Don't you just hate it when someone asks you this question?

Page 1 of 5 [ 76 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

tinky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,015
Location: en la luna bailando con las vacas

06 May 2006, 11:09 pm

"Why are you so quiet?" :roll:


_________________
tinky is currently trying to overcome anatidaephobia. They're out there and they will find you...

tinky's WP Mod email account: [email protected]

you may tire of the world but the world will never tire of you


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,298
Location: Stalag 13

06 May 2006, 11:25 pm

I hate it, when people ask me that.

I might be absorbed in a good novel. I've been asked that in College, after my Great Grandma passed away, back in 1994. She was the last person in my family, other than me, who knew how it felt to speak with an Accent. Maybe I was hurt by a Relative, so many times in the Past, that I don't have the desire, or the energy to talk to them. I was taught that it was bad to have Obsessions, so I don't talk about them, unless I'm logged-in to Wrong Planet, or at, "Stepping Stones, (my Clubhouse), Where Everybody's Quirks Are Accepted!" I've made that slogan up, myself.



aspiegirl2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,442
Location: Washington, USA

07 May 2006, 12:43 am

Sometimes it could be quite piercing, and then I have this rush of feelings all over again, about being somewhat reclusive at school. Sometimes I'm quiet because I want to think to myself, or that I'd like to be able to read a book. I'm not exactly the right type of person to be talking a 1000 miles/kilometers an hour, although I'm not the kind of person to remain quiet the entire day. Sometimes I remain quiet because I'm scared of saying something that might offend someone about something I didn't know at the time. There are many reasons why I'm quiet in certain situations. Anyways, yeah, sometimes I hate it when someone asks that question, but sometimes it makes me feel as if I'm different, but it's the good type of different, since I know that you could learn more by listening and observing (and that requires being quiet sometimes), than by only talking and conversing.


_________________
I'm 24 years old and live in WA State. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 9. I received a BS in Psychology in 2011 and I intend to help people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, either through research, application, or both. On the ?Pursuit of Aspieness?.


Scaramouche
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 247

07 May 2006, 3:43 am

People have asked me that, yes. I have usually responded with a question of my own, something along the lines of "What would you like me to say?"



Rhisiart_Steffan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,223
Location: Poole,Dorset

07 May 2006, 4:22 am

I don't get that question, I get "Are you alright?"


_________________
Meds are fun!! !! !! !! !! !! !

Pharmacy Techican is not the pharmacist


alexa232
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 772

07 May 2006, 6:55 am

I'm very quiet whenever I'm in the presens of someone who I don't know all that well. I'm rather talkative when in the company of close friends or family ( I have two close friends, almost like sisters; I've known them almost all my life), but than I sometimes tend to talk about my special intrests. The only time I'm sort of outgoing, is when we are playing games or otherwise. I don't like talking when listening to music, or when reading a book; I usually tend to disconnect from my surroundings when I'm very interested in something.
People tend to ask me why I'm so anti social, or now and then someone will say that I seem cold or unfriendly. But really I just don't like to talk all that much. I find social situations hard.



edgey123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 303
Location: England

07 May 2006, 3:34 pm

Talking about special interests is not a great idea but I often have a desire to talk to people but the words don't come out of my mouth when I'm around them.

The thoughts and ideas come out when I'm on my own, then I think "I wish I could have said this.." :x


_________________
Marc Segar Aspie survival guide
http://www.asperger-marriage.info/survg ... pter0.html


mintiness
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 May 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 37

07 May 2006, 6:56 pm

Yes, I tend to get the "Are you OK?" more often as well. I didn't think I looked sick, lol...

Worse thing my daughter is just like me. Everyone just called her 'depressed' (even me :oops: ) until her therapist said to me that maybe it was just her personality. I was just blown away - it hadn't occurred to me, silly as that is!!

Now, I'm more likely to ask, "What are you thinking?" Just had to adjust my thinking a bit!



gsilver
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 646

07 May 2006, 8:29 pm

I get things like:

"Are you OK?" - most people
"Do you want me to get you a beer or something?" (I decline, unless I have no more work to do that evening), followed by "Are you sure? It's really no problem." (and derivations thereof) - a new friend of mine who I met about 2 weeks ago

"If you don't know anything about the subject that people are talking about, the key is to learn how to ask good questions" - An acquaintance I met last semester, when I asked him about how to not be so quiet.

"I just realized that all of us have stood here for 3 minutes without saying anything." - When I was hanging out with the two other people from IV (a religious club I attend) who also seem to have aspie traits.

What is especially annoying is when conversation switches to a topic in which I am familiar, and by the time I formulate everything I want to say, the conversation had switched to another topic. NTs switch topics a lot, so it isn't just my slow processing.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,298
Location: Stalag 13

07 May 2006, 10:56 pm

A question that I hate being asked, even more than this one is, "Are you ignored?", because I tend to be quiet for a woman.



Knightsaber
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 6

07 May 2006, 11:37 pm

You know what? I've been asked 'Why are you so quiet?' about ten thousand times in my life (likely that's close to the literal truth).

Never once since I've gotten my AS diagnosis have I ever thought about that. I guess...that's why I'm quiet.

Maybe I should start answering like this.

Them: Why are you so quiet?
Me: I have Asperger's Syndrome, it's an airborne virus, highly contagious.
Them: (Fleeing)



tinky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,015
Location: en la luna bailando con las vacas

08 May 2006, 5:36 pm

whenever someone asks me that I have to refrain from screaming and i say very calmly "I don't know." I truly do not feel like going into a long explanation of aspergers syndrome and autism. Many people do not know what autism is as proved by my whole english class Teacher: This boy has autism and look at what he's done! Kid: What's autism! Other kid: ret*d people!

I had to scrape my teeth for that little comment.


_________________
tinky is currently trying to overcome anatidaephobia. They're out there and they will find you...

tinky's WP Mod email account: [email protected]

you may tire of the world but the world will never tire of you


Cici
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 May 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: la republica de tejas

08 May 2006, 7:04 pm

I hate it when people tell me to smile. I will (and do) smile when I think it is necessary. :?


_________________
Mom to Nica, doing the best I can.

Sabe más el diablo por ser viejo que por ser diablo.


applesauce
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 130

09 May 2006, 7:54 am

Quote:
I often have a desire to talk to people but the words don't come out of my mouth when I'm around them.

The thoughts and ideas come out when I'm on my own, then I think "I wish I could have said this.."


Me too. Completely. I can talk away like a nutcase online because I can edit/undo/copy/paste/delete/correct.

Can't do that in speech. And I have a fear that whatever I say will be rejected anyhow...so.

Yes.

Apple



anandamide
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2006
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 746

09 May 2006, 9:44 am

Rhisiart_Steffan wrote:
I don't get that question, I get "Are you alright?"


Me too. I have, in the past, found something to complain about, just so I had an excuse for looking as though something is not right. I think it gave people the impression that I am a very passionate person about certain issues.



hyper_alien
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,039
Location: In the arms of me lover

09 May 2006, 9:55 am

Everyone assumes that because I have ADHD I should always be on the move and always hyper. I am not like that and sometimes want to just shrink away and not have to deal with what is going on around me.
People get worried when I do this and automatically assume I am injured or am ill in some way. Well sometimes this is the case but most of the time it is because I need to escape for a while and do this by retreating inside myself.


_________________
Me.