Women, is a guy creepy if he hits on you and don't like him?

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JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 6:10 pm

Yasmine wrote:
Hitting on is when you are giving out the vibes, or the woman is getting vibes that the reason you are talking to her is to get a date/sex. THis can be obvious by way of words - or not so obvious and more based on bodylangauge and how things are said. This is different from flirting witch is more based on a sense of humour and cheer and is friendlier. Flirting can also result in date/sex, but is a far more relaxed, friendly and "normal" thing. And more often than not completely innocent.


I find your distinction between hitting on and flirting very interesting.



JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 6:10 pm

Yasmine wrote:
Hitting on is when you are giving out the vibes, or the woman is getting vibes that the reason you are talking to her is to get a date/sex. THis can be obvious by way of words - or not so obvious and more based on bodylangauge and how things are said. This is different from flirting witch is more based on a sense of humour and cheer and is friendlier. Flirting can also result in date/sex, but is a far more relaxed, friendly and "normal" thing. And more often than not completely innocent.


I find your distinction between hitting on and flirting very interesting.



Yasmine
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05 Aug 2010, 6:18 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:
Yasmine wrote:
Hitting on is when you are giving out the vibes, or the woman is getting vibes that the reason you are talking to her is to get a date/sex. THis can be obvious by way of words - or not so obvious and more based on bodylangauge and how things are said. This is different from flirting witch is more based on a sense of humour and cheer and is friendlier. Flirting can also result in date/sex, but is a far more relaxed, friendly and "normal" thing. And more often than not completely innocent.


I find your distinction between hitting on and flirting very interesting.


Moreover "hitting on" can only ever be succsessfull when the recipient is sexually attracted to you, for it not to be creepy to attempt it, the one attempting it must have some clue that the recipient is attracted (the prolonged eyecontact I discussed in another thread of yours). Flirting is much more preferable since it can be brushed of as friendly without making the recipient feel bad and the flirter rejected.



JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 6:26 pm

Yasmine wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Yasmine wrote:
Hitting on is when you are giving out the vibes, or the woman is getting vibes that the reason you are talking to her is to get a date/sex. THis can be obvious by way of words - or not so obvious and more based on bodylangauge and how things are said. This is different from flirting witch is more based on a sense of humour and cheer and is friendlier. Flirting can also result in date/sex, but is a far more relaxed, friendly and "normal" thing. And more often than not completely innocent.


I find your distinction between hitting on and flirting very interesting.


Moreover "hitting on" can only ever be succsessfull when the recipient is sexually attracted to you, for it not to be creepy to attempt it, the one attempting it must have some clue that the recipient is attracted (the prolonged eyecontact I discussed in another thread of yours). Flirting is much more preferable since it can be brushed of as friendly without making the recipient feel bad and the flirter rejected.


I do think that flirting is much more natural. Can you flirt with a random stranger though?



Yasmine
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05 Aug 2010, 6:30 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:

I do think that flirting is much more natural. Can you flirt with a random stranger though?


Yes, in the case you have something in common, something to comment on and is in a sitation where talking would be welcome. The key is to be relaxed, firiendly, not insistent, and having a sense of humor. And something Ap people sometimes struggle with - backing off alittle.



JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 6:40 pm

Yasmine wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:

I do think that flirting is much more natural. Can you flirt with a random stranger though?


Yes, in the case you have something in common, something to comment on and is in a sitation where talking would be welcome. The key is to be relaxed, firiendly, not insistent, and having a sense of humor. And something Ap people sometimes struggle with - backing off alittle.


What situations is talking not welcome? Janissy said that its even okay to flirt at a grocery store.



Yasmine
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05 Aug 2010, 6:48 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:

What situations is talking not welcome? Janissy said that its even okay to flirt at a grocery store.


It's more about circumstances than places. If the woman looks buissy or stressed or simply minding her own buisness it's rude to flirt with her (and totally unneccessary), if she is with kids or friends I'd be very careful (it is probably not for the Aspier of us to try), and if she is someplace where the two of you are alone or it is night it would be extremely inappropriate.

To flirt with a random stranger there needs to be something in common, or something to comment on as well as a situation open for conversation. An example would be waiting for service at a place. Both have time, you are in public, you have something to comment on.

And to you specifically - the talk of maximising and the apparent intense interesst you are showing this (by the number of threads you've started) is uncanny and a red flag. I'd ask you to consider where you are going with this. You seem very intense and not a little unpleasant because of it. I sincerely hope this is not a "AS male virginity thing" and just a "want to master this aspect of socialising thing".



Last edited by Yasmine on 05 Aug 2010, 6:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

hale_bopp
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05 Aug 2010, 6:49 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:
Yasmine wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:

I do think that flirting is much more natural. Can you flirt with a random stranger though?


Yes, in the case you have something in common, something to comment on and is in a sitation where talking would be welcome. The key is to be relaxed, firiendly, not insistent, and having a sense of humor. And something Ap people sometimes struggle with - backing off alittle.


What situations is talking not welcome? Janissy said that its even okay to flirt at a grocery store.


You would not go upto someone who is doing their shopping and ask them on a date. They would look at you weird.

If you are having small talk with them then flirting is ok as long as its not coming on too strong.

If I am feeling social I will say to a stranger with a cool dress "I like your dress, where did you get it?" but that can come off as creepy if a guy did that. A lone guy saying that to a woman in a supermarket is weird. Its less creepy if its a bunch of guys laughing an joking with a bunch of girls (strangers) there



JohnisBlind
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05 Aug 2010, 7:18 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Yasmine wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:

I do think that flirting is much more natural. Can you flirt with a random stranger though?


Yes, in the case you have something in common, something to comment on and is in a sitation where talking would be welcome. The key is to be relaxed, firiendly, not insistent, and having a sense of humor. And something Ap people sometimes struggle with - backing off alittle.


What situations is talking not welcome? Janissy said that its even okay to flirt at a grocery store.


You would not go upto someone who is doing their shopping and ask them on a date. They would look at you weird.

If you are having small talk with them then flirting is ok as long as its not coming on too strong.

If I am feeling social I will say to a stranger with a cool dress "I like your dress, where did you get it?" but that can come off as creepy if a guy did that. A lone guy saying that to a woman in a supermarket is weird. Its less creepy if its a bunch of guys laughing an joking with a bunch of girls (strangers) there


All I am saying is that Janissy said that She did not elaborate beyond that other than to say that I have probably seen it without realizing.



curlyfry
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05 Aug 2010, 7:24 pm

People flirt everywhere.You have to remember general manners anytime you find yourself ready to converse with someone. There was a guy where I worked who could not help flirting with everyone. He said he was bisexual when he was younger and there was this young guy who just started and we would comment on how he was nice looking. He would tell me crazy stories of his dating experiences too which were quite entertaining. He never touched me but always came into my area and I would listen to him BS, laugh and not be judgmental. It was easy because I was not interested and could never be since he didn't understand monogamy. It was one of his usual rants.

I don't think guys should be touching when they flirt unless they have been touched first by the female. As in when they both are laughing about something or agreeing and the women touches the arm of the guy laughing or saying something like "I know!". Then again, I know women who let guys brush against their breast and just act like men just can't help it.