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SteelMaiden
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11 Sep 2010, 5:12 pm

Why do NTs (when they meet) like kissing each other on the cheek? When someone does this to me (in an annoying social gathering), I reluctantly respond appropriately, but I'm thinking "you're not my Mum or Dad, so why are you expecting me to kiss you on the cheek?!"


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buryuntime
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11 Sep 2010, 5:20 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
Why do NTs (when they meet) like kissing each other on the cheek? When someone does this to me (in an annoying social gathering), I reluctantly respond appropriately, but I'm thinking "you're not my Mum or Dad, so why are you expecting me to kiss you on the cheek?!"

I think that this is specific to your culture. Where I live nobody does this. It's kind of like hand-shaking, I would think.



StuartN
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11 Sep 2010, 5:52 pm

buryuntime wrote:
I think that this is specific to your culture. Where I live nobody does this. It's kind of like hand-shaking, I would think.


This is normal where I am, kiss the cheek on the left cheek (their right cheek), then kiss on the cheek on the right, with a small hug. Family, close friends and people you have not seen for a while do it. Less close acquaintances get a hug, or even just a handshake.

When it becomes a ritual, it is easer to cope with. We have friends from other cultures and when there are mixtures in a gathering and it isn't clear who to shake, hug or kiss things can be awkward, or even very stressful. You don't kiss teenagers, especially opposite sex, but never quite know when they are supposed to be admitted into adulthood.



Marcia
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11 Sep 2010, 6:46 pm

buryuntime wrote:
SteelMaiden wrote:
Why do NTs (when they meet) like kissing each other on the cheek? When someone does this to me (in an annoying social gathering), I reluctantly respond appropriately, but I'm thinking "you're not my Mum or Dad, so why are you expecting me to kiss you on the cheek?!"

I think that this is specific to your culture. Where I live nobody does this. It's kind of like hand-shaking, I would think.


Yeah, definately a cultural thing. I'm Scottish and earlier this year met a Canadian woman at a conference. She'd been hugging people when she met them and couldn't understand why everyone seemed really awkward about it and most didn't hug her back, but instead wriggled free as quickly as they could. She thought it was sad that Scots didn't like being hugged, we thought she was too touchy feely.



rmctagg09
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11 Sep 2010, 7:10 pm

It's a sign of affection. I do it as a matter of course with my family members, though I personally dislike it. A friend of mine tried to do it once, and my thoughts could be best described as, "What the heck are you doing?"



arisu
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11 Sep 2010, 8:32 pm

i will grudgingly shake hands but there's no way i'm letting anyone i barely know hug or kiss me. i rarely let my family members touch me, let alone strangers. usually i bob my head or nod to someone i've just met. in professional settings i'll shake hands but it's not something i like doing, i mean you never really know where someone's hands have been and i find it unpleasant to feel a stranger's hot, sweaty palms...


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CockneyRebel
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11 Sep 2010, 11:06 pm

I do that, sometimes.


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PunkyKat
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12 Sep 2010, 12:03 am

I always felt weird kissing my parent's cheeks. Maybe it's because it makes me feel fake and I don't have to feel fake for my parents most of the time. I don't mind kissing animals or babbies on the cheek but then they don't try and kiss me back. I had an extreme aversion to being kissed as a child and still do. This professor at my brother's white coat ceromony kissed me on my cheek when my brother indroduced us. My brother still says he thought I was going to punch him. I was too weirded out to think and already in sensory overload from the stupid dress my parents insisted I wear. I used to watch Family Feud and cringed when the host kissed the woman contestants. I would have smacked him. He should have kissed my hand instead. Strange me kissing women's faces just seems off.


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Dilbert
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12 Sep 2010, 12:23 am

Very culture specific. Kissing on the cheek is pretty common in Europe but virtually unseen in the US. A kiss here is either parent>young kid, or lovers going at it.



OneStepBeyond
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12 Sep 2010, 1:14 pm

er i hate that. unless i fancy you i dont wanna kiss ya



Valoyossa
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12 Sep 2010, 1:40 pm

Here people, especially girls, like to do it. They hug each other and they kiss in left cheek, saying something like Hey, sweetie! (mua, mua).
It's probably their way to show their feelings, I mean friendship, love, etc.
I hate it and I become cold and rigid when somebody tries to hug and kiss me. They call me boring and unfriendly, but hey, why should I do something what's uncomfortable to me?


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lyricalillusions
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13 Sep 2010, 4:11 am

I live in Ohio, in the United States, & that kind of thing happens here a lot, too. That, & hugging. Luckily, I stay away from social gatherings, so it doesn't happen to me often, but sometimes someone will see me unexpectedly & hug me & sometimes kiss me on the cheek. Depending on who the person is, I try to hug them back, but I never kiss them back. That's way too out of my comfort zone. Hugging is bad enough.


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ToughDiamond
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13 Sep 2010, 5:28 am

I quite like it.........makes me feel reassured that the person concerned accepts me - of course I know that it's not necessarily the case, that it's often just a social custom, but it still makes me feel more accepted even if I don't think I'm more accepted.

I don't know how prevalent it is here in England. I've gone for years in some circles and nobody's ever so much as touched anybody else while I've been around, but in other circles it's been very much the done thing. :?

I don't like "air kissing" - that seems to be saying "I don't like you enough to actually kiss you." Luckily I've not noticed air kissing in the circles I move in. Even the turning of the head for cheek kissing feels vaguely rejective to me.......slightly unusual for an Aspie, I like to gaze into their eyes for a moment.