE chain of conversation with each response not just the last reply. It ain't easy acting NT =)



ForFlorence
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 Sep 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 180

29 Jul 2010, 9:11 pm

edited


_________________
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in Truth you are weeping fort hat which has been your delight."


Last edited by ForFlorence on 29 Jul 2010, 9:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

pgd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,624

29 Jul 2010, 9:23 pm

nansnick wrote:
In conversation, verbal or written, my fluency of thought is impeded. Extra time is needed to properly compose thoughts/feelings into a verbal/written dialogue. Especially a dialogue that wants to be in the form of an exchange. When feeling pressure to reply/answer in a timely manner any authentic form of communication is lost and my mind grasps at anything it can find and throws it out there. Sometimes its pre-thought from situations of former self-talk, sometimes lyrics from songs or scenes from TV/movies. Sometimes its random associations or strung-together-jumbo. Usually it comes out as dismissive and flippant language.

What was said/written needs to be processed, what I’m thinking/feeling needs to be processed, what to reply needs to be pre-processed – flight-flight kicks in to remove me from the situation and allow for processing. But what gets communicated to the other individual is inaccurate.

Does anyone else find they come off as flippant when having trouble articulating what one wishes to say/convey?

If there is one thing I don't want to do it is to be not-genuine or give someone else an impression that they don't matter.


----

Yes, I am far better with written materials than conversation over a phone or in person. Some persons can hardly believe the vast difference. It's like two different persons to them. I recall seeing a show on TV where a gifted pianist was asked to talk and he sounded like a verbal idiot and he only spoke one incomplete sentence as I recall. The show was about the topic of being gifted and learning disabled at the same time. For some persons, it's very real. For me with phone conversations, I often will make a very short written list in advance and stick to it, then politely hang up quickly. In social situations, when asked "How are you?", I will simply respond with one word - fine - leave it there and let others do the majority of talking.



eon
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 194

29 Jul 2010, 10:21 pm

this I think is the big challenge of trying to be oneself in the verbal exchange setting. (as in "be yourself")
it's extremely difficult to convert the rhythm of our thoughts into the rhythm demanded by interaction, especially with impaired executive function. there are many factors contributing to this increased difficulty we experience. the requirements of the interaction are an assault of overload on already scattered attention.

I've found that when I am doing my work (involving telephone conversations, much less "non-verbal" components) I feel like I'm being myself fairly well, for the most part I feel at ease and can organize my thought, and the primary exchange is just a process I know well and can easily repeat. I am the guide, my clients are the learners. This is in no way the case when I am trying to interact with someone one on one, requiring me to think and compose communication, while holding still, presenting myself respectfully, and mirroring their body language. I learned this "mirroring" idea when training for a sales type professional position. I don't think I have ever used body language as intended before that or since. But if you just do what they are doing, the other person feels that you are in-sync with their thoughts and feelings. That's what the sales training people said, anyway. Then you're supposed to do nodding (nodding the head 'yes') when conveying your position (aka your sales pitch) to help your image of confidence, reliability, and overall "alikeness" to them.


_________________
http://youhaventmetyourselfyet.blogspot.com/
Learn the answers to all your wondering... get Complete Guide to asperger's by Dr. Tony Attwood.
http://www.aspiescentral.com/member.php/75-eon
ADHDer since 1990. Diagnosed Aspie 8/2010


nansnick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 774

31 Jul 2010, 10:32 am

eon wrote:
this I think is the big challenge of trying to be oneself in the verbal exchange setting. (as in "be yourself")
it's extremely difficult to convert the rhythm of our thoughts into the rhythm demanded by interaction, especially with impaired executive function. there are many factors contributing to this increased difficulty we experience. the requirements of the interaction are an assault of overload on already scattered attention.


Very much. Reading that paragraph led me to think about how it would sound if it was stated in conversation as it is in text. It reads well but may come off as "strange" if used in verbal dialogue. Written word is easier to use formal language and structure vs the informal demands of social interaction.

Being too serious is another thing.


_________________
forwards not backwards, upwards not forwards, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom


mikey1138
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 194
Location: This Island Earth

31 Jul 2010, 12:28 pm

I think I articulate my thoughts quite satisfactorily and accurately via written forms. And, I can usually communicate my thoughts verbally if I'm not stressed out by the situation. But I have an extremely difficult time identifying, naming, and articulating my emotions verbally or written out. It is a source of much frustration for my wife. I really try hard to communicate my emotions to her but am usually at a loss. She understands the underlying reason for my inability to communicate effectively with her, but I don't think she has the patience to accept it. We'll be having a "deep" conversation, or more often, an argument about our relationship and she will ask me what I'm feeling, or how I feel about what she said, or what I feel about this or that. I stare off with my mind racing to try and find the words or even figure out how exactly it is I'm feeling because I want to give her a genuine, accurate answer. She does try to be patient. Sometimes, she will wait just looking at me for minutes, hours, whatever... but the more time that elapses, the more self-conscious and frustrated I become and it becomes even harder for me to focus and concentrate. Finally, I will give and up just shrug my shoulders or give her one of my classic lines such as, "I don't know." Then, she becomes very livid and tells me, "You're not a f%^*'ng 16 year old kid, Mikey who shrugs his shoulders at everything!! !" Awww... it's so frustrating and somewhat tragically comical at the same time.



DarthMetaKnight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,105
Location: The Infodome

31 Jul 2010, 12:58 pm

I have difficulty articulating my thoughts, but not my feelings.


_________________
Synthetic carbo-polymers got em through man. They got em through mouse. They got through, and we're gonna get out.
-Roostre

READ THIS -> https://represent.us/


nansnick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 774

31 Jul 2010, 2:46 pm

mikey1138 wrote:
I think I articulate my thoughts quite satisfactorily and accurately via written forms. And, I can usually communicate my thoughts verbally if I'm not stressed out by the situation. But I have an extremely difficult time identifying, naming, and articulating my emotions verbally or written out. It is a source of much frustration for my wife. I really try hard to communicate my emotions to her but am usually at a loss.


Yes, putting an adjective to an emotion is a severe difficulty. Being able to identify a feeling as generically happy or generically sad is one thing but to pin-point that to a subtle emotion is another. There is a poster on my wall of different cartoon faces pulling a variety of emotions with the word to describe each underneath. When trying to pin-point a feeling I will go mimic different faces try and find one that feels as if it is similar to how I feel and then read the word underneath thus identifying a possible emotion.

Its odd. My face, voice and gestures are exaggeratively expressive, something that differs greatly from the AS stereotype, but I am not, usually, able to identify the emotions my body is conveying. Other people can identify different emotions I am feeling because my body can convey them but my mind cannot pin-point what my body is feeling or conveying. It is very self- alienating.

Often times people will say that my body is conveying one emotion but in reality I am feeling another. People then ask what the other emotion is and well, the cycle starts all over again. Sometimes I just grasp at random emotive words hoping one of them will fit, or satisfy the other person enough that they will stop asking.


_________________
forwards not backwards, upwards not forwards, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom