Will women think you are creepy if you hit on them?

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Northeastern292
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05 Aug 2010, 8:47 am

Janissy wrote:
Yasmine wrote:
Generally.. Don't just walk up to her. There needs to be some established connection. Like PROLONGED eyecontact. Actually that is the only situation I can Phantom is ok to hit on someone you do not know at all. If you are talking to a girl because you are in the same situation and striking up a conversation do not hit on her before you are absolutely sure she is flirting with you.

And when/if you hit on someone you need to give her space. Make the move, but make sure you say something of the effect that you'll be leaving soon. Let her know that you will not hang on to her and make her uncomfertable. And of course.. go through with it - do not hang around.


seconded. good advice. :thumleft:


Definitely :thumleft:



NeantHumain
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05 Aug 2010, 9:01 am

Basically women will think you're creepy if you approach them out of the blue and they don't find you attractive. If they found you attractive, they wouldn't think you were. Little things that may be more common in men with Asperger's syndrome can also trigger the creepy factor: too much or too little eye contact; awkward body movement, posture, or gestures; monotonous voice or unusual prosody; pedantic or overly technical way of speaking; lack of reciprocity in social interaction (you're dominating the "conversation," which is more of a soliloquy); &c. Some of these aspies may be consciously aware of and able to change to some extent, but you see that some signs I listed are "soft neurological signs," and these don't change readily.



Peko
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05 Aug 2010, 10:23 am

It depends on how you meet them, if you work with them, take classes with them or are involved in the same activities, you have something automatically to break the ice when introducing yourself and a reason to start a conversation. I can give you some automatic ways to avoid being creepy based on guys I've dealt with; never just stare at a girl for a long period of time, don't scoot really close to an unfamiliar girl, don't meticulously watch her eat, avoid overly sexual conversations and (though I haven't dealt with this one) don't say you really like/love someone you just met. Also, a good preventative at least until you are good friends is never touch a girl without her permission, period. If you catch yourself staring b/c of aspie type spacing out (which is not your fault) once you catch yourself at least try to smile and look away. Smiling and looking away awkwardly will help you go from possible creeper-shy awkward guy :).

I knew as AS guy who proposed marriage to almost every girl in my high school when he turned 18... BAD MOVE (even I wanted to hurt him b/c it was obsessive)


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Last edited by Peko on 05 Aug 2010, 10:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

Peko
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05 Aug 2010, 10:24 am

NeantHumain wrote:
Basically women will think you're creepy if you approach them out of the blue and they don't find you attractive. If they found you attractive, they wouldn't think you were. Little things that may be more common in men with Asperger's syndrome can also trigger the creepy factor: too much or too little eye contact; awkward body movement, posture, or gestures; monotonous voice or unusual prosody; pedantic or overly technical way of speaking; lack of reciprocity in social interaction (you're dominating the "conversation," which is more of a soliloquy); &c. Some of these aspies may be consciously aware of and able to change to some extent, but you see that some signs I listed are "soft neurological signs," and these don't change readily.


This is true but I think too much eye contact/staring (at least for me) is 10+ times more nerve wracking than not enough eye contact.


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Willard
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05 Aug 2010, 11:11 am

JohnisBlind wrote:
Is this one of the side effects of hitting on women? Inevitably some of them will regard you as "creepy"?



Inevitably some people will regard you as 'creepy'.

Once in a while, one or two might mistake you for a celebrity.

Its a numbers game
. The more people you talk to and engage with socially, the more you will find you hit it off with, but there will also be more with whom you don't.

You've just got to get out there and keep plugging away. There's no other way to do it. Obsessing over whether someone is going to perceive you as 'creepy' is only more likely to cause you to come off as awkward, self-conscious and creepy.



Peko
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05 Aug 2010, 3:11 pm

Also, even though their seems to be a stereotype that only men are creepy, their are definitely creepy women. I wonder if their is a way to make creepers and strangers think you're creepy at will?


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JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 3:25 pm

Willard wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Is this one of the side effects of hitting on women? Inevitably some of them will regard you as "creepy"?



Inevitably some people will regard you as 'creepy'.

Once in a while, one or two might mistake you for a celebrity.

Its a numbers game
. The more people you talk to and engage with socially, the more you will find you hit it off with, but there will also be more with whom you don't.

You've just got to get out there and keep plugging away. There's no other way to do it. Obsessing over whether someone is going to perceive you as 'creepy' is only more likely to cause you to come off as awkward, self-conscious and creepy.


Its a numbers game. I've heard that. How do you maximize the number of women you can hit on?



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Aug 2010, 3:31 pm

Usually....

If you are undesired , they will.

If you are hot and desired, they won't.

The more attractive and desired you are , the more women will be tolerant to your flirts.

The more unattractive and undesired you are, the less tolerant will be.



Bethie
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05 Aug 2010, 4:44 pm

I think it's always creepy.
"Attractiveness" has nothing to do with it, for me.

I'm just not comfortable with strangers trying to flirt with me.
Would anyone really argue that men who do that do so for anything OTHER superficial reasons,
ie because they find a woman physically attractive?

They certainly don't know anything ELSE about her....


:?


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Last edited by Bethie on 06 Aug 2010, 4:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Peko
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05 Aug 2010, 4:51 pm

Bethie wrote:
I think it's always creepy.
"Attractiveness" has nothing to do with it, for me.

I'm just not comfortable with strangers trying to flirt with me.
Would anyone really argue that men who do that do so for superficial reasons,
ie because they find a woman physically attractive?

They certainly don't know anything ELSE about her....


:?


You took the words out of my head... :) 8O


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All dependent upon your own perspective in your own form of existence, so trust your own gut and live the way YOU want/need to.


Tequila
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05 Aug 2010, 4:52 pm

Depends on who you do it to and the way you do it.



JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 5:06 pm

Bethie wrote:
I think it's always creepy.
"Attractiveness" has nothing to do with it, for me.

I'm just not comfortable with strangers trying to flirt with me.
Would anyone really argue that men who do that do so for superficial reasons,
ie because they find a woman physically attractive?

They certainly don't know anything ELSE about her....


:?


Yes, I can argue against that notion. The way a woman dresses, her makeup, her hair style and the way she hold herself all tell you something about her personality. Your Avatar make me think of you as an artistically oriented person. It also consists of a collage which are often used to make some kind of statement...which in turn makes me think that you are a very politically oriented person who feels she best expresses her ideals through art. I could be wrong though.



Yasmine
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05 Aug 2010, 6:24 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:

Its a numbers game. I've heard that. How do you maximize the number of women you can hit on?


Wow, really. When I read that I read "How can I ruin the day of the most women I can on the off chance that one perhaps could consider me ok?"

Putting people's( in this case women's) sense of security, comfort (and often selfrespect) on the line because you feel entitled to their time is not ok!



JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 6:30 pm

Yasmine wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:

Its a numbers game. I've heard that. How do you maximize the number of women you can hit on?


Wow, really. When I read that I read "How can I ruin the day of the most women I can on the off chance that one perhaps could consider me ok?"

Putting people's( in this case women's) sense of security, comfort (and often selfrespect) on the line because you feel entitled to their time is not ok!


Well, okay, How do you flirt with as many women as possible? This may be a language/cultural thing.



hale_bopp
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05 Aug 2010, 7:03 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:
Yasmine wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:

Its a numbers game. I've heard that. How do you maximize the number of women you can hit on?


Wow, really. When I read that I read "How can I ruin the day of the most women I can on the off chance that one perhaps could consider me ok?"

Putting people's( in this case women's) sense of security, comfort (and often selfrespect) on the line because you feel entitled to their time is not ok!


Well, okay, How do you flirt with as many women as possible? This may be a language/cultural thing.


Um.. the same way as you would with one.. but do it more



JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 7:10 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Yasmine wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:

Its a numbers game. I've heard that. How do you maximize the number of women you can hit on?


Wow, really. When I read that I read "How can I ruin the day of the most women I can on the off chance that one perhaps could consider me ok?"

Putting people's( in this case women's) sense of security, comfort (and often selfrespect) on the line because you feel entitled to their time is not ok!


Well, okay, How do you flirt with as many women as possible? This may be a language/cultural thing.


Um.. the same way as you would with one.. but do it more



I need help not sarcasm.